Husband wants to live without WiFi at home

[Anonymous]

Last two posters: you’re trolls whether you admit it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's controlling and emotionally abusive. Do you have family and/or friends in the area?

No. I have absolutely no one here. It's also not easy to make friends here because the majority of the population where I live isn't American. We live in the US but it feels like another country. It's all immigrants.

DP.. I was with you until this statement. Why can't you make friends with immigrants?

Get a job. Maybe you will get to know more immigrants and become friends with them.

I'm thinking your husband feels that since you aren't working at all, you don't get to have any money spent on non essentials. That's controlling, but, I have to say, your statement above turned me off, and I probably wouldn't be friends with you either.

--signed an immigrant who is "Americanized"

You need the internet. Your husband sounds controlling and there are some pretty big red flags you need to address if he refuses to pay for internet.

If you don't like the area you are living in perhaps you need to move. I'm not sure why you can't make friends with immigrants, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume they speak in other languages and you find it hard to connect. If it's because you don't like immigrants then that's extremely off putting to me.

I think you really need to think hard about where you want your life to go. Is your husband caring at all? If you have a child and need to look up doctors phone numbers or even just other child caring related matters like tips for better sleeping, you can't be walking down to the lobby whilst your child is sleeping. This isn't going to work.

Op here. Yes we're truly in another world. Most of the moms work and have grandparents take care of the children during the day so it's hard to connect with other moms. The grandparents/ nannies do not speak English well. I have lived in many cities. This one is truly very different. Traffic is horrible so people stay in our gated communities most of the time. I will look for meetup groups. I think there will be more Americans in another part of the city but it's about 40 minutes away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's controlling and emotionally abusive. Do you have family and/or friends in the area?

No. I have absolutely no one here. It's also not easy to make friends here because the majority of the population where I live isn't American. We live in the US but it feels like another country. It's all immigrants.

DP.. I was with you until this statement. Why can't you make friends with immigrants?

Get a job. Maybe you will get to know more immigrants and become friends with them.

I'm thinking your husband feels that since you aren't working at all, you don't get to have any money spent on non essentials. That's controlling, but, I have to say, your statement above turned me off, and I probably wouldn't be friends with you either.

--signed an immigrant who is "Americanized"

You need the internet. Your husband sounds controlling and there are some pretty big red flags you need to address if he refuses to pay for internet.

If you don't like the area you are living in perhaps you need to move. I'm not sure why you can't make friends with immigrants, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume they speak in other languages and you find it hard to connect. If it's because you don't like immigrants then that's extremely off putting to me.

I think you really need to think hard about where you want your life to go. Is your husband caring at all? If you have a child and need to look up doctors phone numbers or even just other child caring related matters like tips for better sleeping, you can't be walking down to the lobby whilst your child is sleeping. This isn't going to work.

Op here. Yes we're truly in another world. Most of the moms work and have grandparents take care of the children during the day so it's hard to connect with other moms. The grandparents/ nannies do not speak English well. I have lived in many cities. This one is truly very different. Traffic is horrible so people stay in our gated communities most of the time. I will look for meetup groups. I think there will be more Americans in another part of the city but it's about 40 minutes away.

You have to be a troll. What area with a 40min radius is so heavily populated with only immigrants?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's controlling and emotionally abusive. Do you have family and/or friends in the area?

No. I have absolutely no one here. It's also not easy to make friends here because the majority of the population where I live isn't American. We live in the US but it feels like another country. It's all immigrants.

DP.. I was with you until this statement. Why can't you make friends with immigrants?

Get a job. Maybe you will get to know more immigrants and become friends with them.

I'm thinking your husband feels that since you aren't working at all, you don't get to have any money spent on non essentials. That's controlling, but, I have to say, your statement above turned me off, and I probably wouldn't be friends with you either.

--signed an immigrant who is "Americanized"

You need the internet. Your husband sounds controlling and there are some pretty big red flags you need to address if he refuses to pay for internet.

If you don't like the area you are living in perhaps you need to move. I'm not sure why you can't make friends with immigrants, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume they speak in other languages and you find it hard to connect. If it's because you don't like immigrants then that's extremely off putting to me.

I think you really need to think hard about where you want your life to go. Is your husband caring at all? If you have a child and need to look up doctors phone numbers or even just other child caring related matters like tips for better sleeping, you can't be walking down to the lobby whilst your child is sleeping. This isn't going to work.

Op here. Yes we're truly in another world. Most of the moms work and have grandparents take care of the children during the day so it's hard to connect with other moms. The grandparents/ nannies do not speak English well. I have lived in many cities. This one is truly very different. Traffic is horrible so people stay in our gated communities most of the time. I will look for meetup groups. I think there will be more Americans in another part of the city but it's about 40 minutes away.

Could be El Paso - the East side of the city is heavily Hispanic. The people are really nice, but they have their families as part of their social life. The Western side of El Paso is also heavily Hispanic, but also where most of the white population lives. It could easily take 40 minutes to get from one side to the other.
You have to be a troll. What area with a 40min radius is so heavily populated with only immigrants?

[Anonymous]

Sounds messed up. It wouldn’t fly in our house.
My DH might cut the cord for TV if I was on board, but I’m not. When he complains it’s expensive I just say: good thing I have a job. It sounds like this is a control issue for your DH.

[Anonymous]

Before I lived with my now-DH (which was only a couple of years ago) I didn’t have Wifi. I would go to the library on Saturdays. I enjoyed it. I read more books. I took my dog on nice long walks. I learned how to cook things. I wasted so much less time. Why don’t you get a smartphone? That would be helpful. But you don’t NEED WiFi, no matter how much you think you do. There are so many other fun and constructive ways to pass the time.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe what I am reading... no WiFi at home is now considered abuse??? You have no idea what real abuse is like. How did we ever survive the 90s. SMH. More people are online these days, but they are also more lonely! No WiFi is a blessing in disguise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe what I am reading... no WiFi at home is now considered abuse??? You have no idea what real abuse is like. How did we ever survive the 90s. SMH. More people are online these days, but they are also more lonely! No WiFi is a blessing in disguise.

No WiFi, tv, radio, or data or any way to communicate with the outside world beside an old phone for a stay st home mom is controlling. And from the OP dh has data and uses it at home but doesn’t like his wife checking her email from his phone. It’s the one rule for me and another for you that’s the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe what I am reading... no WiFi at home is now considered abuse??? You have no idea what real abuse is like. How did we ever survive the 90s. SMH. More people are online these days, but they are also more lonely! No WiFi is a blessing in disguise.

No WiFi, tv, radio, or data or any way to communicate with the outside world beside an old phone for a stay st home mom is controlling. And from the OP dh has data and uses it at home but doesn’t like his wife checking her email from his phone. It’s the one rule for me and another for you that’s the issue.

+100. Not being to communicate by email on her terms, look up medical or parenting info, or just blue off steam for a pregnant, already isolated, SAHM in a new community, is controlling and cruel. I’m shocked by the lack of humanity shown by the willfully misunderstanding female posters here.

[Anonymous]

Man/husband here. This husband is ridiculous. Stand up for yourself and don't accept this. Tell him you want the wi-fi and have just as much right to communicate as does he. If he does not agree/go along, tell him the consequences will be x, y, or whatever you can that he would miss up to and including divorce. His behavior should not be tolerated and, over the long run, if allowed to go on will lead to other abuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's controlling and emotionally abusive. Do you have family and/or friends in the area?

No. I have absolutely no one here. It's also not easy to make friends here because the majority of the population where I live isn't American. We live in the US but it feels like another country. It's all immigrants.

DP.. I was with you until this statement. Why can't you make friends with immigrants?

Get a job. Maybe you will get to know more immigrants and become friends with them.

I'm thinking your husband feels that since you aren't working at all, you don't get to have any money spent on non essentials. That's controlling, but, I have to say, your statement above turned me off, and I probably wouldn't be friends with you either.

--signed an immigrant who is "Americanized"

You need the internet. Your husband sounds controlling and there are some pretty big red flags you need to address if he refuses to pay for internet.

If you don't like the area you are living in perhaps you need to move. I'm not sure why you can't make friends with immigrants, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume they speak in other languages and you find it hard to connect. If it's because you don't like immigrants then that's extremely off putting to me.

I think you really need to think hard about where you want your life to go. Is your husband caring at all? If you have a child and need to look up doctors phone numbers or even just other child caring related matters like tips for better sleeping, you can't be walking down to the lobby whilst your child is sleeping. This isn't going to work.

Op here. Yes we're truly in another world. Most of the moms work and have grandparents take care of the children during the day so it's hard to connect with other moms. The grandparents/ nannies do not speak English well. I have lived in many cities. This one is truly very different. Traffic is horrible so people stay in our gated communities most of the time. I will look for meetup groups. I think there will be more Americans in another part of the city but it's about 40 minutes away.

You have to be a troll. What area with a 40min radius is so heavily populated with only immigrants?

San Antonio for one. Bexar county is HUGE. The Latino communities I lived in there were welcoming and kind, but they often spoke little English (some, not all) and friendship extended to being a good, kind neighbor. They were friends with family and their church. They also worked many and long hours, so if I had been a SAHM, I might never have seen my neighbors.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm so sorry your husband is making thing difficult for you.

Is he truly controlling and borderline abusive? Or is he just obtuse and perhaps jealous of what he perceives to be "free time" as a SAHM?

I'd pay for the internet yourself, telling him that this was your decision as the one who is home all day and that you require it for the following IN your apartment: basic stuff (shopping/ordering, looking up weather, radio, etc...), will use it for kid stuff (music, kids' tv, etc...) and your own personal entertainment, to which you're entitled. Of course, he can benefit from the magic of the interwebs too!

If his issue is that you and the kids are watching tv all the time, well, don't do that! But if you're listening to the radio, doing normal stuff, and watching a show here and there seems fine with me.

Can you get a PT job? Join some groups with or without the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before I lived with my now-DH (which was only a couple of years ago) I didn’t have Wifi. I would go to the library on Saturdays. I enjoyed it. I read more books. I took my dog on nice long walks. I learned how to cook things. I wasted so much less time. Why don’t you get a smartphone? That would be helpful. But you don’t NEED WiFi, no matter how much you think you do. There are so many other fun and constructive ways to pass the time.

Op here. I'd rather have wifi instead of a smart phone. I can use my laptop to watch tv, listen to podcasts etc. It seems more cost effective. We used to have WiFi in our last place and I was fine without a smart phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe what I am reading... no WiFi at home is now considered abuse??? You have no idea what real abuse is like. How did we ever survive the 90s. SMH. More people are online these days, but they are also more lonely! No WiFi is a blessing in disguise.

No WiFi, tv, radio, or data or any way to communicate with the outside world beside an old phone for a stay st home mom is controlling. And from the OP dh has data and uses it at home but doesn’t like his wife checking her email from his phone. It’s the one rule for me and another for you that’s the issue.

+100. Not being to communicate by email on her terms, look up medical or parenting info, or just blue off steam for a pregnant, already isolated, SAHM in a new community, is controlling and cruel. I’m shocked by the lack of humanity shown by the willfully misunderstanding female posters here.

Lack of humanity because someone doesn’t think no WiFi is abuse? You must live a very sheltered life. Lack of humanity is like they chop off people head because you don’t agree with them.

OP said she lived in a poor area which could mean her family is not rich so perhaps the husband is stingy and trying to save money? Her apartment lobby has WiFi so she’s not totally in the dark. Yeah it’s a bit inconvenient but abuse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was he like this when you guys lived in DC? If not then you guys need to admit that El Paso or wherever isn’t working out as he’s getting mistreated in his own way and taking it out on you.

She can't live in El Paso. KTEP (NPR) broadcasts from the middle of El Paso with a very strong signal.