Happily married with a crush on neighbor
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Anonymous
| It’s been a while since I’ve had a crush. Been happily married for 10 yrs but I’ve recently felt a strong attraction to my neighbor and husband of a friend. Our boys play together a lot and we hang out socially. I have no idea if he feels anything toward me but it feels like there is this unspoken chemistry between us. Maybe I should just enjoy the fantasy (I would never act on it) but it’s feeling more intense and preoccupying, especially when we all hang out. Anyone else navigate this before? |
Anonymous
| All the time. Just enjoy the fantasy. Enjoy that he's probably having it, too. But is he worth blowing up numerous lives over? Probably not. That's what I tell myself. |
Anonymous
| I get crushes but you would never know by how I act. I have the world's best husband, and it really is just symptoms of a horny, wandering mind. I just imagine they have a small penis and dirty underpants and it kills it if I need to move on mentally. |
Anonymous
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We are human. Don’t be alone with him. And, his wife can ‘feel the chemistry’ too.
Everyone can be an adult about this- just act with strict rules. Don’t be alone, don’t solo text, don’t think his wife is an idiot. |
Anonymous
| If it's a neighbor then its very possible he's your soulmate. You know what to do |
Anonymous
This is good advice ! |
Anonymous
| I get skeptical when I read "(I would never act on it)" because it strikes me as disingenuous. You are THRILLED by the feelings you have ... yet you think you won't act on it (even in a small way?). |
Anonymous
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Man here, I have them all the time, sometimes just sexual, sometimes more. I can tell you that he almost for sure has the same for you, at least sexually.
You can easily enjoy it without it becoming more as long as you dont: 1) start texting with him, and/or 2) be alone with him with alcohol involved. I speak from experience when I tell you it can get really messy in first a good then a really bad way if you let it progress to either of these. Enjoy |
Anonymous
| Meh. We have a new ceo and I totally have a crush on him. I love my husband and my life and don't want another. But it's nice to have a totally unrealistic crush for a little bit. No acting on it, no flirting or texting etc. it'll dissipate eventually. I picture him picking his nose or something. |
Anonymous
OP here- I appreciate this male perspective. It turns me on to imagine he is feeling it for me too. |
Anonymous
OP here- This is totally fair. I guess I want to believe I would never act on it by being sexual in some way with him. But you are right- in small ways - I notice myself thinking about what I’m wearing more when I know I’ll see him, smiling more with him, offering to pick the kids up there when I think I may see him.... so yes, I have acted already. Thanks for pointing it out. |
Anonymous
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Yes, of course throughout your life you will be attracted to others.
What is up with you that you don't know that? Did you marry your first love? Are you super young? Relax, don't act on it. FFS, is this really a question? |
Anonymous
| Of course. Crushes are fun! Just enjoy the pleasant sensation of butterflies in your stomach again. They fade after a while so enjoy it while it lasts. |
Anonymous
| Close your eyes and think of him going down on you... You’ll be fine. |
Anonymous
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My husband is a halfway public figure. The younger woman never reveal a crush... but older ladies sometimes tell him how cute he is! It’s very awkward.
He is so grossed out by the idea of someone who barely knows him crushing on him. It’s flattering and funny. But, yeah, they don’t know him really. And it doesn’t feel nice to be superficially attractive to others. You don’t really know the neighbor. I’m sure he does gross stuff and/or has super annoying habits. Just recognize that and keep distance |