Husband wants to live without WiFi at home

[Anonymous]

I am a stay-at-home mom. We live in an apartment community with a nice lobby that has WiFi. My husband thinks instead of having internet at home we should use the internet in the lobby instead. I tried this option but it's a pain to walk over to the lobby every time I want to use the internet. I have to bring our 1 year old daughter. They also play very loud music in the lobby which makes it hard to focus. My husband uses his iPhone data all the time at home but yet he says we shouldn't have internet because I am addicted to the internet. I do not have a smart phone so that means no data. We do not have a tv and I cannot pick up NPR on my radio. We also moved recently and I am pregnant. I am so isolated already. My husband has internet at work. I think he's being unsupportive and hypocritical. There's no way he would stay home without internet access. I ordered the internet today without his permission. It's $50 per month. I am not sure how to handle this. Should I pay the expense myself even though I do not have a job? Should I keep WiFi password a secret from my husband? This whole situation is messed up.

[Anonymous]

So messed up. It sounds like he wants you isolated. Do you agree with that?

[Anonymous]

He's insane. It's 2019.

Pay yourself? You don't have joint banking?

[Anonymous]

Op here. I also wanted to mention the lobby is only open until 5pm. I have to sit outside of the lobby if I need internet access after 5pm. I miss watching movies online. It's a way for me to relax. I never had the tv on 247 in our last place. It was something I did when our daughter was sleeping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So messed up. It sounds like he wants you isolated. Do you agree with that?

Op here. I know it's so sad. Why were he want his pregnant wife to be isolated and depressed. I don't understand his reasoning. It sounds very selfish to me.

[Anonymous]

He sounds really controlling.

[Anonymous]

This sounds controlling but the set up of your marriage is that he has all the power.

[Anonymous]

OP there is more here that you're not telling us. Impossible to give helpful advice because there are details we don't know.

Is he just being cheap? Is he always like this? Is he totally clueless in other areas?
What is your communication like in general?

[Anonymous]

This is insane, OP. Is your husband this controlling about everything? Why don’t you have a smartphone?

I would focus on building connections and making friends with other moms so you can make a plan to leave him if needed.

[Anonymous]

You don’t have a WiFi problem, you have a spouse problem. He’s either hopelessly cheap or hopelessly controlling. Unfortunately I think it’s the latter because he’s accusing you of “being addicted”.

Why do women marry these people and procreate with them? I don’t get it. This can’t be the first sign.

[Anonymous]

Dan, I gave your idea of using the lobby internet at try but it did not work for me. I ordered home wifi today at a cost of $50/month. I am willing to find another area to cut expenses in if this does not fit in our budget. If he does not accept this , I would say you need counseling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is insane, OP. Is your husband this controlling about everything? Why don’t you have a smartphone?

I would focus on building connections and making friends with other moms so you can make a plan to leave him if needed.

+1 And it's not that he doesn't want wifi for your household, he just wants you not have wifi. Do you have family or friends you can talk to about your marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP there is more here that you're not telling us. Impossible to give helpful advice because there are details we don't know.

Is he just being cheap? Is he always like this? Is he totally clueless in other areas?
What is your communication like in general?

Op here. I have explained to him that not having the internet is too isolating for me. It means that I also cannot watch tv at all. I have made it obvious that using internet in the lobby is not working for me but he simply doesn't care. He also gets upset if I use his phone to check my email because I do not have internet access on mine! Every morning and evening he sits on the sofa staring at his phone. It's like he's blind to what he has become. I pay for my own cell phone service because he's too cheap to add me onto his iPhone plan. He's has the latest iPhone.

[Anonymous]

So he has wifi at work and a smartphone to access the internet at home and you don’t because “you are addicted”? Time to make a plan to return to work. This man is trying to control you and it will only get worse.

[Anonymous]

He sounds very controlling and he's clearly trying to isolate you. That is often a red flag for abuse -- controlling leads to emotional abuse leads (sometimes) to physical abuse. Please be careful, OP. Can you run this by a family member or friend who loves you? What do they think of him?