DCUM, please give me strength to cut this guy off

[Anonymous]

I know I need to do it, but it is so difficult. He’s been in my life forever and I am in love with him, but it will never go anywhere. I’m not open to anyone else because I am still entertaining a pipe dream that it will become something more. Help!

[Anonymous]

Did you tell him you love him? Does he know? Do you think he loves you?

[Anonymous]

In what way are you cutting him off? What is he getting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell him you love him? Does he know? Do you think he loves you?

We are dating and we love each other, openly. Last night when I said I wanted to confirm that this is as far as it will go between us, he said “you never know, it keeps evolving [between us],” which I took to mean as ‘I don’t want to give you what you want but I don’t want you out of my life.’ I just don’t want to waste any more of my time, and I know ending it will only be harder as time goes on.

[Anonymous]

It will not become anything more. If it was going to, then it would have already happened. Cut off all contact. Block him on your phone and on social media. This will be difficult, but you can do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In what way are you cutting him off? What is he getting?

We are, for all intents and purposes, boyfriend and girlfriend, but he doesn’t want a label. I would like to know there’s a future, or at least the possibility of one.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? Are there kids involved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will not become anything more. If it was going to, then it would have already happened. Cut off all contact. Block him on your phone and on social media. This will be difficult, but you can do it.

Exactly. Men don't wait to put a ring on it when they find the one. You are a filler girlfriend who is great to hang out with and have sex with. He does not see you as the mother of his future children. His answer was very clear...if he does not find any one else, he does not mind having you as a backup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Are there kids involved?

Early thirties. No kids.

[Anonymous]

The strength in you depends on the amount of self respect you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Are there kids involved?

Early thirties. No kids.

OMG...run, run, run away from him. You do not have time to waste.

[Anonymous]

Well this is what I did. Worked but I'm sure it's not the best way to go about it.

Step 1. Had my best friend come over and got decently tipsy then sent an email saying it was over, why, and that for my own mental health I was blocking him

Step 2. Blocked him/deleted him on all accounts

Step 3. Joined a dating website to at least occupy myself/keep my mind off of him

Step 4. Had some fun dating around. About 6 months later I met DH.

[Anonymous]

He is married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell him you love him? Does he know? Do you think he loves you?

We are dating and we love each other, openly. Last night when I said I wanted to confirm that this is as far as it will go between us, he said “you never know, it keeps evolving [between us],” which I took to mean as ‘I don’t want to give you what you want but I don’t want you out of my life.’ I just don’t want to waste any more of my time, and I know ending it will only be harder as time goes on.

Instead of constantly wishing for something "more", why can't you just enjoy what you have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Are there kids involved?

Early thirties. No kids.

Get out. It doesn't matter whether you love him if he is unwilling or unable to meet your needs. If you want a committed future together and he won't provide that, then move on. Do not waste another day on him.