Just a vent - my mom is useless

[Anonymous]

Just had baby #2 and my mom begged to come stay with us for a few weeks to help with the baby and my 4 year old son. It has been almost 2 weeks and not only is she not very helpful, she is actually causing more work and making things harder for me. She claimed she would stay up late and help with the earlier night feedings so I can get some rest but she is exhausted by 10pm and needs to go to bed, so she isn’t really helping in that area - DH feeds the baby a bottle around 11pm and the. I handle the remaining feedings. Our 4yo is up by 6:30am and DH has to be up then as well to go to work (he leaves at 7:15) and then I have to bring the baby while I drop DS off at school since my mom is still asleep when we leave at 8. Then she said she would pick DS up from school but most days she seems to be “lying down” when it’s time to get him so I am left to do that as well.

Rather than offer to cook us a meal, she complains about what I am making for dinner and makes something separate for herself that just creates more mess to clean up. She lounges around the house all day watching TV and barely does anything other than offer to hold the baby while she is watching TV on the couch.

I know my mom has good intentions but she is just making me crazy.

Thanks for letting me vent!! And note to all, think twice about letting your mom or MIL come stay with you unless they are actually helpful.

[Anonymous]

Hope she leaves soon. That sucks.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. Hope she leaves soon.

[Anonymous]

Seriously what is there to be grateful for based on OP’s description? Anyone responding like pp has to be a troll. I would be so pissed OP, I’m sorry.

[Anonymous]

That sucks OP! I would ask your mom to leave. You have my sympathy!

[Anonymous]

Can you say something to her? Remind her she begged to come stay with you "to help"? And I do NOT think you are ungrateful and insufferable. I would be super pissed off about your situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound pretty ungrateful and insufferable yourself, OP.

NP. No she does not. The last thing someone with an older kid and a new baby is a guest who just lays around and complains about what’s for dinner. It’s especially annoying when the guest begged to come and said they would help.

[Anonymous]

^ needs

[Anonymous]

Give her a list of tasks. Send her to the grocery store or Target. Put a pile of laundry in front of her. I love my mom, but once when she was visiting my newborn she had to call me into the room because the diaper fell off and she didn't know how to reattach it.

[Anonymous]

My mom was the same, OP. My sympathies.

[Anonymous]

My mom same. Ugh. Her idea of helping when I have severe nausea while pregnant with my third and coming to "help" with other two is all of us going out to dinner every night - insisting I come along because otherwise it's "too hard" with the 2 and 4 year olds. I'm throwing up every hour and don't want to go to a restaurant but my kids have to eat?!? aaaahhhhh

Anyway I feel your pain.

[Anonymous]

Use your words. Are you mute? Wake her up and ask her to drop off your kid. Tell her when to leave to pick up the kid. Tell her to clean up after herself when she cooks. This is not that difficult.

[Anonymous]

I don't get this. Didn't these mother's have babies? Don't they remember how overwhelming it was?? Sorry OP, I would let her know she is causing you stress and is not helpful at all. She needs a wake up call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get this. Didn't these mother's have babies? Don't they remember how overwhelming it was?? Sorry OP, I would let her know she is causing you stress and is not helpful at all. She needs a wake up call.

Well my mom nor MIL came at all, so no, I don't think they remember.

[Anonymous]

Ask her to leave early.

When you have a newborn, you need to put yourself first. My mom was like you describe and I regret not speaking up.