The Karen meme silences White women

[Anonymous]

This entire thread is complaining to the manager.

For 52 freaking pages.

Perfect illustration why the meme exists in the first place.

[Anonymous]

^^^ I should add, in your situation you need to do what keeps you sane. But in your place I’d want to label all the ugly aspects of their behavior, not use a term that even DCUM can’t agree on and which could be used against women like us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The key Karen trait is having victim complex.

It’s possible to be an assertive white woman without being a Karen. It’s the tendency to act helpless and innocent after passive aggressively stirring things up with people and then turning it around and acting like you are being victimized.

The white woman who got slapped in that viral video was just a garden variety racist b—— until she got slapped and she suddenly acted shocked and traumatized, as if she didn’t instigate the whole situation. I know it’s generalization, but white woman are *notorious* for doing this.

This. White woman victimhood. And that's exactly why so many people found this thread to be precisely the Karen-esque behavior that people find irritating, and they doubled down for 50 pages whining about how silenced they are. For silenced victims, y'all talk an awful lot.

- signed black woman who just got a hostile email from her Karen coworker calling her rude for the 3rd time this month for disagreeing with her misinformed "idea" for how I should do MY job. (I'm anticipating having to field a teary phone call where she demands an apology for my "rudeness")

+1

I disagree. It’s not generally used as a victimhood ploy (except for white pp with the dog, who I suspect was actually trying to stir up racial issues). It’s used to diss women who assert themselves, whether or not they’re doing it appropriately, and whether or not they combine it with playing victim.

The fact that we’re all debating what “Karen” means shows that it’s not useful to describe anyone with precision. It is, however, targeted at women in a way we don’t name for men.

I’m sorry your boss is a jerk and a bad manager and passive aggressive. But I’d call her all those things, not an ill-defined Karen.

Just because you don't understand the meaning behind a term, doesn't mean that others don't and can't use it as such. We're not debating definitions at this point - the term is not meant to "diss" assertive women. 100% of my millennial friends and coworkers know that, as do a majority of people on this thread except for those adamantly not listening and whining about their perceived victimhood. It was also never that serious of a term, more tongue and check end of the spectrum vs. slur, but it seems like everyone here tried really hard to turn it into that....maybe it's a generational difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The key Karen trait is having victim complex.

It’s possible to be an assertive white woman without being a Karen. It’s the tendency to act helpless and innocent after passive aggressively stirring things up with people and then turning it around and acting like you are being victimized.

The white woman who got slapped in that viral video was just a garden variety racist b—— until she got slapped and she suddenly acted shocked and traumatized, as if she didn’t instigate the whole situation. I know it’s generalization, but white woman are *notorious* for doing this.

This. White woman victimhood. And that's exactly why so many people found this thread to be precisely the Karen-esque behavior that people find irritating, and they doubled down for 50 pages whining about how silenced they are. For silenced victims, y'all talk an awful lot.

- signed black woman who just got a hostile email from her Karen coworker calling her rude for the 3rd time this month for disagreeing with her misinformed "idea" for how I should do MY job. (I'm anticipating having to field a teary phone call where she demands an apology for my "rudeness")

+1

I disagree. It’s not generally used as a victimhood ploy (except for white pp with the dog, who I suspect was actually trying to stir up racial issues). It’s used to diss women who assert themselves, whether or not they’re doing it appropriately, and whether or not they combine it with playing victim.

The fact that we’re all debating what “Karen” means shows that it’s not useful to describe anyone with precision. It is, however, targeted at women in a way we don’t name for men.

I’m sorry your boss is a jerk and a bad manager and passive aggressive. But I’d call her all those things, not an ill-defined Karen.

I can't call her on any of those things PP. And she's not my manager, she is my peer who believes she is my manager. Her function actually falls under mine.

I have said something, repeatedly, each time met with more tears. I stopped saying anything because I have been labeled difficult and a trouble maker by her and the other white women on my team (I am the only black person at the company). My white CEO who we both report to is an outright racist who would shout me out of his office if I even attempted to broach the conversation. My coworker is a Karen, and I am actually in a situation where my voice is silenced. I will not weep for Karens and their outrage at being labeled one.

She sounds awful and your manager sounds worse.

But why can’t you call her these things, a jerk and manipulative? It’s not like you’re saying any of this to her face. You’re not calling her a Karen to her face, either. So when you’re on your own and totally exasperated, and when you complain about her to your friends, why not use labels that mean something and precisely label the different aspects of her beatchiness?

I do label it more precisely in conversations with my friends. But sometimes after a day of dealing with this sh!t and maintaining my composure, I just want to call her a Karen, have a drink, and laugh with my friends. They know exactly what I mean by it because we have all dealt with one. If I couldn't occasionally make light of it, my blood pressure would be through the roof.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The key Karen trait is having victim complex.

It’s possible to be an assertive white woman without being a Karen. It’s the tendency to act helpless and innocent after passive aggressively stirring things up with people and then turning it around and acting like you are being victimized.

The white woman who got slapped in that viral video was just a garden variety racist b—— until she got slapped and she suddenly acted shocked and traumatized, as if she didn’t instigate the whole situation. I know it’s generalization, but white woman are *notorious* for doing this.

This. White woman victimhood. And that's exactly why so many people found this thread to be precisely the Karen-esque behavior that people find irritating, and they doubled down for 50 pages whining about how silenced they are. For silenced victims, y'all talk an awful lot.

- signed black woman who just got a hostile email from her Karen coworker calling her rude for the 3rd time this month for disagreeing with her misinformed "idea" for how I should do MY job. (I'm anticipating having to field a teary phone call where she demands an apology for my "rudeness")

+1

I disagree. It’s not generally used as a victimhood ploy (except for white pp with the dog, who I suspect was actually trying to stir up racial issues). It’s used to diss women who assert themselves, whether or not they’re doing it appropriately, and whether or not they combine it with playing victim.

The fact that we’re all debating what “Karen” means shows that it’s not useful to describe anyone with precision. It is, however, targeted at women in a way we don’t name for men.

I’m sorry your boss is a jerk and a bad manager and passive aggressive. But I’d call her all those things, not an ill-defined Karen.

I can't call her on any of those things PP. And she's not my manager, she is my peer who believes she is my manager. Her function actually falls under mine.

I have said something, repeatedly, each time met with more tears. I stopped saying anything because I have been labeled difficult and a trouble maker by her and the other white women on my team (I am the only black person at the company). My white CEO who we both report to is an outright racist who would shout me out of his office if I even attempted to broach the conversation. My coworker is a Karen, and I am actually in a situation where my voice is silenced. I will not weep for Karens and their outrage at being labeled one.

She sounds awful and your manager sounds worse.

But why can’t you call her these things, a jerk and manipulative? It’s not like you’re saying any of this to her face. You’re not calling her a Karen to her face, either. So when you’re on your own and totally exasperated, and when you complain about her to your friends, why not use labels that mean something and precisely label the different aspects of her beatchiness?

I do label it more precisely in conversations with my friends. But sometimes after a day of dealing with this sh!t and maintaining my composure, I just want to call her a Karen, have a drink, and laugh with my friends. They know exactly what I mean by it because we have all dealt with one. If I couldn't occasionally make light of it, my blood pressure would be through the roof.

PP again. I also wanted to point out that this woman is not just being a manipulative jerk. She is a white woman who managed to get to this level in her career without ever having learned how to do the basics of her job. She is threatened by me, and she demonstrates this by stealing credit for my work, lying behind my back, and using loaded terms like "rude" and "difficult" to police my behavior. When asked how specifically I've been rude, she cries and says "it's just a feeling." It's more than just finding her annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Just because you don't understand the meaning behind a term, doesn't mean that others don't and can't use it as such. We're not debating definitions at this point - the term is not meant to "diss" assertive women. 100% of my millennial friends and coworkers know that, as do a majority of people on this thread except for those adamantly not listening and whining about their perceived victimhood. It was also never that serious of a term, more tongue and check end of the spectrum vs. slur, but it seems like everyone here tried really hard to turn it into that....maybe it's a generational difference.

What a load of bs. In 50 pages there have been a dozen definitions and nobody has put victimhood in the mix until you tried to just now. You and your small group of idiot friends may have your own definition, but you don’t get to dictate how other people define it. I bet somebody has called you a Karen behind your back and you just didn’t know or suspect because it didn’t fit your own definition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Just because you don't understand the meaning behind a term, doesn't mean that others don't and can't use it as such. We're not debating definitions at this point - the term is not meant to "diss" assertive women. 100% of my millennial friends and coworkers know that, as do a majority of people on this thread except for those adamantly not listening and whining about their perceived victimhood. It was also never that serious of a term, more tongue and check end of the spectrum vs. slur, but it seems like everyone here tried really hard to turn it into that....maybe it's a generational difference.

What a load of bs. In 50 pages there have been a dozen definitions and nobody has put victimhood in the mix until you tried to just now. You and your small group of idiot friends may have your own definition, but you don’t get to dictate how other people define it. I bet somebody has called you a Karen behind your back and you just didn’t know or suspect because it didn’t fit your own definition.

You clearly didn't read the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear white woman who is afraid to call the police for legitimate reasons. Welcome to life as a black man.

She’s not afraid they are going to hurt her physically.

Great! Is this what you want?

No, just pointing out that her fear is different.

So now there are levels of fear and that a white women's fear is less than?

Got it

She’s not afraid that her life is in danger, only that the police won’t take her seriously. That fear is certainly “less than”.

Actually her fear is even less than that. She is afraid of being doxxed as a Karen.

Wrong. My fear was this dog was going to hurt my dog. My fear was not being believed. By telling this story your responses confirm what I believe.

He was telling me what to do and yet he was breaking the rules. Why cant I walk my dog in peace?

You want white women to shut up and take it.

You are telling details that you didn’t say in the beginning. You didn’t say, “I was worried his dog would hurt my dog, etc etc”. You made a sweeping statement then got all huffy when people challenged you. If that was the case, then you were silly to let an online meme ever effect or impact your and your fur baby’s safety. Last PP you responded to posting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The key Karen trait is having victim complex.

It’s possible to be an assertive white woman without being a Karen. It’s the tendency to act helpless and innocent after passive aggressively stirring things up with people and then turning it around and acting like you are being victimized.

The white woman who got slapped in that viral video was just a garden variety racist b—— until she got slapped and she suddenly acted shocked and traumatized, as if she didn’t instigate the whole situation. I know it’s generalization, but white woman are *notorious* for doing this.

This. White woman victimhood. And that's exactly why so many people found this thread to be precisely the Karen-esque behavior that people find irritating, and they doubled down for 50 pages whining about how silenced they are. For silenced victims, y'all talk an awful lot.

- signed black woman who just got a hostile email from her Karen coworker calling her rude for the 3rd time this month for disagreeing with her misinformed "idea" for how I should do MY job. (I'm anticipating having to field a teary phone call where she demands an apology for my "rudeness")

+1

I disagree. It’s not generally used as a victimhood ploy (except for white pp with the dog, who I suspect was actually trying to stir up racial issues). It’s used to diss women who assert themselves, whether or not they’re doing it appropriately, and whether or not they combine it with playing victim.

The fact that we’re all debating what “Karen” means shows that it’s not useful to describe anyone with precision. It is, however, targeted at women in a way we don’t name for men.

I’m sorry your boss is a jerk and a bad manager and passive aggressive. But I’d call her all those things, not an ill-defined Karen.

I can't call her on any of those things PP. And she's not my manager, she is my peer who believes she is my manager. Her function actually falls under mine.

I have said something, repeatedly, each time met with more tears. I stopped saying anything because I have been labeled difficult and a trouble maker by her and the other white women on my team (I am the only black person at the company). My white CEO who we both report to is an outright racist who would shout me out of his office if I even attempted to broach the conversation. My coworker is a Karen, and I am actually in a situation where my voice is silenced. I will not weep for Karens and their outrage at being labeled one.

She sounds awful and your manager sounds worse.

But why can’t you call her these things, a jerk and manipulative? It’s not like you’re saying any of this to her face. You’re not calling her a Karen to her face, either. So when you’re on your own and totally exasperated, and when you complain about her to your friends, why not use labels that mean something and precisely label the different aspects of her beatchiness?

I do label it more precisely in conversations with my friends. But sometimes after a day of dealing with this sh!t and maintaining my composure, I just want to call her a Karen, have a drink, and laugh with my friends. They know exactly what I mean by it because we have all dealt with one. If I couldn't occasionally make light of it, my blood pressure would be through the roof.

PP again. I also wanted to point out that this woman is not just being a manipulative jerk. She is a white woman who managed to get to this level in her career without ever having learned how to do the basics of her job. She is threatened by me, and she demonstrates this by stealing credit for my work, lying behind my back, and using loaded terms like "rude" and "difficult" to police my behavior. When asked how specifically I've been rude, she cries and says "it's just a feeling." It's more than just finding her annoying.

Sounds like my old boss. Happens all the time. Oddly, her name was Karen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear white woman who is afraid to call the police for legitimate reasons. Welcome to life as a black man.

She’s not afraid they are going to hurt her physically.

Great! Is this what you want?

No, just pointing out that her fear is different.

So now there are levels of fear and that a white women's fear is less than?

Got it

She’s not afraid that her life is in danger, only that the police won’t take her seriously. That fear is certainly “less than”.

Actually her fear is even less than that. She is afraid of being doxxed as a Karen.

Wrong. My fear was this dog was going to hurt my dog. My fear was not being believed. By telling this story your responses confirm what I believe.

He was telling me what to do and yet he was breaking the rules. Why cant I walk my dog in peace?

You want white women to shut up and take it.

You are telling details that you didn’t say in the beginning. You didn’t say, “I was worried his dog would hurt my dog, etc etc”. You made a sweeping statement then got all huffy when people challenged you. If that was the case, then you were silly to let an online meme ever effect or impact your and your fur baby’s safety. Last PP you responded to posting.

I didnt think I needed to spell out my fear! I am defending myself yet you call me huffy! Another put down. I dont care about being called karen. If you dont get it than you dismiss which is why I shouldnt have said anything.

[Anonymous]

PP, I didn’t read all 54 pages and I’m not attacking you. You’re hypersensitive right now which is understandable. But multiple posters have agreed with you, and multiple have disagreed. Okay, fine. And? You can’t force everyone to think the same. You can know what is right, try to hear all points of view, and hopefully walk away better for it.

As far as spelling out your fear - it’s pretty critical in a thread about being fearful of being called a Karen because of another fear. The fears count. Fear of a black man jogging in his neighborhood? Fear of McDonald’s not giving you a gluten free bun while you hold up the line of exhausted retail workers getting the dinner they can afford? Or fear of your dog being attacked any another dog? Every single person deserves a right to safety. No one has said that they don’t. No one wants to have a state without police. They want appropriated funds that support a safe police force. No one is saying danger doesn’t exist. But acknowledge that black profiling DOES exist, and it is based off of “fears” that many white women have because of stereotypes established and ingrained in our culture. Black men scare some white women. Maybe not uou, which is wonderful. But there are men who have harassed because of a misplaced fear. There are also men who have been scary, and the call was the right call. The important part is to understand that this entire thread is from one comment you all failed to ignore from a black MAN.

Welcome to his world. It’s unfair.its frustrating. It’s polluted with mixed messaging and ignorance, entitlement and hate. And it is unfair.

Normalize the conversation so he can speak too. He is afraid to call the police about your dog attacking him because you are a white woman. Even if you’re in the wrong. Do you understand that? It’s not a personal attack on you. It’s an elevation of a lot of America’s reality. There IS a both sides to this argument, and it needs to be heard.

Don’t let this upset you so much. We are all working through very intense feelings and impacts here. To our children, our relatives - and this frustration about a meme silencing a white woman is just ironic because It’s no difference than saying a person playing the “race card” silences the Black person.

[Anonymous]

TLDR; “Karen meme” silences white women, accusing a black person of pulling the “race card” silences black people.

But ultimately, you shouldn’t let a meme or anonymous poster 18463946194 ever silence you. Instead, just understand everyone will have differing points of view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear white woman who is afraid to call the police for legitimate reasons. Welcome to life as a black man.

She’s not afraid they are going to hurt her physically.

Great! Is this what you want?

No, just pointing out that her fear is different.

So now there are levels of fear and that a white women's fear is less than?

Got it

She’s not afraid that her life is in danger, only that the police won’t take her seriously. That fear is certainly “less than”.

Actually her fear is even less than that. She is afraid of being doxxed as a Karen.

Wrong. My fear was this dog was going to hurt my dog. My fear was not being believed. By telling this story your responses confirm what I believe.

He was telling me what to do and yet he was breaking the rules. Why cant I walk my dog in peace?

You want white women to shut up and take it.

You are telling details that you didn’t say in the beginning. You didn’t say, “I was worried his dog would hurt my dog, etc etc”. You made a sweeping statement then got all huffy when people challenged you. If that was the case, then you were silly to let an online meme ever effect or impact your and your fur baby’s safety. Last PP you responded to posting.

I didnt think I needed to spell out my fear! I am defending myself yet you call me huffy! Another put down. I dont care about being called karen. If you dont get it than you dismiss which is why I shouldnt have said anything.

Another Karen trait is the expectation that others should be able to read Karen’s mind, anticipate Karen’s needs, and selflessly defer to Karen without Karen having to explain anything or attempt to appreciate that others may be experiencing the situation differently than Karen. Other people should “just know” Karen’s Truth.

If Karen is is forced to burn a couple of anticipated calories explaining herself then all must graciously accept Karen’s point of view and then spend the next ten minutes reassuring Karen and making Karen feel better about herself and telling Karen that she is a good Karen. Any further questioning of Karen is persecution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear white woman who is afraid to call the police for legitimate reasons. Welcome to life as a black man.

She’s not afraid they are going to hurt her physically.

Great! Is this what you want?

No, just pointing out that her fear is different.

So now there are levels of fear and that a white women's fear is less than?

Got it

She’s not afraid that her life is in danger, only that the police won’t take her seriously. That fear is certainly “less than”.

Actually her fear is even less than that. She is afraid of being doxxed as a Karen.

Wrong. My fear was this dog was going to hurt my dog. My fear was not being believed. By telling this story your responses confirm what I believe.

He was telling me what to do and yet he was breaking the rules. Why cant I walk my dog in peace?

You want white women to shut up and take it.

You are telling details that you didn’t say in the beginning. You didn’t say, “I was worried his dog would hurt my dog, etc etc”. You made a sweeping statement then got all huffy when people challenged you. If that was the case, then you were silly to let an online meme ever effect or impact your and your fur baby’s safety. Last PP you responded to posting.

I didnt think I needed to spell out my fear! I am defending myself yet you call me huffy! Another put down. I dont care about being called karen. If you dont get it than you dismiss which is why I shouldnt have said anything.

Another Karen trait is the expectation that others should be able to read Karen’s mind, anticipate Karen’s needs, and selflessly defer to Karen without Karen having to explain anything or attempt to appreciate that others may be experiencing the situation differently than Karen. Other people should “just know” Karen’s Truth.

If Karen is is forced to burn a couple of anticipated calories explaining herself then all must graciously accept Karen’s point of view and then spend the next ten minutes reassuring Karen and making Karen feel better about herself and telling Karen that she is a good Karen. Any further questioning of Karen is persecution.

Stop trying to legitimize a misogynistic label.

[Anonymous]

Let's be honest. This OP is such a Karen thing to do.