Neighbor mad I didn’t answer the door. Was I wrong?

[Anonymous]

I hate answering the door for unannounced visitors. Text or call first.

[Anonymous]

I once had a neighbor who disconnected her doorbell because she didn’t want to be bothered. You were not rude. I would like to stop answering the door but it’s a habit that I want to break.

[Anonymous]

Do not engage.
This is not how people start a conversation, through guilt.
Ignore. Do not engage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once had a neighbor who disconnected her doorbell because she didn’t want to be bothered. You were not rude. I would like to stop answering the door but it’s a habit that I want to break.

Are you literally incapable of having the most benign of social interactions? Who knew there were so many weridos who don't want to answer the door?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had a neighbor who disconnected her doorbell because she didn’t want to be bothered. You were not rude. I would like to stop answering the door but it’s a habit that I want to break.

Are you literally incapable of having the most benign of social interactions? Who knew there were so many weridos who don't want to answer the door?

It's not benign. These neighbors think they are entitled to know why OP (or OP's car) are at home when they don't expect it to be. That's snooping. If Gladys texted - I see your car here - everything ok? - without pressure, that would be more benign.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had a neighbor who disconnected her doorbell because she didn’t want to be bothered. You were not rude. I would like to stop answering the door but it’s a habit that I want to break.

Are you literally incapable of having the most benign of social interactions? Who knew there were so many weridos who don't want to answer the door?

I work from home alone and I don’t answer the door. Twice in the past year I have had to file a police report because strange men came to my door and claimed they were from a ultility company and needed to check my gas line in the basement or other shady reasons to come in the house. Both were older white men with unmarked white vans and didn’t even try to show me ID. I told them that if the utility company needed something they would send a letter and schedule a visit. They just shrugged and left. So strange. After the 2nd one, I lock the doors and don’t answer the door unless I am expecting someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Tom I'm so sorry Gladys is offended. I have been sick with a terrible stomach flu all day but I made a batch of cookies this afternoon to make up for it. Can I drop them by this evening?"

What?? No!

NP. That was sarcasm dear.



OP, we need an update.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Tom I'm so sorry Gladys is offended. I have been sick with a terrible stomach flu all day but I made a batch of cookies this afternoon to make up for it. Can I drop them by this evening?"

What?? No!

NP. That was sarcasm dear.



OP, we need an update.

Hahaha I didn't realize how many people would take that seriously. If someone with the stomach flu offered me cookies I would run screaming in the opposite direction.

An alternative similar option would be to not respond to his text at all but to walk across the street and ring their doorbell and when they answer shake their hands and say you were sorry but you were ill, what did they need? And then cough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had a neighbor who disconnected her doorbell because she didn’t want to be bothered. You were not rude. I would like to stop answering the door but it’s a habit that I want to break.

Are you literally incapable of having the most benign of social interactions? Who knew there were so many weridos who don't want to answer the door?

I work from home alone and I don’t answer the door. Twice in the past year I have had to file a police report because strange men came to my door and claimed they were from a ultility company and needed to check my gas line in the basement or other shady reasons to come in the house. Both were older white men with unmarked white vans and didn’t even try to show me ID. I told them that if the utility company needed something they would send a letter and schedule a visit. They just shrugged and left. So strange. After the 2nd one, I lock the doors and don’t answer the door unless I am expecting someone.

I also work from home and unless I know you, I'm not answering the door. Part of it is for safety reasons and part of is that I'm just tired of dealing with solicitors. The meat truck people argue with me when I tell them I'm a vegetarian and I will not be buying meat. The tree guys tell me my trees need trimming when I manage them just fine. The roof guys tell me I need a new roof when I had one put on two years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work part time and my hours vary, but I’m home sick with the flu today. My car is in the driveway from taking the kids to school, so it looks like someone is home.

I was half asleep on the couch when I heard someone stomp onto my porch, and then loud talking. I figured it was a solicitor leaving a flyer so I stayed put, even though the talking continued longer than you would expect. There was never a knock or ring of the doorbell.

Suddenly, my phone rang from in the kitchen. I got up to look and saw it was my neighbor across the street. She’s older and sort of a busybody, so I thought she was calling to tell me someone was on my porch. I walked to a front room to peek out the window to see if I could see whoever it was walking away, and I saw my neighbor walking back up her driveway. I quickly texted her back and told her I was sorry, and asked if she needed anything. She said simply “never mind”.

I just got a text from her husband that basically said that it’s rude not to answer the door for a neighbor, what if there had been an emergency, that we have kids and they may need a neighbor one day.

I’m feeling awful, but also a little annoyed. Do you always answer your door, even if you are sick? Was the way I handled this wrong? Thoughts?

You're never obligated to answer the door.

Frankly, I would just text back "I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm very sick and was not up to answering the door." Depending on your relationship, and b/c I'm a little more direct, I might also say "I don't feel it's rude as I'm not obligated to answer the door for anyone." Or something to that effect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had a neighbor who disconnected her doorbell because she didn’t want to be bothered. You were not rude. I would like to stop answering the door but it’s a habit that I want to break.

Are you literally incapable of having the most benign of social interactions? Who knew there were so many weridos who don't want to answer the door?

I answered the door several years back and had a stranger standing there. The interaction was bizarre and bordered on scary. I called my neighbor b/c the person was acting strange and not wanting to leave. I called the police the next day (at the urging of neighbors). And while this single interaction is an extreme example, the police officer who came to the house told me that you should never answer the door if you don't know who it is. Use the peep hole, window, or Ring (not in existence at the time). Lots of people get robbed, assaulted, etc. by just answering the door.

So, I don't find it weird at all.

[Anonymous]

Laugh at them, OP. Your neighbors are crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work part time and my hours vary, but I’m home sick with the flu today. My car is in the driveway from taking the kids to school, so it looks like someone is home.

I was half asleep on the couch when I heard someone stomp onto my porch, and then loud talking. I figured it was a solicitor leaving a flyer so I stayed put, even though the talking continued longer than you would expect. There was never a knock or ring of the doorbell.

Suddenly, my phone rang from in the kitchen. I got up to look and saw it was my neighbor across the street. She’s older and sort of a busybody, so I thought she was calling to tell me someone was on my porch. I walked to a front room to peek out the window to see if I could see whoever it was walking away, and I saw my neighbor walking back up her driveway. I quickly texted her back and told her I was sorry, and asked if she needed anything. She said simply “never mind”.

I just got a text from her husband that basically said that it’s rude not to answer the door for a neighbor, what if there had been an emergency, that we have kids and they may need a neighbor one day.

I’m feeling awful, but also a little annoyed. Do you always answer your door, even if you are sick? Was the way I handled this wrong? Thoughts?

You're never obligated to answer the door.

Frankly, I would just text back "I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm very sick and was not up to answering the door." Depending on your relationship, and b/c I'm a little more direct, I might also say "I don't feel it's rude as I'm not obligated to answer the door for anyone." Or something to that effect.

+1

[Anonymous]

I lost a neighbor friend a while back because he suggested a door to door Vivent rep talk to me without telling me. The rep knock on my door and I never answered. Then he kept coming back and knocking like crazy for couple of days. I almost called the cops but got so mad one day that I just opened the door and said, "What is it?". The rep explains that the neighbor referred me and so I let him in to give his pitch and bought nothing. Never talked to that neighbor again...

[Anonymous]

My parents were friends with the Harvey family (who were murdered in Richmond when someone knocked and entered their home via the unlocked front door on NY day in 2007). I NEVER answer the door if I don’t feel like it or if I’m not expecting someone. I don’t even answer it for Instacart (they just leave it on my porch). I am probably a bit extreme but you should never feel bad for not answering your door. These neighbors are ridiculous. OP no guilt. I would just ignore them.

If OP doesn’t respond to neighbor’s text and later runs into them somewhere and those wacko neighbors mention it, I would say “Really Susan, I thought you were kidding over being upset about my not answering the door. Ok then”