A serious question for my fellow Black DCUMers

[Anonymous]

I’m an optimist and tend to seek the bright side of even the most troubling problems. I’m energized when people get together to look for solutions and quickly lose patience with fault finding efforts.

So my question to Black people is especially difficult for me: Do we have problems -- serious, widespread, community-threatening problems -- that can't be fixed? I particularly have in mind the young men (mostly) who may be irredeemable. To be clear, I’m not talking here about mere street toughs or even gang-bangers. I’m specifically focused on youngsters in our community who, I fear, have no inner self to come to, who indiscriminately maim, kill and even die without remorse. These are our children (and not always children) who are missing something at the core of their being, who have no feeling for others and who seem to have no feelings at all except rage. We’re all unfortunately familiar with this, in the DC area alone it’s customary to read about these violent offenders in our local communities.

Of course we know full-well that young Black men are not the only ones who commit these crimes. In fact, we know most Black men never commit any crimes at all. We also know other races have their own deep-seated problems. But I’m asking us about us (White folks, you’re welcome to weigh in, too). What can we do about this problem? The young Black men who seem to plaque our communities without a conscience. Is it pointless to speak of rehabilitating them, when they were never habilitated in the first place?

As I said, I tend to be optimistic and believe there are answers, but I don’t know. I really don’t know.

[Anonymous]

I have my theories, but I will first ask you, OP, what would you guess is the source of the problems? Please mention anything you can think of. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I don’t feel that way at all. Maybe because I have a lot of experience working with low income boys ages 11-14 in some innovative programs and see how they aren’t that different than I was at that age as a poor black kid in Baltimore and I’m a pretty awesome human being today. And they aren’t that different from my DDs raised middle class in terms of having dreams and wanting adults to support them. So I haven’t written them off. TBH, I think any community that starts writing off its youth as unredeemable is doomed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m an optimist and tend to seek the bright side of even the most troubling problems. I’m energized when people get together to look for solutions and quickly lose patience with fault finding efforts.

So my question to Black people is especially difficult for me: Do we have problems -- serious, widespread, community-threatening problems -- that can't be fixed? I particularly have in mind the young men (mostly) who may be irredeemable. To be clear, I’m not talking here about mere street toughs or even gang-bangers. I’m specifically focused on youngsters in our community who, I fear, have no inner self to come to, who indiscriminately maim, kill and even die without remorse. These are our children (and not always children) who are missing something at the core of their being, who have no feeling for others and who seem to have no feelings at all except rage. We’re all unfortunately familiar with this, in the DC area alone it’s customary to read about these violent offenders in our local communities.

Of course we know full-well that young Black men are not the only ones who commit these crimes. In fact, we know most Black men never commit any crimes at all. We also know other races have their own deep-seated problems. But I’m asking us about us (White folks, you’re welcome to weigh in, too). What can we do about this problem? The young Black men who seem to plaque our communities without a conscience. Is it pointless to speak of rehabilitating them, when they were never habilitated in the first place?

As I said, I tend to be optimistic and believe there are answers, but I don’t know. I really don’t know.

Can you elaborate on that? Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Privileged white mom of a white boy with "externalized" behavior issues (as they are called). AKA he is physically aggressive, even violent, with other kids. Going through this experience has been eye opening. It's tremendously clear that stress, parenting coaching, schooling, and psychological care play a HUGE HUGE role in treating the issue that underlies his aggression. A kid who does not have access to all of that - which takes MONEY and PRIVILEGE -- plus has the added stress of growing up poor, with parents who are also stressed by poverty -- would grow up to be the kids you say have "no feeling but rage."

I have no easy answers for how to address the violence, but I am also 1000000%%% sure that the violence is directly related to inablity to access resources.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t feel that way at all. Maybe because I have a lot of experience working with low income boys ages 11-14 in some innovative programs and see how they aren’t that different than I was at that age as a poor black kid in Baltimore and I’m a pretty awesome human being today. And they aren’t that different from my DDs raised middle class in terms of having dreams and wanting adults to support them. So I haven’t written them off. TBH, I think any community that starts writing off its youth as unredeemable is doomed.

I sit squeezed up close to this poster right here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an optimist and tend to seek the bright side of even the most troubling problems. I’m energized when people get together to look for solutions and quickly lose patience with fault finding efforts.

So my question to Black people is especially difficult for me: Do we have problems -- serious, widespread, community-threatening problems -- that can't be fixed? I particularly have in mind the young men (mostly) who may be irredeemable. To be clear, I’m not talking here about mere street toughs or even gang-bangers. I’m specifically focused on youngsters in our community who, I fear, have no inner self to come to, who indiscriminately maim, kill and even die without remorse. These are our children (and not always children) who are missing something at the core of their being, who have no feeling for others and who seem to have no feelings at all except rage. We’re all unfortunately familiar with this, in the DC area alone it’s customary to read about these violent offenders in our local communities.

Of course we know full-well that young Black men are not the only ones who commit these crimes. In fact, we know most Black men never commit any crimes at all. We also know other races have their own deep-seated problems. But I’m asking us about us (White folks, you’re welcome to weigh in, too). What can we do about this problem? The young Black men who seem to plaque our communities without a conscience. Is it pointless to speak of rehabilitating them, when they were never habilitated in the first place?

As I said, I tend to be optimistic and believe there are answers, but I don’t know. I really don’t know.

Can you elaborate on that? Thank you.

huh? do you think all black men are criminals? even at our currently horrific and unfair levels of incarceration, only 15% of black men have been incarcerated.

https://www.jacobinmag.com/2017/11/mass-incarceration-statistics-united-states

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Privileged white mom of a white boy with "externalized" behavior issues (as they are called). AKA he is physically aggressive, even violent, with other kids. Going through this experience has been eye opening. It's tremendously clear that stress, parenting coaching, schooling, and psychological care play a HUGE HUGE role in treating the issue that underlies his aggression. A kid who does not have access to all of that - which takes MONEY and PRIVILEGE -- plus has the added stress of growing up poor, with parents who are also stressed by poverty -- would grow up to be the kids you say have "no feeling but rage."

I have no easy answers for how to address the violence, but I am also 1000000%%% sure that the violence is directly related to inablity to access resources.

oh I forgot to say that I do have one easy answer (that is of course difficult politically): NO GUNS. My son, responsive as he is to treatment, should never ever ever ever have access to a firearm. the easy availability of guns is what lets young men shoot people. pretty simple.

[Anonymous]

I agree with above PP. Guns exacerbate the problem. In my opinion though and some people may disagree with me, I think part of the problem is when boys lack a positive father figure or male role model.

[Anonymous]

If people are willing to open up a bit to a brilliant centrist, Dr. Loury and his guests explore these issues in depth on bloggingheads. There was an especially memorable episode/podcast with some gentlemen from Baltimore who are trying to make a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have my theories, but I will first ask you, OP, what would you guess is the source of the problems? Please mention anything you can think of. Thank you.

OP here.

History (and we know the specifics, here) plays a significant role. The erosion of the core family unit is also a logical part of the explanation. Both of these sources are chock-full of potential causes.

Interested in hearing your theories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have my theories, but I will first ask you, OP, what would you guess is the source of the problems? Please mention anything you can think of. Thank you.

OP here.

History (and we know the specifics, here) plays a significant role. The erosion of the core family unit is also a logical part of the explanation. Both of these sources are chock-full of potential causes.

Interested in hearing your theories.

NP here. No, you posed a bunch of questions. You don’t get to just stand on the balcony and have others take the risk by putting their thinking out there. Answer your own questions. Posit your own theories.

[Anonymous]

Hard pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t feel that way at all. Maybe because I have a lot of experience working with low income boys ages 11-14 in some innovative programs and see how they aren’t that different than I was at that age as a poor black kid in Baltimore and I’m a pretty awesome human being today. And they aren’t that different from my DDs raised middle class in terms of having dreams and wanting adults to support them. So I haven’t written them off. TBH, I think any community that starts writing off its youth as unredeemable is doomed.

OP here.

I really admire you for the work you provide to our children and communities. It sounds like you are truly an organic leader. I, too, grew up in poverty and while such programs were not available to me, I understand there healing power. There's a lot we still need to learn about cases like yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have my theories, but I will first ask you, OP, what would you guess is the source of the problems? Please mention anything you can think of. Thank you.

OP here.

History (and we know the specifics, here) plays a significant role. The erosion of the core family unit is also a logical part of the explanation. Both of these sources are chock-full of potential causes.

Interested in hearing your theories.

NP here. No, you posed a bunch of questions. You don’t get to just stand on the balcony and have others take the risk by putting their thinking out there. Answer your own questions. Posit your own theories.

OP, here. You're correct, I posed a few questions in hopes of hearing thoughtful responses. I recognize these are difficult questions, but I thought anonymous nature of this forum would mitigate the feelings of risks.

In seeking solution-based responses, I was trying to be succinct in my answer about the sources of the problem, above.