If 1st yr grades were subpar, unreasonable to demand DC live on campus 2nd yr?
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Anonymous
On campus housing is only required freshman year. DC claims “NOBODY” lives on campus after freshman yr. 
Are we being unreasonable to demand DC live in a dorm again? I worry there’s a zero pc chance grades improve living a mile walk from classes and the libraries. Any other parents encounter similar situation? Please advise. Also rubs us the wrong way DC ignored all the on campus housing deadlines to force her move off campus. |
Anonymous
| Define “subpar” grades: what is her gpa right now? |
Anonymous
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It would probably have been better for her to discuss living off campus with you, but punishing her by making her live in a dorm seems weird to me.
I'd think you'd be more effective if you told her you had higher expectations, that for the tuition you expect XX grades except if there are extraordinary circumstances. If she fails to meet that bar by the end of next year, you won't pay for her to return. Practically speaking, if she missed all the deadlines, how exactly can you force her to live in a dorm? |
Anonymous
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I don't think there's a thing you can do about this now. At least at my son's school, campus housing for sophomores was done in November.
She is wrong about "nobody" living on campus. The rooms go. What is true is that nobody in her circle lives on campus. My kid will be living on campus as a sophomore. That's what his gang chose to do. |
Anonymous
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If his grades were subpar when living in the dorms, why would living in the dorms a second year be the solution?
Instead of making rules for your adult child, you need to discuss with him what he thinks about his grades and what he thinks he should do differently. |
Anonymous
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Some people do better off campus. Depending on the living situation, it could be easier to study out of the dorms.
That being said, if attending class or spending enough time studying is the problem, I would address that directly and not indirectly through the living situation. Yes, if you are investing a lot of money in her education, you can have a conversation, one adult to another, about whether that money is a good investment. |
Anonymous
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Why were her grades low?
I don’t see why you think living in dorms would be better for her grades. I might think the opposite, depending on what her off-campus accommodations turn out to be |
Anonymous
If she got subpar grades while living int he dorm freshman year, why do you think staying in the dorm would change things? |
Anonymous
| I had terrible 1st year grades, while living in a dorm. I found living in a dorm torturous - loud, distracting, overwhelming. I moved into a group house Sophomore year and my grades improved every year beyond. I had my own bedroom, a kitchen to cook in, a little space between the intensity of campus and my own home. I had a sense of HOME living in a shared apartment that I never had in a dorm, and for me that was important. So, I don't think that linking grades to living situation is necessarily valid. |
Anonymous
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We need even more than a definition of subpar grades. It would be good to know why grades were subpar?
If DC managed to get into a competitive school with 25th%ile stats then maybe subpar grades, aren't. If DC got in with 75th%ile stats but really didn't get over not attending their "dream school" until midway through the 2nd semester... If DC had never been away from home before and had a horrible fall, grade wise but seemed to start to turn things around in the spring... If DC was forced into lots of tutoring in HS but has managed the subpar grades on their own... Without further information, I think the best plan, IN JULY, is a contract with DC that says something like "You can live off campus this year but if you don't get a X.X GPA then you have to move back on campus as a junior." I would suggest that X.X should not be more than 0.5 GPA points higher than "subpar" even if you think DC should be able to get a 4.0. |
Anonymous
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My DC has been Dean's list since 2nd semester and also maxes out PT work hours. We are paying tuition to help DC graduate without debt. Grades = the Mom and Dad Full Ride Scholarship. Partying one does on one's own dime. The job is DC's choice to allow for "fun money" and extras as well as some savings.
DC lived on campus 2 years and off campus last year and will be off campus this year. DC was not at the top of HS class but has very strong work ethic and good time management skills. Not sure housing is the answer to grades, college students are accountable to themselves. Parent funding is an earned privilege after 18. |
Anonymous
| Yes, as the parent paying for it you tell them where they are living. You tell them they will live on campus and their grades will be B's or better or they will need to pay for it themselves. If they cannot maintain B's they need to change their major. |
Anonymous
They are accountable to their parents as well. |
Anonymous
| Op, you didn’t post the most important information. Why did she do poorly? Without knowing that, I don’t know where she lives matter. |
Anonymous
Nor do we have any sense of what “subpar” means to OP. There’s a huge difference between getting a 3.0 and a 1.8. |