No Kids at Wedding - Why So Much Anger?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:So besides a few people saying they know/heard of a bridezilla complaining they didn't attend their wedding, almost exclusively all the hate on this thread is coming from parents who hate childfree weddings. Nonstop insults, insinuating they are mentally ill or bad people, yikes. It really makes the parents pushing for their children to be included look entitled, petty and rude.

Yep. Pretty much.

100%. They keep lashing out at everyone in these made up scenarios and calling people bridezillas as if most of the people here haven't already been married years. This isn't some retro version of The Knot.

+1. Its pretty obvious the ones married before 2010 are the ones still using the term “bridezilla.”

Someone suggested “gaping narcissist” earlier and I’m good with that. It’s gender neutral too, so also covers grooms.

The narcissists are the angry parents.

Thinking your wedding is a special day all about you is inherently narcissistic. You might think that narcissism is justified, but it's a simple fact that having a party to celebrate yourself where you prioritize what you want is self centered.

Oh, so you didn’t take RSVPs for your wedding, and you don’t take RSVPs for your kids’ birthday parties? Got it. Because those days are not special and your would-be guests owe you no response, no attention, and no communication. If you expect them to, you are a narcissist. Your kid is not special on his birthday, it would be narcissistic of him to think he is. Got it.

We "took RSVPs" to let out of town guests know about the wedding, but anyone who wanted to come was free to do so. We had a few people show up without RSVPing.

So no caterer, huh? Interesting. Are you the one who had food catered by church mee-maws?

It was a buffet. We picked a buffet partially for that reason.

I had a catered buffet, too. We still had to provide a head count two weeks before the wedding. Name a caterer who doesn’t need a headcount, even if it is plus or minus a few people either way. Name a caterer who doesn’t require a general head count for weddings. I will wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So besides a few people saying they know/heard of a bridezilla complaining they didn't attend their wedding, almost exclusively all the hate on this thread is coming from parents who hate childfree weddings. Nonstop insults, insinuating they are mentally ill or bad people, yikes. It really makes the parents pushing for their children to be included look entitled, petty and rude.

Yep. Pretty much.

100%. They keep lashing out at everyone in these made up scenarios and calling people bridezillas as if most of the people here haven't already been married years. This isn't some retro version of The Knot.

+1. Its pretty obvious the ones married before 2010 are the ones still using the term “bridezilla.”

Someone suggested “gaping narcissist” earlier and I’m good with that. It’s gender neutral too, so also covers grooms.

The narcissists are the angry parents.

Thinking your wedding is a special day all about you is inherently narcissistic. You might think that narcissism is justified, but it's a simple fact that having a party to celebrate yourself where you prioritize what you want is self centered.

Oh, so you didn’t take RSVPs for your wedding, and you don’t take RSVPs for your kids’ birthday parties? Got it. Because those days are not special and your would-be guests owe you no response, no attention, and no communication. If you expect them to, you are a narcissist. Your kid is not special on his birthday, it would be narcissistic of him to think he is. Got it.

We "took RSVPs" to let out of town guests know about the wedding, but anyone who wanted to come was free to do so. We had a few people show up without RSVPing.

So you don’t do RSVPs for your children’s birthday parties? Yes or no. This is a yes or no question.

What do you mean? We invite people. Sometimes they respond, sometimes they don't, but we don't insist on it.

So you never have to provide a head count to a venue, or get a ballpark head count to order food? Hmm, what kind of parties are these?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So besides a few people saying they know/heard of a bridezilla complaining they didn't attend their wedding, almost exclusively all the hate on this thread is coming from parents who hate childfree weddings. Nonstop insults, insinuating they are mentally ill or bad people, yikes. It really makes the parents pushing for their children to be included look entitled, petty and rude.

Yep. Pretty much.

100%. They keep lashing out at everyone in these made up scenarios and calling people bridezillas as if most of the people here haven't already been married years. This isn't some retro version of The Knot.

+1. Its pretty obvious the ones married before 2010 are the ones still using the term “bridezilla.”

Someone suggested “gaping narcissist” earlier and I’m good with that. It’s gender neutral too, so also covers grooms.

The narcissists are the angry parents.

Thinking your wedding is a special day all about you is inherently narcissistic. You might think that narcissism is justified, but it's a simple fact that having a party to celebrate yourself where you prioritize what you want is self centered.

Oh, so you didn’t take RSVPs for your wedding, and you don’t take RSVPs for your kids’ birthday parties? Got it. Because those days are not special and your would-be guests owe you no response, no attention, and no communication. If you expect them to, you are a narcissist. Your kid is not special on his birthday, it would be narcissistic of him to think he is. Got it.

We "took RSVPs" to let out of town guests know about the wedding, but anyone who wanted to come was free to do so. We had a few people show up without RSVPing.

So you don’t do RSVPs for your children’s birthday parties? Yes or no. This is a yes or no question.

What do you mean? We invite people. Sometimes they respond, sometimes they don't, but we don't insist on it.

So you never have to provide a head count to a venue, or get a ballpark head count to order food? Hmm, what kind of parties are these?

I give the headcount of everyone invited. This isn't rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So besides a few people saying they know/heard of a bridezilla complaining they didn't attend their wedding, almost exclusively all the hate on this thread is coming from parents who hate childfree weddings. Nonstop insults, insinuating they are mentally ill or bad people, yikes. It really makes the parents pushing for their children to be included look entitled, petty and rude.

Yep. Pretty much.

100%. They keep lashing out at everyone in these made up scenarios and calling people bridezillas as if most of the people here haven't already been married years. This isn't some retro version of The Knot.

+1. Its pretty obvious the ones married before 2010 are the ones still using the term “bridezilla.”

Someone suggested “gaping narcissist” earlier and I’m good with that. It’s gender neutral too, so also covers grooms.

The narcissists are the angry parents.

Thinking your wedding is a special day all about you is inherently narcissistic. You might think that narcissism is justified, but it's a simple fact that having a party to celebrate yourself where you prioritize what you want is self centered.

Oh, so you didn’t take RSVPs for your wedding, and you don’t take RSVPs for your kids’ birthday parties? Got it. Because those days are not special and your would-be guests owe you no response, no attention, and no communication. If you expect them to, you are a narcissist. Your kid is not special on his birthday, it would be narcissistic of him to think he is. Got it.

We "took RSVPs" to let out of town guests know about the wedding, but anyone who wanted to come was free to do so. We had a few people show up without RSVPing.

So you don’t do RSVPs for your children’s birthday parties? Yes or no. This is a yes or no question.

What do you mean? We invite people. Sometimes they respond, sometimes they don't, but we don't insist on it.

So you never have to provide a head count to a venue, or get a ballpark head count to order food? Hmm, what kind of parties are these?

I give the headcount of everyone invited. This isn't rocket science.

Uh huh. It sounds like either your kids have never had a venue party, or you can’t own up to what a massive hypocrite you are. “Oh uh no I’ve never taken RSVPs ever, because RSVPs make you a narcissist.” Quite the corner you backed yourself into.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So besides a few people saying they know/heard of a bridezilla complaining they didn't attend their wedding, almost exclusively all the hate on this thread is coming from parents who hate childfree weddings. Nonstop insults, insinuating they are mentally ill or bad people, yikes. It really makes the parents pushing for their children to be included look entitled, petty and rude.

Yep. Pretty much.

100%. They keep lashing out at everyone in these made up scenarios and calling people bridezillas as if most of the people here haven't already been married years. This isn't some retro version of The Knot.

+1. Its pretty obvious the ones married before 2010 are the ones still using the term “bridezilla.”

Someone suggested “gaping narcissist” earlier and I’m good with that. It’s gender neutral too, so also covers grooms.

The narcissists are the angry parents.

Thinking your wedding is a special day all about you is inherently narcissistic. You might think that narcissism is justified, but it's a simple fact that having a party to celebrate yourself where you prioritize what you want is self centered.

Oh, so you didn’t take RSVPs for your wedding, and you don’t take RSVPs for your kids’ birthday parties? Got it. Because those days are not special and your would-be guests owe you no response, no attention, and no communication. If you expect them to, you are a narcissist. Your kid is not special on his birthday, it would be narcissistic of him to think he is. Got it.

We "took RSVPs" to let out of town guests know about the wedding, but anyone who wanted to come was free to do so. We had a few people show up without RSVPing.

So you don’t do RSVPs for your children’s birthday parties? Yes or no. This is a yes or no question.

What do you mean? We invite people. Sometimes they respond, sometimes they don't, but we don't insist on it.

So you never have to provide a head count to a venue, or get a ballpark head count to order food? Hmm, what kind of parties are these?

I give the headcount of everyone invited. This isn't rocket science.

Uh huh. It sounds like either your kids have never had a venue party, or you can’t own up to what a massive hypocrite you are. “Oh uh no I’ve never taken RSVPs ever, because RSVPs make you a narcissist.” Quite the corner you backed yourself into.

I never said that. Someone else asked me a bunch of questions about RSVPs and I answered honestly but I never brought them up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So besides a few people saying they know/heard of a bridezilla complaining they didn't attend their wedding, almost exclusively all the hate on this thread is coming from parents who hate childfree weddings. Nonstop insults, insinuating they are mentally ill or bad people, yikes. It really makes the parents pushing for their children to be included look entitled, petty and rude.

Yep. Pretty much.

100%. They keep lashing out at everyone in these made up scenarios and calling people bridezillas as if most of the people here haven't already been married years. This isn't some retro version of The Knot.

+1. Its pretty obvious the ones married before 2010 are the ones still using the term “bridezilla.”

Someone suggested “gaping narcissist” earlier and I’m good with that. It’s gender neutral too, so also covers grooms.

The narcissists are the angry parents.

Thinking your wedding is a special day all about you is inherently narcissistic. You might think that narcissism is justified, but it's a simple fact that having a party to celebrate yourself where you prioritize what you want is self centered.

Oh, so you didn’t take RSVPs for your wedding, and you don’t take RSVPs for your kids’ birthday parties? Got it. Because those days are not special and your would-be guests owe you no response, no attention, and no communication. If you expect them to, you are a narcissist. Your kid is not special on his birthday, it would be narcissistic of him to think he is. Got it.

We "took RSVPs" to let out of town guests know about the wedding, but anyone who wanted to come was free to do so. We had a few people show up without RSVPing.

So you don’t do RSVPs for your children’s birthday parties? Yes or no. This is a yes or no question.

What do you mean? We invite people. Sometimes they respond, sometimes they don't, but we don't insist on it.

So you never have to provide a head count to a venue, or get a ballpark head count to order food? Hmm, what kind of parties are these?

I give the headcount of everyone invited. This isn't rocket science.

Uh huh. It sounds like either your kids have never had a venue party, or you can’t own up to what a massive hypocrite you are. “Oh uh no I’ve never taken RSVPs ever, because RSVPs make you a narcissist.” Quite the corner you backed yourself into.

I never said that. Someone else asked me a bunch of questions about RSVPs and I answered honestly but I never brought them up.

So you don’t know to identify yourself as a “NP” or “DP” on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So besides a few people saying they know/heard of a bridezilla complaining they didn't attend their wedding, almost exclusively all the hate on this thread is coming from parents who hate childfree weddings. Nonstop insults, insinuating they are mentally ill or bad people, yikes. It really makes the parents pushing for their children to be included look entitled, petty and rude.

Yep. Pretty much.

100%. They keep lashing out at everyone in these made up scenarios and calling people bridezillas as if most of the people here haven't already been married years. This isn't some retro version of The Knot.

+1. Its pretty obvious the ones married before 2010 are the ones still using the term “bridezilla.”

Someone suggested “gaping narcissist” earlier and I’m good with that. It’s gender neutral too, so also covers grooms.

The narcissists are the angry parents.

Thinking your wedding is a special day all about you is inherently narcissistic. You might think that narcissism is justified, but it's a simple fact that having a party to celebrate yourself where you prioritize what you want is self centered.

Oh, so you didn’t take RSVPs for your wedding, and you don’t take RSVPs for your kids’ birthday parties? Got it. Because those days are not special and your would-be guests owe you no response, no attention, and no communication. If you expect them to, you are a narcissist. Your kid is not special on his birthday, it would be narcissistic of him to think he is. Got it.

We "took RSVPs" to let out of town guests know about the wedding, but anyone who wanted to come was free to do so. We had a few people show up without RSVPing.

So you don’t do RSVPs for your children’s birthday parties? Yes or no. This is a yes or no question.

What do you mean? We invite people. Sometimes they respond, sometimes they don't, but we don't insist on it.

So you never have to provide a head count to a venue, or get a ballpark head count to order food? Hmm, what kind of parties are these?

I give the headcount of everyone invited. This isn't rocket science.

Uh huh. It sounds like either your kids have never had a venue party, or you can’t own up to what a massive hypocrite you are. “Oh uh no I’ve never taken RSVPs ever, because RSVPs make you a narcissist.” Quite the corner you backed yourself into.

I never said that. Someone else asked me a bunch of questions about RSVPs and I answered honestly but I never brought them up.

So you don’t know to identify yourself as a “NP” or “DP” on DCUM?

No one in this thread has said that taking RSVPs is narcissistic. My first comment was:

Thinking your wedding is a special day all about you is inherently narcissistic. You might think that narcissism is justified, but it's a simple fact that having a party to celebrate yourself where you prioritize what you want is self centered.

Which says nothing about RSVPs and was immediately responded to with questions about RSVPs.

[Anonymous]

I feel like this thread is getting out of control.

* couples have the right to make whatever decisions they want with their own wedding;

* guests (and non-invited non-guests) have the right to react as they see fit; and

* the couple has to be okay with that.

I’m the pp with the nephew situation. Although I was surprised and disappointed with my nephew and his parents, I am comfortable with my response and think maybe the situation revealed some truths in our relationships. My kids and I, and importantly, my husband (nephew is his brother’s son) have no regrets and have moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this thread is getting out of control.

* couples have the right to make whatever decisions they want with their own wedding;

* guests (and non-invited non-guests) have the right to react as they see fit; and

* the couple has to be okay with that.

I’m the pp with the nephew situation. Although I was surprised and disappointed with my nephew and his parents, I am comfortable with my response and think maybe the situation revealed some truths in our relationships. My kids and I, and importantly, my husband (nephew is his brother’s son) have no regrets and have moved on.

I have been posting in support of inviting kids for the family aspect and I agree with all of this. People can decide not to invite kids to their wedding, and invited (and not invited) guests are allowed to have their own feelings about that. Everybody has to live with all of that and move forward accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So besides a few people saying they know/heard of a bridezilla complaining they didn't attend their wedding, almost exclusively all the hate on this thread is coming from parents who hate childfree weddings. Nonstop insults, insinuating they are mentally ill or bad people, yikes. It really makes the parents pushing for their children to be included look entitled, petty and rude.

Yep. Pretty much.

100%. They keep lashing out at everyone in these made up scenarios and calling people bridezillas as if most of the people here haven't already been married years. This isn't some retro version of The Knot.

+1. Its pretty obvious the ones married before 2010 are the ones still using the term “bridezilla.”

Someone suggested “gaping narcissist” earlier and I’m good with that. It’s gender neutral too, so also covers grooms.

The narcissists are the angry parents.

Thinking your wedding is a special day all about you is inherently narcissistic. You might think that narcissism is justified, but it's a simple fact that having a party to celebrate yourself where you prioritize what you want is self centered.

Well, that is literally what a wedding is. It's about a couple joining together for a life together. And shockingly (to only you, not anyone else) is that why yes, it is about the bride and groom and what they envision for their wedding day. When you get married, you also get to choose what you want for your day. Same for everyone else.

This is what YOU think a wedding is. It's not a universal belief, and it's a narcissistic one. It's about ME or US, not the community or the family.

The alternative is perhaps considered old fashioned, but it wasn't that long ago that brides and grooms did effectively no planning for their weddings. Weddings were set by family and local traditions. That's how my wedding was.

Ah, we finally get to the crux of the issue. You had no control over YOUR wedding, so you feel the need to dictate how everyone elses is. It's tragic you had no say for your wedding (hopefully you at least picked the person!), but you really have no say on how others celebrate their marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So besides a few people saying they know/heard of a bridezilla complaining they didn't attend their wedding, almost exclusively all the hate on this thread is coming from parents who hate childfree weddings. Nonstop insults, insinuating they are mentally ill or bad people, yikes. It really makes the parents pushing for their children to be included look entitled, petty and rude.

Yep. Pretty much.

100%. They keep lashing out at everyone in these made up scenarios and calling people bridezillas as if most of the people here haven't already been married years. This isn't some retro version of The Knot.

+1. Its pretty obvious the ones married before 2010 are the ones still using the term “bridezilla.”

Someone suggested “gaping narcissist” earlier and I’m good with that. It’s gender neutral too, so also covers grooms.

The narcissists are the angry parents.

Thinking your wedding is a special day all about you is inherently narcissistic. You might think that narcissism is justified, but it's a simple fact that having a party to celebrate yourself where you prioritize what you want is self centered.

Oh, so you didn’t take RSVPs for your wedding, and you don’t take RSVPs for your kids’ birthday parties? Got it. Because those days are not special and your would-be guests owe you no response, no attention, and no communication. If you expect them to, you are a narcissist. Your kid is not special on his birthday, it would be narcissistic of him to think he is. Got it.

We "took RSVPs" to let out of town guests know about the wedding, but anyone who wanted to come was free to do so. We had a few people show up without RSVPing.

Uh, not everyone gets married in a barn and has room for infinite people. How entitled that you think everyone else should have to pay for anyone that shows up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see both sides.

My dds were actually IN the wedding as flower girls and still weren't allowed to attend the reception. They were older too, well behaved, and super excited for the bride. Mostly they just like all the romantic, princess things. They definitely left the wedding crying. Bride didn't want kids ruining the reception vibe.

+1. Didn't read beyond the first page but this happened to us, too. They wanted DS to be the ring bearer and be in the photos but didn't want him at the reception. They also wanted me to be MOH and host the wedding and engagement showers-- and conveniently left out the "no kids at reception" part until after I'd accepted the role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So besides a few people saying they know/heard of a bridezilla complaining they didn't attend their wedding, almost exclusively all the hate on this thread is coming from parents who hate childfree weddings. Nonstop insults, insinuating they are mentally ill or bad people, yikes. It really makes the parents pushing for their children to be included look entitled, petty and rude.

Yep. Pretty much.

100%. They keep lashing out at everyone in these made up scenarios and calling people bridezillas as if most of the people here haven't already been married years. This isn't some retro version of The Knot.

+1. Its pretty obvious the ones married before 2010 are the ones still using the term “bridezilla.”

Someone suggested “gaping narcissist” earlier and I’m good with that. It’s gender neutral too, so also covers grooms.

The narcissists are the angry parents.

Thinking your wedding is a special day all about you is inherently narcissistic. You might think that narcissism is justified, but it's a simple fact that having a party to celebrate yourself where you prioritize what you want is self centered.

Well, that is literally what a wedding is. It's about a couple joining together for a life together. And shockingly (to only you, not anyone else) is that why yes, it is about the bride and groom and what they envision for their wedding day. When you get married, you also get to choose what you want for your day. Same for everyone else.

This is what YOU think a wedding is. It's not a universal belief, and it's a narcissistic one. It's about ME or US, not the community or the family.

The alternative is perhaps considered old fashioned, but it wasn't that long ago that brides and grooms did effectively no planning for their weddings. Weddings were set by family and local traditions. That's how my wedding was.

yeah and it wasn't "too long ago" that weddings were arranged and dowry's were paid for the women.
Most of us would prefer not to go back to that time.


Hint: You are entitled to your thoughts for your wedding and are free to invite every kid you have ever met if that makes you happy. But you are NOT entitled to define what a wedding is for a society or anyone else. It's not "narcissistic" for a couple getting married to want to plan and have the wedding they want. They typically are the ones paying for it nowadays (and even if they are not paying, it is their wedding, and normal adults/parents do not feel entitled to control their kids)
If you are offended, you are able to respond "no" and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So besides a few people saying they know/heard of a bridezilla complaining they didn't attend their wedding, almost exclusively all the hate on this thread is coming from parents who hate childfree weddings. Nonstop insults, insinuating they are mentally ill or bad people, yikes. It really makes the parents pushing for their children to be included look entitled, petty and rude.

Yep. Pretty much.

100%. They keep lashing out at everyone in these made up scenarios and calling people bridezillas as if most of the people here haven't already been married years. This isn't some retro version of The Knot.

+1. Its pretty obvious the ones married before 2010 are the ones still using the term “bridezilla.”

Someone suggested “gaping narcissist” earlier and I’m good with that. It’s gender neutral too, so also covers grooms.

The narcissists are the angry parents.

Thinking your wedding is a special day all about you is inherently narcissistic. You might think that narcissism is justified, but it's a simple fact that having a party to celebrate yourself where you prioritize what you want is self centered.

Oh, so you didn’t take RSVPs for your wedding, and you don’t take RSVPs for your kids’ birthday parties? Got it. Because those days are not special and your would-be guests owe you no response, no attention, and no communication. If you expect them to, you are a narcissist. Your kid is not special on his birthday, it would be narcissistic of him to think he is. Got it.

We "took RSVPs" to let out of town guests know about the wedding, but anyone who wanted to come was free to do so. We had a few people show up without RSVPing.

So you don’t do RSVPs for your children’s birthday parties? Yes or no. This is a yes or no question.

What do you mean? We invite people. Sometimes they respond, sometimes they don't, but we don't insist on it.

So you never have to provide a head count to a venue, or get a ballpark head count to order food? Hmm, what kind of parties are these?

I give the headcount of everyone invited. This isn't rocket science.

So you just assume everyone is attending? Weddings in our area are $150-200 per person typically. I'm not paying $200/person for 20-30 people who might not actually attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So besides a few people saying they know/heard of a bridezilla complaining they didn't attend their wedding, almost exclusively all the hate on this thread is coming from parents who hate childfree weddings. Nonstop insults, insinuating they are mentally ill or bad people, yikes. It really makes the parents pushing for their children to be included look entitled, petty and rude.

Yep. Pretty much.

100%. They keep lashing out at everyone in these made up scenarios and calling people bridezillas as if most of the people here haven't already been married years. This isn't some retro version of The Knot.

+1. Its pretty obvious the ones married before 2010 are the ones still using the term “bridezilla.”

Someone suggested “gaping narcissist” earlier and I’m good with that. It’s gender neutral too, so also covers grooms.

The narcissists are the angry parents.

Thinking your wedding is a special day all about you is inherently narcissistic. You might think that narcissism is justified, but it's a simple fact that having a party to celebrate yourself where you prioritize what you want is self centered.

Well, that is literally what a wedding is. It's about a couple joining together for a life together. And shockingly (to only you, not anyone else) is that why yes, it is about the bride and groom and what they envision for their wedding day. When you get married, you also get to choose what you want for your day. Same for everyone else.

This is what YOU think a wedding is. It's not a universal belief, and it's a narcissistic one. It's about ME or US, not the community or the family.

The alternative is perhaps considered old fashioned, but it wasn't that long ago that brides and grooms did effectively no planning for their weddings. Weddings were set by family and local traditions. That's how my wedding was.

yeah and it wasn't "too long ago" that weddings were arranged and dowry's were paid for the women.
Most of us would prefer not to go back to that time.


Hint: You are entitled to your thoughts for your wedding and are free to invite every kid you have ever met if that makes you happy. But you are NOT entitled to define what a wedding is for a society or anyone else. It's not "narcissistic" for a couple getting married to want to plan and have the wedding they want. They typically are the ones paying for it nowadays (and even if they are not paying, it is their wedding, and normal adults/parents do not feel entitled to control their kids)
If you are offended, you are able to respond "no" and move on.

The person who sounds offended here is you. I just pointed out that there are other models of what a wedding is and that, of the ones that exist, the "it's my special day" model is the most narcissistic.