Short vent about straight people trying to be nice

[Anonymous]

Married lesbian here. I am so tired of well-intentioned people who discover I’m a lesbian and want to tell me about the one lesbian they know, or about the movie that they saw 10 years ago that had a lesbian in it.

Both things happened yet again this evening, at a professional networking event where all of the attendees have advanced degrees (so no claims or being unsophisticated in the usual sense). It comes up when people start talking about kids and spouses and I mention my own wife. My sexual orientation is otherwise irrelevant to my work life but I’m not willing to pretend I’m straight or stay silent when everyone else is talking about their families.

Rather than telling me about that one lesbian they know or the one movie they’ve seen, I wish that people would (1) ask about my wife just like they’d ask about anyone’s else’s wife (profession, hobbies, etc) or (2) say nothing at all.

Bizarrely, the most repetitive comments come from straight women. Guys almost always keep rolling and say they have a wife too, or else say nothing at all.

No need to criticize, this is just my complaint to the universe!

[Anonymous]

People are strange.

[Anonymous]

Lmao how old are these people?! I’m a lesbian too, but maybe I associate with younger people? They literally don’t bat an eye. Never been told about the one lesbian they knew or the one lesbian movie they saw lol hilarious

[Anonymous]

Where in the world did this happen? Not in DC?

There are too many LGBTQ people here for this to be like this anymore. Everyone accepts everyone as far as I have experienced and I have lived here for a very long time.

Sorry if people made you uncomfortable, OP but you really should pay them no mind - their comments are reflective of their awkward selves rather than you.

I come from a town which is perceived as small but is not and anytime someone asks where I am from they say "do you know so and so?" And I am like - mmmm . . . it's a city of 450K people. So no?

Keep on keeping on, OP and don't think about this silly stuff. I'll come back tomorrow with some witty retorts for you to use incase this happens again!

[Anonymous]

Yeah- you just can’t win. Say nothing- your silently judging. Say something- you are over generalizing/patronizing. Socializing is impossible these days. Folks have a
Narrow idea of what is acceptable these days- & anything else is offensive. We all need to stop taking ourselves so seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah- you just can’t win. Say nothing- your silently judging. Say something- you are over generalizing/patronizing. Socializing is impossible these days. Folks have a
Narrow idea of what is acceptable these days- & anything else is offensive. We all need to stop taking ourselves so seriously.

And the folks who repeatedly deliver these tiresome lectures about how everyone else is so easily offended take themselves the most seriously of all.

[Anonymous]

Same thing happens to me when I tell people we are UU. I think it is a way for people to try to connect.

[Anonymous]

Immediately ask what is their middle name and start telling them a story about this one person that you knew that
had the same name, use the same tone and similar facts

[Anonymous]

I am sorry OP for my fellow awkward straight people. It’s awful that this is happening.

[Anonymous]

Gay Mom here too. This happens in other situations too. I am from a European country and as soon as I open my mouth people feel the need to tell me how they spent a semester there in College, lived there for a year or have some random family member there. I don't care but I know they are just trying to be friendly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gay Mom here too. This happens in other situations too. I am from a European country and as soon as I open my mouth people feel the need to tell me how they spent a semester there in College, lived there for a year or have some random family member there. I don't care but I know they are just trying to be friendly.

It’s just small talk and perhaps they are trying to connect. I don’t see what is wrong with this. If you don’t care, why even talk to people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gay Mom here too. This happens in other situations too. I am from a European country and as soon as I open my mouth people feel the need to tell me how they spent a semester there in College, lived there for a year or have some random family member there. I don't care but I know they are just trying to be friendly.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gay Mom here too. This happens in other situations too. I am from a European country and as soon as I open my mouth people feel the need to tell me how they spent a semester there in College, lived there for a year or have some random family member there. I don't care but I know they are just trying to be friendly.

It’s just small talk and perhaps they are trying to connect. I don’t see what is wrong with this. If you don’t care, why even talk to people?

+1

Next time I meet someone who is from the country where my DH is from (a county I know well and visit often)...am I not supposed to note that we're familiar with and love that country? That's now an annoying way to make small talk and try to connect?

I understand, to a degree, because we find it funny that some people seem to think we would know individuals they know in that country. But it's more amusing than irritating.

I know, it's not on a par with OP's original issue. Just seems like one of the more natural topics for starting to connect with someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gay Mom here too. This happens in other situations too. I am from a European country and as soon as I open my mouth people feel the need to tell me how they spent a semester there in College, lived there for a year or have some random family member there. I don't care but I know they are just trying to be friendly.

It’s just small talk and perhaps they are trying to connect. I don’t see what is wrong with this. If you don’t care, why even talk to people?

+1

Next time I meet someone who is from the country where my DH is from (a county I know well and visit often)...am I not supposed to note that we're familiar with and love that country? That's now an annoying way to make small talk and try to connect?

I understand, to a degree, because we find it funny that some people seem to think we would know individuals they know in that country. But it's more amusing than irritating.

I know, it's not on a par with OP's original issue. Just seems like one of 0the more natural topics for starting to connect with someone.

OMG, I would assume folks don't know each other, but my neighborhood is so active, they often do! Then I feel silly I didn't assume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same thing happens to me when I tell people we are UU. I think it is a way for people to try to connect.

Unitarian Universalist?