suspecion of husband buying teen girls stuff

[Anonymous]

I am not sure what to think. We have two girls, 18 and 20and the youngest is now moving out to college. I recently discovered likely my husband is buying young teen stuff and keeping it in our basement. Eg. in old back packs, he keeps old hair bands, sunglasses, girly dresses, teeny tops, girly waterbottoes unused diary books and stuff. Some even still have labels from thrift stores. The thing is all these things seem used. Ie. there are no new brand new stuff in his stash. Some are stuff i thought i threw out when clearing my daughters room. I confronted him and he said ooh i dont even know why they are there. Should i trash them all? I pretty much suspect him but i really dont think they belong to my daughters! (They said they had have never seen it before pr they thought they too also threw away and have never seen it in years)

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to lie. That's creepy. What's your suspicion, OP? I'm sure you have one after being married this long. Grooming girls? Dress-up fetish of his own? Mastubatory aids?

[Anonymous]

So has he been keeping his daughters' things instead of throwing them away, or is he buying thrift store items now, or both? The former could be construed as sentimental, albeit a little weird since he didn't tell you, and the latter is just weird.

[Anonymous]

OP here. All three spot on to be honest. Should i trash it and see what else comes back. But it could divert it somewhere else. He was also prviously suggesting my daughters leave their room as they are even though they were keen to pack up. He says they are aleays welcome to come back but i on the other hand happy for them to cart off and clear their junk!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So has he been keeping his daughters' things instead of throwing them away, or is he buying thrift store items now, or both? The former could be construed as sentimental, albeit a little weird since he didn't tell you, and the latter is just weird.

I think both. Its a susecion really since i have no concrete proof but i cant explain any other way how it got into myhouse. And somethings are just not my daughters taste. Like pink teen sunglasses. 5 of them. Both my girls find pink too girly in their teen days... etc

[Anonymous]

Well, I think you should tell him you know he's been keeping the stuff there, and you wish to know what he needs these for.

[Anonymous]

This is really worrisome. Does he have physical access to young teen girls? Does he seem to be mailing things a lot?

The man who sexually abused me ages 8-14 started with small gifts.

[Anonymous]

I think your rooky mistake was confronting him in the first place. A better route would have been to dump everything and see what happens. But..that ship has sailed. Now you need to--in a non confrontational way--find out what's up with the stash. See if you can find out his browser history, credit card statements etc. I'd still be under the radar about the sleuthing but definitely open a conversation since you went down that road already.

It's also possible that the stuff didn't get tossed like you thought--so be open to that. Your kids might have cleaned their room, didn't put the stuff on the porch or whatever, dad came by and didn't know what it was and tossed it in the basement. You don't know FOR SURE at this point, so be open to it being an honest mistake.

[Anonymous]

Jesus OP this is creepy AF. You need a real forensics search of his computer and hack into his phone. He is doing something very inappropriate and stop convincing yourself otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus OP this is creepy AF. You need a real forensics search of his computer and hack into his phone. He is doing something very inappropriate and stop convincing yourself otherwise.

Or it’s stuff his kids forgot about. Why is that not reasonable?

When you see hoof prints why do you jump to zebras?

[Anonymous]

early onset Alzheimers

(I read the book We Are Not Outselves

)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus OP this is creepy AF. You need a real forensics search of his computer and hack into his phone. He is doing something very inappropriate and stop convincing yourself otherwise.

Or it’s stuff his kids forgot about. Why is that not reasonable?

When you see hoof prints why do you jump to zebras?

It’s not reasonable because OP said some of the stuff was not their DD’s taste.

[Anonymous]

He’s a gym coach.

[Anonymous]

Do you have ANY notion how long stuff has been there? Months? 2 years? 10 years?

I've had the experience of coming across stuff in storage areas of my house that I had no recollection of, or that sort of looked familiar but might have been someone else's stuff. There was actual a box with a reel-to-reel tape recorder from the 70s--not a cassette recorder, I think it was a Sony. I thought it belonged to a friend we stored some stuff for and who we lost contact with for some years. When we made contact again I mentioned it and he said it was not his. Maybe he forgot he owned it. Regardless, nobody ever had any idea where it came from and it was in a particular spot surrounded by stuff of mine.

[Anonymous]

My kids are still young but we get given crap all the time.

You have two teenage girls. Why would you think it is your husband and not your daughters’ things?