DCUM, please give me strength to cut this guy off
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
After a year, there ought to be a ring on your finger, not a guy reluctant to put an utterly noncommittal label on it. Pull back and look for other options. You are in your thirties. You have no time to waste. Please understand he's not a bad person, he's not using you, he's not a jerk, he's not anything. He's doing what's best for him. You have to do what's best for you. Thank him for the good time you had, and move on. |
Anonymous
| Find someone better. Someone who wants to be with you. Have some self respect OP! |
Anonymous
| He's treating you like shit. You deserve a man who will let you know in no uncertain terms that he loves you and wants to be with you. |
Anonymous
|
If you stay with him instead of pursuing others, you will regret it in time. You don’t gave time to waste on this guy. Tell him how you feel and what you want — don’t pretend to be okay with how things stand. He will likely pull away, and then you will have your answer and can move on without regrets.
Once you are unavailable to him he’ll chase you, because he’s a cliche. He might even offer you everything you want. But he’ll always pull away. Cut contact and be “the one who got away.” BTDT. Like I said, guys like this are pretty predictable. Right now he has all of the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. Who gets the short end of the stick? You. I couldn’t love a man who would be okay with treating me so poorly. |
Anonymous
| Tell him how you feel and what you want. Be honest and see what happens. That will give you the answer you’re looking for. |
Anonymous
He is already telling you that he doesn't want the label of boyfriend and girlfriend. He is telling you straight up there is no future, but you are not hearing him. You keep asking the same question in different ways, hoping you will get a different answer that you like better. This guy doesn't even care enough about you to be honest and straight-forward about his own intents and desires. Is that really what you want? Why are you in love with a guy who isn't in love with you enough to call you his girlfriend? |
Anonymous
|
Anonymous
|
You are afraid that if you let this guy go, he will be the best you'll ever get. So being with a someone who gives you a little bit (but not enough) is better (in your mind/heart) than risking not ever having anyone ever.
Deep breath, someone better will come along. Staying with someone who gives you a little bit will eat at your soul. |
Anonymous
That’s the truth, coming from a married who thinks about another married. |
Anonymous
|
OP, skimmed through this but how old are you?
HE IS JUST NOT INTO YOU! Read the book, watch the movie - HE IS NOT THE ONE! Move on now, and quickly. I'd rather be alone than with a jackass. Alone I am and it's lovely. I refused to let people treat me terribly along time ago. |
Anonymous
OMG was just about to type the same words: He's Just Not That Into You! (Though the book is way better--and more helpful--than the cheesy movie of the same name!) Seriously though, OP, you don't need this. And as another PP said before, he has already told you through his actions (doesn't want to label you his gf) and his words "you never know..." that He's Just Not That Into You! If he were, you wouldn't have to guess or "take that to mean..." anything at all. Because you'd KNOW exactly how he felt. Why? Because when a guy is into a girl enough to marry her he KNOWS she is the one and would NEVER let her doubt that or leave a window for her to get away. He isn't "too busy" or "too tired" or "too spooked" or "too ANYTHING" to grab her up and tell her and everyone else he knows who will listen "this is my girl! I love her and never want to let her go!" OP--you want to be with the guy who sees you as THAT girl for him. Don't be the "you never know..." girl to anyone! Cut ties with this one...and give yourself a chance to be the "SHE's THE ONE" girl for a man who really deserves your affection! |
Anonymous
| Early thirties? RUN, OP. Dump this guy and find someone who is enthusiastic about a romantic relationship with you and wants a future with you. “You never know” means he’s happy to sleep with you until he finds someone he likes better. If you want a family, or even if you just want to use your time wisely and treat yourself well, dump this guy and free yourself up for someone. better |
Anonymous
| If he can’t readily answer the question...where do you see yourself in 5 years with the answer along the lines of married and 2 kids...and that is what you want. He is not good for you. |
Anonymous
|
Anonymous
|
Get a bunch of bridal magazines and read them in front of him. Next time you go out to eat, tell him, "Wouldn't this restaurant be great for a rehearsal dinner?" Take him to the mall and ask about bridal registries at the department store.
After a couple of weeks of that, he'll either run or go get the ring. Problem solved. |