Access to kids, why do you feel entitled?

[Anonymous]

There are so many posts about grandparents demanding access, expecting unreasonable access, or getting competitive over access to kids. Sometimes its other relatives as well. I do not understand this. Why on earth do you feel entitled to someone else's children? Kids are not objects or a prize. You clearly are not the parent.

I'm curious why this is so pervasive.

[Anonymous]

I wish our families were like this. You are very fortunate to have this problem.

[Anonymous]

Sweet. Can we also counter this with all the people who withhold their kids as punishment, or with those who move across th country, then complain that they don’t get any help, although their parents “can afford” to travel and “have time” because they’re retired?

Why do you feel entitled to someone else’s time and money?

[Anonymous]

I am a mom of young kids (4 and 1) and I think grandparents have every right to expect a relationship and time with their grandchildren. As a parent, you can ofcourse deny them that - but absent a legitimate reason (abusive, mean or dangerous behavior), grandparents are also a child's family and can expect to have a relationship with their grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Babies and children are a joy for the whole family

You sound like a miserable person to be related to OP

[Anonymous]

I'm the aunt. And I feel entitled because my brother complains about his daughter having so little family. Well, knock knock! I'm here, and I'm reaching out, and you're always too busy for me to spend time with her.

So I'll keep asking. And when she's older and can read, I will send my niece letters that include "I hope we can get together this month - ask Daddy to call me!" to prompt her to ask to play with me.

[Anonymous]

I wish someone would take my kids and give me a break for free. I swear, the stuff people complain about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are so many posts about grandparents demanding access, expecting unreasonable access, or getting competitive over access to kids. Sometimes its other relatives as well. I do not understand this. Why on earth do you feel entitled to someone else's children? Kids are not objects or a prize. You clearly are not the parent.

I'm curious why this is so pervasive.

And yet, so often people like you use your control over them to deny them to others you don’t like, instead of recognizing that kids are lucky to have more people who love them.

[Anonymous]

I'm the aunt. And I feel entitled because my brother complains about his daughter having so little family. Well, knock knock! I'm here, and I'm reaching out, and you're always too busy for me to spend time with her.

So I'll keep asking. And when she's older and can read, I will send my niece letters that include "I hope we can get together this month - ask Daddy to call me!" to prompt her to ask to play with me.

OK so this is crossing boundaries. If the Dad has been saying no, it is not appropriate for you to go around to the kid directly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the aunt. And I feel entitled because my brother complains about his daughter having so little family. Well, knock knock! I'm here, and I'm reaching out, and you're always too busy for me to spend time with her.

So I'll keep asking. And when she's older and can read, I will send my niece letters that include "I hope we can get together this month - ask Daddy to call me!" to prompt her to ask to play with me.

Ok creepy. Sounds like your brother doesn’t like you or doesn’t trust you with the kid. The fact that you would even think of writing that letter to a child is a red flag

[Anonymous]

And yet, so often people like you use your control over them to deny them to others you don’t like, instead of recognizing that kids are lucky to have more people who love them.

I don't know any parents who will leave their kids with people who they don't like or don't trust. Its strange to expect that someone would hand over their kid to someone they didn't like.

Plus if the parents don't like you, why do you think that the kid is going to like you? People like these always assume that the kids want to be with them but its just the mean parents denying access. More often than not, the kids don't want the relationship either or don't like you.

I also think that people who see this as control are simply angry that they aren't getting what they want. Its not your kid, back off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm the aunt. And I feel entitled because my brother complains about his daughter having so little family. Well, knock knock! I'm here, and I'm reaching out, and you're always too busy for me to spend time with her.

So I'll keep asking. And when she's older and can read, I will send my niece letters that include "I hope we can get together this month - ask Daddy to call me!" to prompt her to ask to play with me.

OK so this is crossing boundaries. If the Dad has been saying no, it is not appropriate for you to go around to the kid directly.

Then he should stop bitching to me about not having any local family. We are biological brother and sister who grew up in the same household, and we live 20 minutes apart. I couldn't be more local or more family if I tried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm the aunt. And I feel entitled because my brother complains about his daughter having so little family. Well, knock knock! I'm here, and I'm reaching out, and you're always too busy for me to spend time with her.

So I'll keep asking. And when she's older and can read, I will send my niece letters that include "I hope we can get together this month - ask Daddy to call me!" to prompt her to ask to play with me.

OK so this is crossing boundaries. If the Dad has been saying no, it is not appropriate for you to go around to the kid directly.

This, please don't do that. Maybe there is a reason they don't want to see you or they are just being obnoxious but don't put the child in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom of young kids (4 and 1) and I think grandparents have every right to expect a relationship and time with their grandchildren. As a parent, you can ofcourse deny them that - but absent a legitimate reason (abusive, mean or dangerous behavior), grandparents are also a child's family and can expect to have a relationship with their grandchildren.

+1. I have three young kids and don’t view them as my property with regard to the grandparents, safety and abuse excluded. My times with my own grandparents were highlights of my life. I adored them and am so glad my parents fostered my relationships with them.

[Anonymous]

I’m an aunt and I have my own kids. This is a strange post. Just because you want to see your nieces and nephews and grandchildren doesn’t make you entitled. It’s pretty generous. And if you’re the kid whose grandparents, aunts and uncles spend time with you and take you places, you’re pretty lucky.

Also, if those relationships are cultivated and something happens to you, your kids then have other trusted adults in their lives to help them and support them.

No child can ever have too many people that love them.