Is anyone’s DH proud and happy as provider with medium salary?

[Anonymous]

Just curious. Wondering if this works for anyone anymore or truly a thing of the past.

[Anonymous]

What is a medium salary? Half of HHI? Or median HHI?

[Anonymous]

Welll it’s highly COL dependent but let’s say 150k.

[Anonymous]

Teachers probably are. You don't teach for the money.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Federal employee living his policy dream. We have two kids, own a town home, and have everything we need. I make about 80% of what he does.

[Anonymous]

My DH makes about half what he could be making because he wants to be home for dinner and to spend weekends with his kids. (Same for me, actually.) So yes, we are all happy and proud about that choice.

[Anonymous]

Back up. $150k is a "medium salary"? That's a high salary in the DC area.

Medium salary -- indeed median salary -- is $100K for DC.
https://www.deptofnumbers.com/income/district-of-columbia/washington/

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am sorry I was not clear. I meant as a single earner. That is what I meant by provider. Apologies for brevity, I am typing on my phone.

[Anonymous]

If you don't have to pay $40k a year for childcare, which is in after-tax dollars, then your $150k single-income household that isn't paying that is making the same as a $200k dual-income household that is paying it.

If you can't be "proud and happy" with that then the problem is your attitude and expectations not the amount of income you make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Federal employee living his policy dream. We have two kids, own a town home, and have everything we need. I make about 80% of what he does.

Same. Both feds living our policy dreams. We own a house though because we delayed our kids a few year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am sorry I was not clear. I meant as a single earner. That is what I meant by provider. Apologies for brevity, I am typing on my phone.

I don’t think a single low provider can support a family on his own?

[Anonymous]

My DH was a slow starter. He spent a lot of time and money in school and emerged with a lot of debt but no clear career path. When he finally did get into a career he was well into his 30s. He compares himself to his family a lot, and is making more than his brothers and dad, so there’s definitely a feeling that he’s been more successful, if success is measured in salary.

We both know he got a late start and could have made better choices that would have led to a better salary sooner, but we’re both grateful that his work allows us to live comfortably day to day, although our trajectory in terms of savings and retirement is bleak. Hoping to help that when our kids are older and I can return to work full time.

[Anonymous]

Yes.. it's tight, but I would prefer DH not be stressed out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH was a slow starter. He spent a lot of time and money in school and emerged with a lot of debt but no clear career path. When he finally did get into a career he was well into his 30s. He compares himself to his family a lot, and is making more than his brothers and dad, so there’s definitely a feeling that he’s been more successful, if success is measured in salary.

We both know he got a late start and could have made better choices that would have led to a better salary sooner, but we’re both grateful that his work allows us to live comfortably day to day, although our trajectory in terms of savings and retirement is bleak. Hoping to help that when our kids are older and I can return to work full time.

What is your career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teachers probably are. You don't teach for the money.

My spouse and I are teachers. I get what you are saying, but we would never do this job for free. We teach because we get paid.