Neighbor mad I didn’t answer the door. Was I wrong?

[Anonymous]

I work part time and my hours vary, but I’m home sick with the flu today. My car is in the driveway from taking the kids to school, so it looks like someone is home.

I was half asleep on the couch when I heard someone stomp onto my porch, and then loud talking. I figured it was a solicitor leaving a flyer so I stayed put, even though the talking continued longer than you would expect. There was never a knock or ring of the doorbell.

Suddenly, my phone rang from in the kitchen. I got up to look and saw it was my neighbor across the street. She’s older and sort of a busybody, so I thought she was calling to tell me someone was on my porch. I walked to a front room to peek out the window to see if I could see whoever it was walking away, and I saw my neighbor walking back up her driveway. I quickly texted her back and told her I was sorry, and asked if she needed anything. She said simply “never mind”.

I just got a text from her husband that basically said that it’s rude not to answer the door for a neighbor, what if there had been an emergency, that we have kids and they may need a neighbor one day.

I’m feeling awful, but also a little annoyed. Do you always answer your door, even if you are sick? Was the way I handled this wrong? Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Wow. These people are all up in your business. Ignore Gladys and Abner.

[Anonymous]

Eff that. You weren’t rude. You’re entitled to privacy. You can be cordial, it’s a gift to be friends, not a requirement. I would ignore for no reason. If it were an emergency, they could text. They sound obnoxious and I would slow fade.

[Anonymous]

I’d let them know I was sick, and to please phone or text first next time. (No apology needed.)

[Anonymous]

For neighborhood peace I would text back that you were indisposed and hadn't heard the knock.

I would be annoyed and less open and friendly in the future.

[Anonymous]

I would reply "I am home with the flu and was asleep."

No apology needed at all for not answering your door. The assumption that you should be at their beck and call is RUDE AS HELL. In an emergency, they should dial 911.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe you feel bad. I am impressed with your restraint for not telling them off after the rude text. They are 100% in the wrong.

Tell them if they’re yelling for help or bleeding out you’ll call 911 but if they’re just being nosy and peering in windows they’ll continue to be ignored.

[Anonymous]

Your neighbor and her husband were the rude ones.

I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone - they should have texted you BEFORE to see if it was ok to stop by.

They're the one who behaved inappropriately, OP. Respond to the husband and say "I'm sorry I was not able to answer the door when your wife stopped by. In the future, it's best to text me ahead of time to see when will be a good time to swing by."

[Anonymous]

So she didn't knock or ring the doorbell?! Just say you didn't hear it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eff that. You weren’t rude. You’re entitled to privacy. You can be cordial, it’s a gift to be friends, not a requirement. I would ignore for no reason. If it were an emergency, they could text. They sound obnoxious and I would slow fade.

F them!!

I would have told them that you didn’t answer the door becuase you are sick with the eh flu and we’re sleeping.but I would not apologize. What an ass!

[Anonymous]

"Sorry, I had diarrhea and was stuck on the toilet when she knocked."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work part time and my hours vary, but I’m home sick with the flu today. My car is in the driveway from taking the kids to school, so it looks like someone is home.

I was half asleep on the couch when I heard someone stomp onto my porch, and then loud talking. I figured it was a solicitor leaving a flyer so I stayed put, even though the talking continued longer than you would expect. There was never a knock or ring of the doorbell.

Suddenly, my phone rang from in the kitchen. I got up to look and saw it was my neighbor across the street. She’s older and sort of a busybody, so I thought she was calling to tell me someone was on my porch. I walked to a front room to peek out the window to see if I could see whoever it was walking away, and I saw my neighbor walking back up her driveway. I quickly texted her back and told her I was sorry, and asked if she needed anything. She said simply “never mind”.

I just got a text from her husband that basically said that it’s rude not to answer the door for a neighbor, what if there had been an emergency, that we have kids and they may need a neighbor one day.

I’m feeling awful, but also a little annoyed. Do you always answer your door, even if you are sick? Was the way I handled this wrong? Thoughts?

This was your mistake. You should have texted an hour or so LATER "Hi Gladys, I see I missed your call earlier. I am home with the flu, did you need something? DH will be home soon"

[Anonymous]

Seriously you should not feel badly about this. She didn't even knock.

I agree with texting back, I am home sick with the flu.

[Anonymous]

There is no imperative to answer the door even if you are home and feeling great. Esp if the neighbor did not knock or ring.

But you could say you were busy throwing up but would totally welcome a visit as soon as you get yourself cleaned up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work part time and my hours vary, but I’m home sick with the flu today. My car is in the driveway from taking the kids to school, so it looks like someone is home.

I was half asleep on the couch when I heard someone stomp onto my porch, and then loud talking. I figured it was a solicitor leaving a flyer so I stayed put, even though the talking continued longer than you would expect. There was never a knock or ring of the doorbell.

Suddenly, my phone rang from in the kitchen. I got up to look and saw it was my neighbor across the street. She’s older and sort of a busybody, so I thought she was calling to tell me someone was on my porch. I walked to a front room to peek out the window to see if I could see whoever it was walking away, and I saw my neighbor walking back up her driveway. I quickly texted her back and told her I was sorry, and asked if she needed anything. She said simply “never mind”.

I just got a text from her husband that basically said that it’s rude not to answer the door for a neighbor, what if there had been an emergency, that we have kids and they may need a neighbor one day.

I’m feeling awful, but also a little annoyed. Do you always answer your door, even if you are sick? Was the way I handled this wrong? Thoughts?

This was your mistake. You should have texted an hour or so LATER "Hi Gladys, I see I missed your call earlier. I am home with the flu, did you need something? DH will be home soon"

+1

I would reply to the husband - I'm home with the flu, I sent Gladys a text when I saw it was her and she said she did not need anything. Have a nice afternoon.