Should Parents Register their Misbehaving/Etc Kids for Soccer

[Anonymous]

This is a spin off of the U9 and washed up thread. So several former coaches posted how they would send misbehaving, spectrum kids, out of shape kids, etc off and focus on the kids that wanted to be there. The question is that...I agree that parents should know whether or not team sports is appropriate for their kid. I really believe that parents should not sign up their behaviorally challenged kids, their kids that can't control themselves, their kids that don't want to be there, their kids that disrupt practice constantly, kids that can't focus, kids that can't walk and chew gum at the same time, etc. It's not fair to ANYONE! Not the coaches. Not the teammates. But with that said, I don't think they should be locked in a closet with a video game. What is the solution?

[Anonymous]

How would they know if their kid would enjoy something until they try it? Rec sports are for everybody.

[Anonymous]

I figure if a high achieving kid has to put up with classmates who chew a lot of gum and don't want to be there, are not intellectual, etc.
then yes, sporty kids should also have to put up with non-sporty kids. Lots of kids are only in school because their parents make them go, so there's issue with a parent putting a kid in sports and making them go in order to get some exercise. The sporty kids are not uniquely privileged in that they are owed an environment which doesn't include any additional people. That's not how it works.

[Anonymous]

The solution is rec sports. Rec sports are for everyone, even those that are bad at the sport. If you want a higher level experience, that's available for you.

Sorry, my kid is 8 and trying soccer for the first time. He's not disruptive but he's awful. But he's having fun so I'm going to send him so long as he wants to go. Maybe he'll get better. Maybe he'll quit.

[Anonymous]

I think the parents should be involved in monitoring behaving and removing if needed. When I’m doing it - it’s volunteering and usually because no one else including that parent is willing to do it.
I have “threatened” to go get the kid’s parents if the kid couldn’t follow directions but I don’t think I’ve had to go get them - I think the kid has shaped up after that. Personably I think the parent should have been paying attention so I wouldn’t have had to get them because that takes away coverage from the other kids etc. when I have to leave. I’m annoyed at the parent in those situations but cest la vie.

The parents should know we notice this and it may factor in, in future decisions such as who is on the team etc.

[Anonymous]

Yes, kids need to learn to deal with distractions.

My H and I coached a team for a few years and they assigned us a kid that was super hyperactive.

At practice I had my son or my older son stand by him to redirect when he got off task. It really was not that difficult. Kids are way less judgemental than parents. Truthfully every kid had an issue but this boy's issue were just more obvious.

WTF kind of society are we in that this child is not allowed to play soccer.

Mid-season we found out his old team pretended they broke up but stayed together and we had to play them, his mom was really upset.

Usually my H and I would just play all the kids even, where ever and not worry about winning. But we knew we could win, we put this kid as striker, we put my super athletic son in the goal, shut down the other team on defense and only sent the ball to this kid to score. We destroyed the other team and ran up the score. It was poetic.

When it was time to shake hands the other coach said, "I know what you did" and my H said, "and I know what you did"... the man said, "to be fair I didn't do it"... my H said, "yea you did, you fing suck, and you broke his mom's heart"

His mom said to me "ive never really understood the joy of competition and winning until right this moment."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the parents should be involved in monitoring behaving and removing if needed. When I’m doing it - it’s volunteering and usually because no one else including that parent is willing to do it.
I have “threatened” to go get the kid’s parents if the kid couldn’t follow directions but I don’t think I’ve had to go get them - I think the kid has shaped up after that. Personably I think the parent should have been paying attention so I wouldn’t have had to get them because that takes away coverage from the other kids etc. when I have to leave. I’m annoyed at the parent in those situations but cest la vie.

The parents should know we notice this and it may factor in, in future decisions such as who is on the team etc.

As a parent, I would not step in to discipline my child at practice because to me it seems like it's undermining your authority as a coach. I would expect you to tell my kid to take a few minutes away, I'm totally fine if you talk to me either during or after the practice, but I would not feel comfortable calling my kid to me for a discussion during your practice.

[Anonymous]

Everyone plays , everyone practices you don’t kick anyone out of practice.
I coached rec kids, including young ones of all kinds. for years and sent zero kids to the sidelines during a practice.
That is the sign of poor coaching ability and practices that weren’t geared towards the developmental age of the kids.
We played so many fun active soccer games I never had disengaged kids. For a break I’d let them shoot on me in goal - I’m a 40+ year old woman and not a wimp.
There’s no excuse for rec coaches to not at least take E and F coaching licensing classes and there’s no excuse for rec coaches to not be playing the game some themselves .

Most rec coaches are terrible - but they’re out their with their dumb whistle and their clipboard so they think they’re some kind of hero.

[Anonymous]

"Top Soccer" is an initiative that is intended to offer opportunities for kids with a variety of needs from physical to mental disabilities.

https://www.usyouthsoccer.org/programs/topsoccer/

Some of those are more easier to identify than others. But, we use the term "spectrum" for a reason, and that is because there are a wide range of issues and needs that have more subtle nuances.

This is when parents need properly asses what is best for their child and the overall team and have those accommodations addressed up front. The problem with rec coaches is they are just volunteer parents in most cases have no training regarding addressing specific needs of some kids.

But if a parent knows that their child is really only focused and good for 30 minutes out of a hour practice then inform the coach.

If group size can affect how a child interacts, then address that as well and find an appropriate size group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the parents should be involved in monitoring behaving and removing if needed. When I’m doing it - it’s volunteering and usually because no one else including that parent is willing to do it.
I have “threatened” to go get the kid’s parents if the kid couldn’t follow directions but I don’t think I’ve had to go get them - I think the kid has shaped up after that. Personably I think the parent should have been paying attention so I wouldn’t have had to get them because that takes away coverage from the other kids etc. when I have to leave. I’m annoyed at the parent in those situations but cest la vie.

The parents should know we notice this and it may factor in, in future decisions such as who is on the team etc.

As a parent, I would not step in to discipline my child at practice because to me it seems like it's undermining your authority as a coach. I would expect you to tell my kid to take a few minutes away, I'm totally fine if you talk to me either during or after the practice, but I would not feel comfortable calling my kid to me for a discussion during your practice.

It would probably be fine if you had a dialog with me and said something like that. I actually should make it clear that I wasn’t referring to soccer but another sport where safety depends on following directions.

[Anonymous]

OP your attitude is disgusting.

If we're talking about K-3rd graders in Rec soccer some misbehavior is very normal. This is the time for them to try out new activities, make mistakes and have fun. If you want your child to be with only talented obedient kids don't be a Rec coach and take your child to a try out team. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, kids need to learn to deal with distractions.

My H and I coached a team for a few years and they assigned us a kid that was super hyperactive.

At practice I had my son or my older son stand by him to redirect when he got off task. It really was not that difficult. Kids are way less judgemental than parents. Truthfully every kid had an issue but this boy's issue were just more obvious.

WTF kind of society are we in that this child is not allowed to play soccer.

Mid-season we found out his old team pretended they broke up but stayed together and we had to play them, his mom was really upset.

Usually my H and I would just play all the kids even, where ever and not worry about winning. But we knew we could win, we put this kid as striker, we put my super athletic son in the goal, shut down the other team on defense and only sent the ball to this kid to score. We destroyed the other team and ran up the score. It was poetic.

When it was time to shake hands the other coach said, "I know what you did" and my H said, "and I know what you did"... the man said, "to be fair I didn't do it"... my H said, "yea you did, you fing suck, and you broke his mom's heart"

His mom said to me "ive never really understood the joy of competition and winning until right this moment."

You're a good coach and a good person. Would have been proud to have DC (who plays travel now) as part of your team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin off of the U9 and washed up thread. So several former coaches posted how they would send misbehaving, spectrum kids, out of shape kids, etc off and focus on the kids that wanted to be there. The question is that...I agree that parents should know whether or not team sports is appropriate for their kid. I really believe that parents should not sign up their behaviorally challenged kids, their kids that can't control themselves, their kids that don't want to be there, their kids that disrupt practice constantly, kids that can't focus, kids that can't walk and chew gum at the same time, etc. It's not fair to ANYONE! Not the coaches. Not the teammates. But with that said, I don't think they should be locked in a closet with a video game. What is the solution?

If this happened on DS's U9 team there would be only 2-3 kids, including the coach's child, left. He'd have no team and no friends to play with. Honest. I'm looking at the roster right now.

[Anonymous]

On my DS’s team, the coach would have to remove his own kid.

[Anonymous]

I make them run sprints, that usually removes the riff-raff.