Pet peeve- your kid is not “too smart” he is just poorly behaved

[Anonymous]

I don’t mean this in regards to kids acting out at school although I’m sure it applies there too occasionally. I’m talking about “how can I get my 3 year old to follow directions/ let me buckle his car seat/ let me get him dressed? He is a master negotiator! Way too smart for his own good so traditional discipline ain’t gonna work here he is too smart for it!” Like, what?

[Anonymous]

It’s tongue-in-cheek, OP. Are you humor challenged?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s tongue-in-cheek, OP. Are you humor challenged?

It's SOMETIMES tongue-in-cheek; definitely not always. It's sometimes bravado to cover insecurity and feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness. It's defensive in the extreme.

Like when a few parents have observed my children, and their kids aren't even around and/are aren't even acting out, but they proactively say how "Billy can NEVER be that quiet and calm; his mind is just always whirring, and he's SO ACTIVE and blah blah blah..."

[Anonymous]

Wow. You guys are so insecure. Relax. I never worried about any of this when my kids were that age. Wrestle them in the harness, end of story.

[Anonymous]

My kid had a friend who was terribly behaved when mom was around. She'd always say, in front of her kid and mine, that his behavior was understandable because he was gifted. Sometimes, if we both asked our kids to do something, like get out of the pool for adult swim on a pool playdate, and mine did and hers didn't, she'd say something like "I guess there are some advantages to not being so smart". Now, I fully admit that my kid is not gifted, but I don't think the fact that he follows directions is evidence of such.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid had a friend who was terribly behaved when mom was around. She'd always say, in front of her kid and mine, that his behavior was understandable because he was gifted. Sometimes, if we both asked our kids to do something, like get out of the pool for adult swim on a pool playdate, and mine did and hers didn't, she'd say something like "I guess there are some advantages to not being so smart". Now, I fully admit that my kid is not gifted, but I don't think the fact that he follows directions is evidence of such.

Wow I hope you avoid her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid had a friend who was terribly behaved when mom was around. She'd always say, in front of her kid and mine, that his behavior was understandable because he was gifted. Sometimes, if we both asked our kids to do something, like get out of the pool for adult swim on a pool playdate, and mine did and hers didn't, she'd say something like "I guess there are some advantages to not being so smart". Now, I fully admit that my kid is not gifted, but I don't think the fact that he follows directions is evidence of such.

OP- this is exactly what I mean! Like no, the fact that your kid won’t follow a lifeguard instructions doesn’t mean they are “just too smart for this!” It means they are poorly behaved

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid had a friend who was terribly behaved when mom was around. She'd always say, in front of her kid and mine, that his behavior was understandable because he was gifted. Sometimes, if we both asked our kids to do something, like get out of the pool for adult swim on a pool playdate, and mine did and hers didn't, she'd say something like "I guess there are some advantages to not being so smart". Now, I fully admit that my kid is not gifted, but I don't think the fact that he follows directions is evidence of such.

OP- this is exactly what I mean! Like no, the fact that your kid won’t follow a lifeguard instructions doesn’t mean they are “just too smart for this!” It means they are poorly behaved

And the thing was, her kid was smart enough to figure out that his mother actually didn't want him to listen. So, it's not even fair to say he was poorly behaved, he was doing exactly what his parent expected and communicated to him that he should do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid had a friend who was terribly behaved when mom was around. She'd always say, in front of her kid and mine, that his behavior was understandable because he was gifted. Sometimes, if we both asked our kids to do something, like get out of the pool for adult swim on a pool playdate, and mine did and hers didn't, she'd say something like "I guess there are some advantages to not being so smart". Now, I fully admit that my kid is not gifted, but I don't think the fact that he follows directions is evidence of such.

Well, she sounds like a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Pet peeve - stupid moms who think they know everything about parenting every child when they don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pet peeve - stupid moms who think they know everything about parenting every child when they don’t.

+1

[Anonymous]

What do you want her to do, OP? Parenting kids with behavior problems isn’t easy.

Parents who are constantly yelling at their three year olds and talking about how ashamed they are of their child’s behavior are at least as irritating as those who try to put a positive spin on it.

Just tell your friend that it’s fine that her kid didn’t get out of the pool and move on.

[Anonymous]

I know a few moms who swear their obviously poorly behaved kids are gifted. One started reading chapter books at a very young age...but s/he also annoys the teacher by disrupting the class, not following directions, crawling under desks, etc. The moms always say the misbehavior stems from being bored because they are so smart. Um, no...your kid is just a punk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you want her to do, OP? Parenting kids with behavior problems isn’t easy.

Parents who are constantly yelling at their three year olds and talking about how ashamed they are of their child’s behavior are at least as irritating as those who try to put a positive spin on it.

Just tell your friend that it’s fine that her kid didn’t get out of the pool and move on.

I never implied that it wasn't fine. But describing my kid as not smart because he did get out of the pool, when he is right there listening, isn't cool. And it's not putting a positive spin or your own child's behavior to disparage another kid in that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you want her to do, OP? Parenting kids with behavior problems isn’t easy.

Parents who are constantly yelling at their three year olds and talking about how ashamed they are of their child’s behavior are at least as irritating as those who try to put a positive spin on it.

Just tell your friend that it’s fine that her kid didn’t get out of the pool and move on.

I never implied that it wasn't fine. But describing my kid as not smart because he did get out of the pool, when he is right there listening, isn't cool. And it's not putting a positive spin or your own child's behavior to disparage another kid in that way.

So this is basically a sour grapes post, then, OP. Jealous much?!