Class and cultural differences with nanny

[Anonymous]

Our nanny is a legal immigrant who came to the US a few years ago and speaks no English.

I try to be an ally to her in navigating various aspects of life in the US and helping her solve problems.

I’m getting extremely fed up though, because I help her but then she makes bad/irresponsible decisions. It is maddening.

Examples:

1. I helped her sign up for health insurance via the exchange. We registered her but she needed to mail in a supporting document. I gave her the letter in Spanish, told her what she had to send in. She didn’t and her insurance got cancelled. Then she comes to me asking how she fixes it, months later. This is after I spent hours getting her signed up in the first place!

2. I helped her buy a car (went to dealership to translate/negotiate, and gave her an advance to help buy the car). Told her about registering car. We even were out of town for 3 business Days when the registration was due. She “forgot”. Now she’s asking for time off to register the car and asking me what happens since it’s so late.

3. She goes to the ER for every ailment. I have told her, REPEATEDLY not to do that. She brings me a $3k Bill from the last visit, hysterical. I told her yes, I’ve explained this-it’s very expensive in the US to go to the ER. It’s for emergencies. Not back pain. She asked me how she can pay less. I even printed out the forms for her to request a reduction. I don’t know if she turned them in but she then went to the ER again a month later for a headache.

Other than just backing away, and not being her “helper” anymore, how do I deal with my frustration?

[Anonymous]

Are you communicating with her in Spanish? I honestly find it bizarre that you tell her clearly what to do and she simply doesn't do it. If she's an amazing nanny, I guess I'd give her the time off needed to address the registration, but back off advising her in any other capacity.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you need a new nanny OP.

[Anonymous]

Why did you hire her? How old is your kid? What will happen in an emergency? My previous nanny was also an immigrant and not with great English (not Spanish speaking) but she was a very competent and responsible person. Managed all her business, signed a contract with us. Paid taxes, purchased a house while employed with us. Etc.
a nanny has to be very responsible, reliable and aware in addition to all the other childcare specific qualifications.

[Anonymous]

How is this a class or cultural difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is this a class or cultural difference?

They aren’t. The nanny is a hot mess. It’s worrisome that OP thinks this is typical behavior for working class Latinos.

[Anonymous]

This isn’t a class or culture thing.

Also how can you trust someone like this with your child?

[Anonymous]

I think OP is referring to the practice of some people using the ER as their GP. OP, this is not good practice for anyone. If the nanny is too dense to understand that, you probably don't want to trust her judgment (or have her as your nanny).

[Anonymous]

Does her name start with "R"? I may have the same person working for me and I am thinking of letting her go now.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you think this is a class or cultural issue, you like in a dangerous bubble. You need to meet more people who aren’t middle class Anglos.

[Anonymous]

Live not like.

[Anonymous]

You are way, WAY too involved in her personal life. She just speaks Spanish. Surely, at all these places, and websites, she can find spanish speakers and spanish translations.

Personally, I think this woman sounds like a hot mess and you sound ... I have no good adjective for you ... for being so intertwined in her personal business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you communicating with her in Spanish? I honestly find it bizarre that you tell her clearly what to do and she simply doesn't do it. If she's an amazing nanny, I guess I'd give her the time off needed to address the registration, but back off advising her in any other capacity.

Op here. Yes. I speak fluent Spanish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you think this is a class or cultural issue, you like in a dangerous bubble. You need to meet more people who aren’t middle class Anglos.

Op here. I guess I thought this was a class/cultural thing. She just doesn’t seem to get how things work in the US, and she struggles to learn.

I’ve had the benefit of decades of living here, and so did my parents, etc.

I don’t think she grasps things like health insurance, or car registration. Her home country has nationalized health care.

[Anonymous]

She has big issues and can’t be trusted to follow simple instructions. I’d let her go.

Oh and people saying this is a class issue, it is. I know tons of poor people who go to the ER for sore throats, hurt backs, etc. I wish they were turned away. In my dream hospital there would be an urgent care next to it that they send people to. Or force them to go to a regular doctor