Should Parents Register their Misbehaving/Etc Kids for Soccer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the parents should be involved in monitoring behaving and removing if needed. When I’m doing it - it’s volunteering and usually because no one else including that parent is willing to do it.
I have “threatened” to go get the kid’s parents if the kid couldn’t follow directions but I don’t think I’ve had to go get them - I think the kid has shaped up after that. Personably I think the parent should have been paying attention so I wouldn’t have had to get them because that takes away coverage from the other kids etc. when I have to leave. I’m annoyed at the parent in those situations but cest la vie.

The parents should know we notice this and it may factor in, in future decisions such as who is on the team etc.

What rec league lets the coaches pick and choose who is on their team?

This is why some coaches shut down their teams and form "new" ones. When you form a new team most leagues let you pick your initial roster and they will add on to it until it is full.

[Anonymous]

I know a coach who put a kid on the team who played only 1 game and they knew he'd play one game. This is a wealthy area so the extra $80 was nothing. He did it to keep a perfectly nice but admittedly uncoordinated SN kid off the team.

[Anonymous]

In our local rec league, players have the ability to "request" coaches and I think that's ok. If you find an environment that your kid enjoys, why not. As a coach, we do not have the ability to do the reverse of requesting players. I have many returning players because those are friends of my kid.

[Anonymous]

If you're in MCPS, wait until you get to high school and can get involved in the corollary sports that include kids with all kinds of abilities. My athletic DS joined a corollary team freshman year when his first-choice tryout didn't work out, and it was an amazing experience.
https://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/departments/athletics/programs/corollary.aspx

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son who's always been athletic and always loved soccer played on his U8 rec team with all kinds of kids, including one who was clearly on the spectrum. Behavioral issues, focus, acting out. The dad was actively involved, but at practice it was clearly an issue.
In the games though the kid was a defense machine. Nothing got past him. And all the kids including my son learned to rely on him, truly view him as a teammate and see his strengths despite some obvious issues. It was a positive for everyone. My son started travel the next year and a lot of the parents complained about the kids on rec, but I always thought my son got a few bigger lessons those two seasons that were much more important for his seven year old development.

This same kid or a similar kid with the acting out, etc. might have been on my child's rec baseball team at that age. I remember DS being a bit thrown off by this kid but at no point did anyone - kids or parents - ever think he did not belong on the team. We never saw him again after that season until a few years later, last spring, when his team and my child's team were sharing the field for some reason and he was really a different kid. He still wasn't very good at the sport, but he was more focused and we saw no behavioral issues at all. His mother talked about how important sports have been for him. It made me smile to know he's had a great experience. I imagine other things must be difficult for him.

[Anonymous]

Rec soccer should be all inclusive. It's just something that comes with the territory. As a coach, you need to set expectations with parents, get an assistant coach that will herd and focus the less focused kids.

By the way, travel teams at u9-u11 still have some of these kids on the B and C teams.

[Anonymous]

There's a really cool mom at our school who has a very athletic and well-behaved kid who has really set the tone of the rest of the parents. She has her kid participating in high-level travel sports as well as staying on the school rec team for another sport as the rules allow.

The rec team has her kid (a star) and a few other excellent athletes and some kids with special needs. They are all treated as equal and everyone has a great time. My DS thinks this is as much if not more fun than his travel sports.

[Anonymous]

My husband coached our three boys until each of them reached travel age. I would say 25-50% of the kids were challenging in some way or another, at least to some degree. Maybe didn't listen, maybe anger management issues, maybe would kick other kids' soccer balls into the woods, maybe super anxious, maybe cried all the time.

But you know what--it's rec. Rec is for everyone equally! My husband made a huge effort to keep drills simple enough that everyone could follow and learn something, while also keeping practice fun. He split the team into two groups and might have the assistant coach work on one thing, while he worked on another because small groups were generally more effective. If he had a particularly challenging bunch he'd get a second assistant to step in with just keeping things running.

The kids learned and they had fun. With my oldest , from U6-U9 almost no one left the team. At U9 half the kids moved to travel. I'd say these are good signs of success.

EVERYONE gets to play rec. If you disagree, don't bring your kid to rec and, for goodness sake, please don't sign up to coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the parents should be involved in monitoring behaving and removing if needed. When I’m doing it - it’s volunteering and usually because no one else including that parent is willing to do it.
I have “threatened” to go get the kid’s parents if the kid couldn’t follow directions but I don’t think I’ve had to go get them - I think the kid has shaped up after that. Personably I think the parent should have been paying attention so I wouldn’t have had to get them because that takes away coverage from the other kids etc. when I have to leave. I’m annoyed at the parent in those situations but cest la vie.

The parents should know we notice this and it may factor in, in future decisions such as who is on the team etc.

As a parent, I would not step in to discipline my child at practice because to me it seems like it's undermining your authority as a coach. I would expect you to tell my kid to take a few minutes away, I'm totally fine if you talk to me either during or after the practice, but I would not feel comfortable calling my kid to me for a discussion during your practice.

I don't mind any kid (good, bad, indifferent players) except for the misbehaved and disruptive ones. Parents that know their kids could be disruptive need to stick around and be ready to pull your kid aside or even take them home if needed. This has nothing to do with interferting with the coaches authority and realizing that a volunteer mom or dad coach isn't there to discipline your kid or even deal with a disruptive kid.

Ideally, if feasible, the parent of a disruptive child could consider volunteering to be an assistant coach or team parent so they could more directly help their child if needed.

[Anonymous]

I think we are getting 2 things confused. Rec is for everyone, but it takes special training to handle kids with disabilities. They should have an opportunity to play, but it has to be with trained coaches, not your normal volunteer coach. That would be a disservice to both coach and player.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think EVEN rec soccer is for everyone. I know it it's all inclusive but parents, you know if you have a difficult kid or not. Why throw him to a parent volunteer coach that probably doesn't have the knowledge or time to work with your child independently. I just read many nice stories about inclusion and all that but, I agree that it's not fair for everyone to register a problem child....unless you volunteer to assist and be very hands on. Of course some horsing around is expected. They are kids. But I think everyone knows a dozen kids that OP is talking about. These kids need to work with their parents at home until they are ready. If the parent can't handle this, how can they expect another parent volunteer coach to handle it?

OP isn't just concerned about bad behavior. She also called out kids who are "out of shape" and uncoordinated "can't walk a d chew gum at the same time." That's a really pathetic way for an adult to feel about little kids' rec sports. It shouldn't matter one iota of a first grader is any good at soccer. I don't care if they literally never manage to make contact with the ball. The point is having fun, learning good sportsmanship, and getting exercise. If you think it's not fair that your soccer superstar has to share the field with some unathletic kids, well, honey, you should get a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we are getting 2 things confused. Rec is for everyone, but it takes special training to handle kids with disabilities. They should have an opportunity to play, but it has to be with trained coaches, not your normal volunteer coach. That would be a disservice to both coach and player.

Most of the kids with disabilities are FINE. If a kid on the spectrum doesn't focus during the game, or doesn't go after the ball, it may affect the score but it doesn't affect anything else. It is NBD in Rec.

The most disruptive kids are the totally neurotypical kids who just don't want to be there, or who want to be wrestling with their buddies instead of following directions. Between my husband and me, with our multiple very sporty kids, we have coached several dozen sports teams over the years. I can't imagine there are many families who have coached more.

It might take a lot of patience and a sense of humor but, with rare exceptions, it takes NO special training. Of course there may be the occasional kid who really can't participate--we have never had even one--but what we are talking about in this thread, the fifty percent of kids who are not that into it, or not that good, or easily distracted, or digging in the dirt, come on people. Lighten up. Can you have an "it takes a village attitude" for an hour or two a week during a couple short seasons per year??? It is good for the kids to have all kinds of friends. My kids are into sports and ended up leaving rec to play more competitively but they loved their time in rec and made a lot of lasting friendships .

[Anonymous]

Yes, rec is for EVERYBODY. 100%. However, that model is keeping parents from coaching...rosters are huge because clubs can't find enough coaches? Why? Because parent volunteer coaches don't want to have to put up with the kids that can't pay attention, don't listen, etc. So think what you want but the parents with no regard for others but insist on signing up their kid just because they could, is killing the opportunities and experience for others. Not for ALL others of course, but parents need to think about this if this kid is a PITA unless YOU ARE WILLING TO COACH!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, rec is for EVERYBODY. 100%. However, that model is keeping parents from coaching...rosters are huge because clubs can't find enough coaches? Why? Because parent volunteer coaches don't want to have to put up with the kids that can't pay attention, don't listen, etc. So think what you want but the parents with no regard for others but insist on signing up their kid just because they could, is killing the opportunities and experience for others. Not for ALL others of course, but parents need to think about this if this kid is a PITA unless YOU ARE WILLING TO COACH!

And the more coaches there are, more small groups within practice can be created - which is a win win for all.

[Anonymous]

Loudoun has Topsoccer for kids with disabilities with specially trained coaches. Of course, if your kid is just a PIA, they don't qualify.