Kids went off the reservation at Costco tonight

[Anonymous]

DS4 and DS3 decided to go absolutely apesh!t at Costco tonight...jumping in and out of the car, punching and kicking each other (yet not really in anger?), making shooting gun symbols with their hands and pointing them at me, shouting about how they were gonna get me, I was going to be kicked out of our family and sent to jail, sent to the moon, catapulted on top of a building.

I tried so hard to be strategic, keep younger one strapped into seat (he would wriggle free), have older one go sit on bench and collect himself and count to 10. Give older one a job like pushing the cart (He refused) _ I just absolutely couldn't contain them.

I had to walk thru parking lot with this sideshow occurring. I wound up giving them th3 silent treatment on the way home so I could collect my thoughts and focus on saf

[Anonymous]

Tonight? It’s not even 6:00 yet. Hardly night.

[Anonymous]

Sorry. That all just stinks.

What is their punishment?

[Anonymous]

#boymom

[Anonymous]

This is when you eat canned beans on toast for supper, and stale cereal without milk.

When they cross the line, you pack up and leave immediately. no "just one more chance," no negotiation. Every time, this is the immediate result.

They will stop very quickly.

[Anonymous]

It happens.

It's over now. You all survived. It will be ok.

10 years from now while your kids are old enough to stay home by themselves while you go to Costco, you will see a mom going through the exact same thing and think to yourself "Thank God I'm done with that stage!"

-Mom of 4 boys, currently 12, 14, 17, and 19

[Anonymous]

No shows, no dessert tonight for starters _ and I told the other one he wasn't going to be allowed to go to local income daycare this summer (where little brother goes and he wants to go) because his behavior wasn't good enough for that environment where she can't have big kids who act like babies. I don't even know what else an appropriate punishment is.

To the pp who said we should leave immediately most of this started as we were in the process to leave? How should I handle Then? I felt like I couldn't walk into parking lot befor3 things were under control but ultimately did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is when you eat canned beans on toast for supper, and stale cereal without milk.

When they cross the line, you pack up and leave immediately. no "just one more chance," no negotiation. Every time, this is the immediate result.

They will stop very quickly.

No, that just teaches them that if you take them somewhere boring, they can escape by acting the fool.

You go out, and sit in the car, in the carseats, for a long time (which is like 10 minutes when you're 3), and ignore them until they start asking you what's going on. Then you go back and try again, but you make your shopping "fast" which means they can't choose the cereal, or whatever.

Also, think about the fact that you describe your kids with racist words like "off the reservation", and how your attitude might relate to their attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No shows, no dessert tonight for starters _ and I told the other one he wasn't going to be allowed to go to local income daycare this summer (where little brother goes and he wants to go) because his behavior wasn't good enough for that environment where she can't have big kids who act like babies. I don't even know what else an appropriate punishment is.

To the pp who said we should leave immediately most of this started as we were in the process to leave? How should I handle Then? I felt like I couldn't walk into parking lot befor3 things were under control but ultimately did.

Childcare is not a punishment, and 4 year olds don't learn from punishments months in the future.

[Anonymous]

OT but, please use "out-of-control" instead of "off the reservation". I didn't know what you meant until I read your post, then I realized what an offensive turn of phrase it is, which I'm sure you didn't realize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is when you eat canned beans on toast for supper, and stale cereal without milk.

When they cross the line, you pack up and leave immediately. no "just one more chance," no negotiation. Every time, this is the immediate result.

They will stop very quickly.

This is bad advice. This works if you are somewhere that the kid thinks as fun. I'm not letting my kid derail grocery shopping. I imagine he would love it if all he had to do was act up a bit and get us to terminate every boring errand immediately.

[Anonymous]

PP, did you miss the canned beans on toast and stale cereal without milk?

If your kids find that a reward, that's unusual. But there can still more boring and tasteless foods ahead for them.


Agreed on the racist comments, though.

[Anonymous]

Words have meaning. “Off the reservation” may have been something you heard parents/grandparents say, but it’s racist.

[Anonymous]

None of this sounds more than like high spirits to me. What is the big deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OT but, please use "out-of-control" instead of "off the reservation". I didn't know what you meant until I read your post, then I realized what an offensive turn of phrase it is, which I'm sure you didn't realize.

Not to mention that it didn’t even make sense in this context