Should Parents Register their Misbehaving/Etc Kids for Soccer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, rec is for EVERYBODY. 100%. However, that model is keeping parents from coaching...rosters are huge because clubs can't find enough coaches? Why? Because parent volunteer coaches don't want to have to put up with the kids that can't pay attention, don't listen, etc. So think what you want but the parents with no regard for others but insist on signing up their kid just because they could, is killing the opportunities and experience for others. Not for ALL others of course, but parents need to think about this if this kid is a PITA unless YOU ARE WILLING TO COACH!

And the more coaches there are, more small groups within practice can be created - which is a win win for all.

Yes - To me the issue is not athletic ability or skill or anything like that - rec soccer is open to all and our experience has been that a wide range of skills and abilities can have an absolute blast and learn and have fun.

The issue is that these are parent volunteers (who are not teachers or counselors and who receive little to no training in how to handle little kids) who are asked to teach kids - and when you have kids who have no interest, don't want to be there, like tripping the other kids, kick balls away, and generally make it not-fun for the rest of the group- it can get rough. And ABSOLUTELY there are things you can learn to do to handle these situations - and amazing inspiring rec coaches exist - but overall these are regular people with demanding jobs and families and for the most part they are just trying their best. And wrt to my 2 younger boys, it has been like pulling teeth to get volunteer coaches - because it can be a really thankless job some time. So it is a good idea to sit through your rec practice every once and awhile. Ask the coach if you can help out if it looks like things are going south. A parent on one of our rec teams sent an email sign up around asking for parents to volunteer for just 1 practice. It helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, rec is for EVERYBODY. 100%. However, that model is keeping parents from coaching...rosters are huge because clubs can't find enough coaches? Why? Because parent volunteer coaches don't want to have to put up with the kids that can't pay attention, don't listen, etc. So think what you want but the parents with no regard for others but insist on signing up their kid just because they could, is killing the opportunities and experience for others. Not for ALL others of course, but parents need to think about this if this kid is a PITA unless YOU ARE WILLING TO COACH!

And the more coaches there are, more small groups within practice can be created - which is a win win for all.

Yes - To me the issue is not athletic ability or skill or anything like that - rec soccer is open to all and our experience has been that a wide range of skills and abilities can have an absolute blast and learn and have fun.

The issue is that these are parent volunteers (who are not teachers or counselors and who receive little to no training in how to handle little kids) who are asked to teach kids - and when you have kids who have no interest, don't want to be there, like tripping the other kids, kick balls away, and generally make it not-fun for the rest of the group- it can get rough. And ABSOLUTELY there are things you can learn to do to handle these situations - and amazing inspiring rec coaches exist - but overall these are regular people with demanding jobs and families and for the most part they are just trying their best. And wrt to my 2 younger boys, it has been like pulling teeth to get volunteer coaches - because it can be a really thankless job some time. So it is a good idea to sit through your rec practice every once and awhile. Ask the coach if you can help out if it looks like things are going south. A parent on one of our rec teams sent an email sign up around asking for parents to volunteer for just 1 practice. It helped.

+1!

[Anonymous]

I don't mind the less than skilled kids in rec league because starting at around age 8 and definitely by age 10, the best players have left rec league for travel teams and the like.

However, if your kid is 8+ and still a disaster at the sport and badly behaved, do everyone a favor and pull the kid out of the sport. Move on to something else. Don't keep pushing that kid into the sport and definitely don't buy their way in on a team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, rec is for EVERYBODY. 100%. However, that model is keeping parents from coaching...rosters are huge because clubs can't find enough coaches? Why? Because parent volunteer coaches don't want to have to put up with the kids that can't pay attention, don't listen, etc. So think what you want but the parents with no regard for others but insist on signing up their kid just because they could, is killing the opportunities and experience for others. Not for ALL others of course, but parents need to think about this if this kid is a PITA unless YOU ARE WILLING TO COACH!

And the more coaches there are, more small groups within practice can be created - which is a win win for all.

Yes - To me the issue is not athletic ability or skill or anything like that - rec soccer is open to all and our experience has been that a wide range of skills and abilities can have an absolute blast and learn and have fun.

The issue is that these are parent volunteers (who are not teachers or counselors and who receive little to no training in how to handle little kids) who are asked to teach kids - and when you have kids who have no interest, don't want to be there, like tripping the other kids, kick balls away, and generally make it not-fun for the rest of the group- it can get rough. And ABSOLUTELY there are things you can learn to do to handle these situations - and amazing inspiring rec coaches exist - but overall these are regular people with demanding jobs and families and for the most part they are just trying their best. And wrt to my 2 younger boys, it has been like pulling teeth to get volunteer coaches - because it can be a really thankless job some time. So it is a good idea to sit through your rec practice every once and awhile. Ask the coach if you can help out if it looks like things are going south. A parent on one of our rec teams sent an email sign up around asking for parents to volunteer for just 1 practice. It helped.

The one thing I want to emphasize that it is NOT the special needs kids IME who have these behaviors. There have been some who may not play well or are socially awkward but by and large the ones that are physical and rude are the "normal" neurotypical kids. Tops Soccer or any of those programs are not an answer for this. The parents are also in denial so they are not volunteering to help. Most of the SN parents volunteer to help or stay nearby to make sure there are no issues. Not the case for these "NT" kids.

[Anonymous]

My child's soccer team had 3-4 kids with different kids of special needs. The one kid who was a danger and yelling insults at the kids and the coaches and who was physically hitting everyone was a kid without any special needs.

[Anonymous]

how about put all of the PITA kids on the same team together with the PITA coach

[Anonymous]

The answer to this question, is yes - parents shouldn't register their misbehaving kids and we shouldn't allow any special needs kids either nor anyone that doesn't measure up to "our" standards. I mean what is the world coming to. My heavens. No fat kids, no dumb kids, no slow kids, no short kids, no hairy kids ... and most of all not your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer to this question, is yes - parents shouldn't register their misbehaving kids and we shouldn't allow any special needs kids either nor anyone that doesn't measure up to "our" standards. I mean what is the world coming to. My heavens. No fat kids, no dumb kids, no slow kids, no short kids, no hairy kids ... and most of all not your kid.

I think what has been discussed is that rec should be and is available to everyone. However, if your kid is a PITA, maybe you should consider NOT registering him/her unless you can help because it's not really fair to the teammates and the parent, volunteer coach to deal with. In other words, do you think the coach has the necessary training, patience, knowledge, etc to deal with your kid? If not, you should think about it this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, kids need to learn to deal with distractions.

My H and I coached a team for a few years and they assigned us a kid that was super hyperactive.

At practice I had my son or my older son stand by him to redirect when he got off task. It really was not that difficult. Kids are way less judgemental than parents. Truthfully every kid had an issue but this boy's issue were just more obvious.

WTF kind of society are we in that this child is not allowed to play soccer.

Mid-season we found out his old team pretended they broke up but stayed together and we had to play them, his mom was really upset.

Usually my H and I would just play all the kids even, where ever and not worry about winning. But we knew we could win, we put this kid as striker, we put my super athletic son in the goal, shut down the other team on defense and only sent the ball to this kid to score. We destroyed the other team and ran up the score. It was poetic.

When it was time to shake hands the other coach said, "I know what you did" and my H said, "and I know what you did"... the man said, "to be fair I didn't do it"... my H said, "yea you did, you fing suck, and you broke his mom's heart"

His mom said to me "ive never really understood the joy of competition and winning until right this moment."

Holy crap...this brought tears to my eyes. You are my hero!

[Anonymous]

Better and more appropriate topic for this forum:

Should misbehaving parents be allowed to register their kids for soccer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The answer to this question, is yes - parents shouldn't register their misbehaving kids and we shouldn't allow any special needs kids either nor anyone that doesn't measure up to "our" standards. I mean what is the world coming to. My heavens. No fat kids, no dumb kids, no slow kids, no short kids, no hairy kids ... and most of all not your kid.

I think what has been discussed is that rec should be and is available to everyone. However, if your kid is a PITA, maybe you should consider NOT registering him/her unless you can help because it's not really fair to the teammates and the parent, volunteer coach to deal with. In other words, do you think the coach has the necessary training, patience, knowledge, etc to deal with your kid? If not, you should think about it this.

I had one of these PITA kids at age 6. He was easily distracted and had boundless energy that was definitely annoying at times. And no, not all coaches are equipped to handle this. But I tried to step in and help at least.

Honestly, it isn't that hard if you know anything about dealing with high-energy kids. Don't make my kid sit out if he's not following directions. Make him run laps.

Ironically, flash forward a few years he is thriving on a very good travel team today that many kids find too intense. My mildly-ADHD son lives for the intensive competition. He is hyper focused, tenacious and is succeeding beyond my imagination. The everyone-gets-a-trophy rec environment was not a good fit for him, but I'm glad it was there -- and that parents had patience with him -- so he could learn to love the game.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds very arrogant. Like he or she has this parenting thing on cruise control for the next few decades. If only other parents did it as well as she does, then their kids could get through a game of soccer.

Newsflash, OP: your kid will give you a run for your money at some point, too. It might not be happening right now, but it will. They turn into adolescents, you know.

Stop being so cocky. Appreciate how lucky you are for the moment. There is room on the field for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds very arrogant. Like he or she has this parenting thing on cruise control for the next few decades. If only other parents did it as well as she does, then their kids could get through a game of soccer.

Newsflash, OP: your kid will give you a run for your money at some point, too. It might not be happening right now, but it will. They turn into adolescents, you know.

Stop being so cocky. Appreciate how lucky you are for the moment. There is room on the field for everyone.

I think you are missing the point. No one said their kid is an angel. The point is...don't just drop off your PITA kid for someone ELSE to deal with. Watch practice. See if the coach needs help with your kid. If you can't do this, then reconsider.

[Anonymous]

About half of DS's team was a PITA at age 6. My child was more obedient but a really weak and clumsy player. My good friend's child had the opposite child-a very good player and a good sport who has since moved on to travel. I was just talking to this friend this weekend about how grateful we are that the coach put up everyone and how it was a great experience for all.

[Anonymous]

my parents are going to kill my chickens/rosters