DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
Am I being paranoid?
Late 50s woman here. For about a year and a half or so DH has “befriended” a much, MUCH younger woman (DH 65, this woman I think 30) who is single and very attractive. I’ve met her and I like her (we’ve volunteered on the same committee), but there’s something disconcerting about the way the two of them interact. DH has a big job, and I couldn’t imagine him having the time to have an affair, and he’s not THAT wealthy or high profile as to having women constantly chase him at his age. But this woman seems way top excited to see him, and I’ve noticed he is especially friendly with her. They seem to have some kind of inside jokes and I’ve heard him call her “dear.” DH has always been a friendly guy, and has a lot of female friends, but I haven’t noticed someone THIS much younger and attractive and THIS much interested in him, in some way or another. Is it at all normal for a late 20s or 30 year old single woman to befriend a mid-60s man? Should I be concerned? If so, how do I tell DH, or this woman, or what should I say? I don’t want to sound paranoid if there’s no there there. Is there a tactful way to bring it up? |
Anonymous
| Coming from a serial cheater, trust your instincts. |
Anonymous
HAHAHAHA she thinks he has more money than he does. Sucker. |
Anonymous
| Does he have a lot of mo yes he could spending on her in exchange for sex? |
Anonymous
| Married woman in her 40s here. I’ve thought about this situation and what I would do in your shoes. He is probably attracted to her but it’s not the end of the world. I’ve had much older men after me in my younger days. First I was put off but then I was flattered. Take a deep breath. She’s most likely not looking to run off with him. It would be unwise for someone her age to get involved with someone so much older. I’m sure she’s no Holly Golightly. Don’t worry about it. If anything, poke fun at him. Her attention makes him feel good. We connect with people of all ages. They get on well. Maybe it puts him in a better mood. |
Anonymous
Not particularly. She doesn’t seem like a prostitute (I know, that could mean nothing) and she has a real job, I know where she works. She’s relatively new in town, from I think Bulgaria. NOT that I want to generalize about Eastern European women. She’s very nice, and intelligent, and there are other, wealthier, and more conventionally attractive men in their 40s in our circles that she could have “targeted” if that was her agenda. But she just really seems to like DH, and It seems a bit much for “just friends.” -OP |
Anonymous
| DCUM women assure us that 30-something women would never, never, never date a man over 50 (awww saggy balls!) so obviously nothing to worry about here. |
Anonymous
He’s a cradle robber and she’s a wheelchair robber. |
Anonymous
|
OP, you are bringing a lot of prejudices into this.
Cheaters do not cheat because they are young, wealthy, attractive, etc. They cheat because they decide they want to cheat. The woman in this scenario may be interested in your husband, or maybe not. But her job, age, wealth, the available men around probably are not good enough clues. In my experience, people who cheat only cheat because they want to. There is no good reason to have an affair with a married person, and you have to be majorly f-ed up despite holding your appearance together. |
Anonymous
| I am going to join in with prior poster and say trust your gut. The fact that she is a nice person, volunteers, etc. is not at all connected to whether she could have a crush on your husband. The woman who had an emotional affair with my husband was very friendly to us both and wanted me to join her book group six months before. Hell she invited me to lunch a year before (and I went!) Trust your gut, tell him how you feel. |
Anonymous
| How did they meet? Seems very weird. |
Anonymous
| I went through this about ten years ago. My DH, who was in his mid 50’s at the time, was very chummy with a young, single investment banker in her early 30’s. She was very smart and pretty and my DH was very successful and I did worry about what might be happening. But they were just really good friends and he became like a father/mentor to her. Now she is married with three children and they continue to be very chummy. I still don’t fully understand their relationship but I’ve met her a few times and really like her so I’m not going to question my DH. I’m pretty sure she is like the daughter he’s never had. |
Anonymous
I think some people cheat simply due to opportunity and a reduced or absent ability to resist. So if this woman is sending him signals that she would enjoy a romp with him I hope he is not so weak as to be unable to resist that temptation. It could be just a moment of weakness. Or it could be an extended period of weakness. Either way he would probably regret it later but of course then it would be too late. Good luck OP. |
Anonymous
| Lol, she definitely doesn’t want to sleep with him. She’s networking/lightly flirting to advance her career. 30 year olds don’t have any interest in banging grandpas. |
Anonymous
| You should be concerned. |