Teachers, does your Principal encourage you to tell your students that you love them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what the principal is saying is fine and I also think it's fine for you to not feel the same way and to not say it. I wouldn't worry about it anymore unless he asks the staff directly to say it, which is hard to imagine him doing.

He doesn't directly ask us to say it. But it's obvious he wants us to. He often tells us how important it is for the kids to hear it, and will say things like, "if you don't genuinely love the students, maybe teaching isn't the right job for you." How realistic is it to expect MS teachers, who don't even really know most of their students on a personal level, to genuinely love them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Principal at the middle school I teach at frequently tells students that he loves them, usually addressed towards all the students during morning announcements, but also on an individual level such as when dealing with discipline problems, such as "I love you, and don't want to see this behavior from you " He hasn't flat out required that the staff says it as well, but he stresses that it's important for kids to know that their teachers love them, and that some of them may rarely hear it from anyone else. He has also made remarks along the lines of "if you don't love your students, this may not be the right job for you " I have to admit, I'm not comfortable with telling my students that I love them. Yes, I care about them, and I believe that shows, but to me love is a strong word. And I really think it's inauthentic to use it towards someone that you really don't know that well. Keep in mind, this is middle school, we have classes of 30 students we see for 50 minutes a day. Also, I tend to think that middle schoolers are old enough to realize that their principal or teacher doesn't truly "love" them in a very meaningful way. Do other teachers also receive this implicit pressure to tell students that you love them?

I don’t see the problem with this that you apparently do.

You don't see the problem with a principal telling his staff that if you don't love the students maybe this isn't the right job for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you’re complaining that your principal wants the kids to
know they’re loved. Some of these kids never hear it at home, so he wants them to know they are cared for and safe at school. What a horrible man.

These are middle schoolers, notmelementary kids. And being cared for and safe isn't the same as being loved. I would think most middle schoolers would understand the difference between someone caring for them vs truly loving them. I would think most kids would take a statement like this as disingenuous. How would you react to your college professor saying I love you to the class? Or your manager at work?

So don’t say “love”. Stop getting stuck on that word. There are so many other ways to express that you care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what the principal is saying is fine and I also think it's fine for you to not feel the same way and to not say it. I wouldn't worry about it anymore unless he asks the staff directly to say it, which is hard to imagine him doing.

He doesn't directly ask us to say it. But it's obvious he wants us to. He often tells us how important it is for the kids to hear it, and will say things like, "if you don't genuinely love the students, maybe teaching isn't the right job for you." How realistic is it to expect MS teachers, who don't even really know most of their students on a personal level, to genuinely love them?

Wait, so he’s not actually telling you to say it. That’s just your impression. Sounds like you don’t have to say it if you don’t want to. So don’t! Just make sure your kids know that you’re there for them if they need you and school is a caring environment for them. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you’re complaining that your principal wants the kids to
know they’re loved. Some of these kids never hear it at home, so he wants them to know they are cared for and safe at school. What a horrible man.

These are middle schoolers, notmelementary kids. And being cared for and safe isn't the same as being loved. I would think most middle schoolers would understand the difference between someone caring for them vs truly loving them. I would think most kids would take a statement like this as disingenuous. How would you react to your college professor saying I love you to the class? Or your manager at work?

So don’t say “love”. Stop getting stuck on that word. There are so many other ways to express that you care.

I think Op's concern is that the principle is specifically using the word "love". He isn't saying "If you don't care for your students and want what's best for them than you shouldn't be teaching", he is specifically saying "If you don't LOVE your students, get out of the business". His use of the word "love" is sort of a generic platitude....yeah, yeah, yeah we know you don't really mean *love* like a parent, you mean *love* like you love a pizza. Saying "I care about all of you and want you to do well in life" is a sincere statement.

[Anonymous]

If you “love” the kids, you will be a martyr teacher who spends tons of her own money, doesn’t complain about an unreasonable workload, takes on additional unpaid responsibilities, etc. Same as “our school is a family.”

I do genuinely love my job and love kids, but I think this emphasis is unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you “love” the kids, you will be a martyr teacher who spends tons of her own money, doesn’t complain about an unreasonable workload, takes on additional unpaid responsibilities, etc. Same as “our school is a family.”

I do genuinely love my job and love kids, but I think this emphasis is unhealthy.

This is exactly what I'm getting at. I feel there is a current trend to pressure teachers to feel as if they should "love" their students. Not simply care for their well being. This expectation that they should actually love their students is done to guilt them into feeling that they should be spending ungodly hours beyond their contract day on work, because "if they really loved the kids", they wouldn't mind. I should also mention that I have heard teachers at other schools mention this as well, or that their principals frequently remind them that teaching is a "calling", and that none of them chose to go into it for the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you “love” the kids, you will be a martyr teacher who spends tons of her own money, doesn’t complain about an unreasonable workload, takes on additional unpaid responsibilities, etc. Same as “our school is a family.”

I do genuinely love my job and love kids, but I think this emphasis is unhealthy.

+1

I think this describes most teachers. Yes, I "love" kids in general, much like as a pp pointed out, I love pizza, but I don't truly love students that I don't really know in the way I love my own children. I might, like, enjoy and care about them, but it's not love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Principal at the middle school I teach at frequently tells students that he loves them, usually addressed towards all the students during morning announcements, but also on an individual level such as when dealing with discipline problems, such as "I love you, and don't want to see this behavior from you " He hasn't flat out required that the staff says it as well, but he stresses that it's important for kids to know that their teachers love them, and that some of them may rarely hear it from anyone else. He has also made remarks along the lines of "if you don't love your students, this may not be the right job for you " I have to admit, I'm not comfortable with telling my students that I love them. Yes, I care about them, and I believe that shows, but to me love is a strong word. And I really think it's inauthentic to use it towards someone that you really don't know that well. Keep in mind, this is middle school, we have classes of 30 students we see for 50 minutes a day. Also, I tend to think that middle schoolers are old enough to realize that their principal or teacher doesn't truly "love" them in a very meaningful way. Do other teachers also receive this implicit pressure to tell students that you love them?

I don’t see the problem with this that you apparently do.

You don't see the problem with a principal telling his staff that if you don't love the students maybe this isn't the right job for you?

Correct. I do not see the problem with that. And if you do, you're kind of nuts.

[Anonymous]

Back in the day, Mr. Rogers told a generation of children they were special and how he "loves" them just the way they are.

I coach a sports teams of young girls who are not my daughters. I "love" them and have told them this. Not in the same way I love my spouse or my children. It's just another way of expressing affection and care.

Some of you are too hung up on the word "love."

Everyone deserves to know they are loved. Why do you think so many people respond to religion and being told Jesus loves them?

There's nothing wrong with this. At all. We need more "love" in this world, and you cynical assholes who have a problem with this need to open your heart and stop being the problem with society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Principal at the middle school I teach at frequently tells students that he loves them, usually addressed towards all the students during morning announcements, but also on an individual level such as when dealing with discipline problems, such as "I love you, and don't want to see this behavior from you " He hasn't flat out required that the staff says it as well, but he stresses that it's important for kids to know that their teachers love them, and that some of them may rarely hear it from anyone else. He has also made remarks along the lines of "if you don't love your students, this may not be the right job for you " I have to admit, I'm not comfortable with telling my students that I love them. Yes, I care about them, and I believe that shows, but to me love is a strong word. And I really think it's inauthentic to use it towards someone that you really don't know that well. Keep in mind, this is middle school, we have classes of 30 students we see for 50 minutes a day. Also, I tend to think that middle schoolers are old enough to realize that their principal or teacher doesn't truly "love" them in a very meaningful way. Do other teachers also receive this implicit pressure to tell students that you love them?

I don’t see the problem with this that you apparently do.

You don't see the problem with a principal telling his staff that if you don't love the students maybe this isn't the right job for you?

Correct. I do not see the problem with that. And if you do, you're kind of nuts.

REAlly? I'm kind of nuts for,thinking it's unrealistic for a principal to expect his teachers who see about 150 students a day for 50 minutes a pop to actually love them? Not just care about but LOVE them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back in the day, Mr. Rogers told a generation of children they were special and how he "loves" them just the way they are.

I coach a sports teams of young girls who are not my daughters. I "love" them and have told them this. Not in the same way I love my spouse or my children. It's just another way of expressing affection and care.

Some of you are too hung up on the word "love."

Everyone deserves to know they are loved. Why do you think so many people respond to religion and being told Jesus loves them?

There's nothing wrong with this. At all. We need more "love" in this world, and you cynical assholes who have a problem with this need to open your heart and stop being the problem with society.

Did your college professors tell you they loved you? How about your manager at work? We're not talking about preschoolers here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back in the day, Mr. Rogers told a generation of children they were special and how he "loves" them just the way they are.

I coach a sports teams of young girls who are not my daughters. I "love" them and have told them this. Not in the same way I love my spouse or my children. It's just another way of expressing affection and care.

Some of you are too hung up on the word "love."

Everyone deserves to know they are loved. Why do you think so many people respond to religion and being told Jesus loves them?

There's nothing wrong with this. At all. We need more "love" in this world, and you cynical assholes who have a problem with this need to open your heart and stop being the problem with society.

The type of "love" you are speaking of is not genuine love, and most people above the age of 10 realize this.

[Anonymous]

Does the principal have his own kids? Does the teacher who listed about loving all her students from day one have her own kids? I felt that way when I was 25 and started teaching. I have my own kids now and it isn't the same type of love. I love my biological kids, I care about my students.

[Anonymous]

Take yourself back in time for when you were in elementary school. You are sitting there ready for another boring day and the teacher walks in with a loopy expression on her face. Before the lessons begin the teacher tries to make a sincere face and tells the class, "I love all of you, I really, really do. You are wonderful students, I love you. I love you!"

I don't know about you but the first thought I would think is that the teacher has lost her mind, or someone really did pee in her coffee. Even children know love isn't something given out like candy, it's emotional and deeper than that although children generally cannot express that insight yet.