Is anyone’s DH proud and happy as provider with medium salary?

[Anonymous]

As a couple of teachers, we’re the poorest family among our friends, and I know we are not poor. We’re fortunate. No country club membership. No vacation houses. No extravagances. Our kids work every summer and save spending money for college. We’ve put away enough for college tuition but not for our own retirement. Our kids apply only to state schools because we participate in DC TAG. We need a new car and our house needs a new coat of paint. Are we unhappy? No. We get invited places, and we enjoy almost any opportunity. Our kids are grateful for what they have, and they are considerate of others, especially their parents. They look out for each other. I’ve made many mistakes. Raising children on a modest income isn’t one of them. Many times we have wanted those things that only more money can bring. We’ve felt disappointment, resentment until we’ve been reminded of what happens to people when they get everything they want.

[Anonymous]

OP, you make less than half of your DH’s salary. What’s your excuse for being such a low earner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you make less than half of your DH’s salary. What’s your excuse for being such a low earner?

I followed him around the world for 6 years freelancing while he was doing postdocs. Good enough for ya?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you make less than half of your DH’s salary. What’s your excuse for being such a low earner?

I followed him around the world for 6 years freelancing while he was doing postdocs. Good enough for ya?

No. Take responsibility for your HHI. This is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you make less than half of your DH’s salary. What’s your excuse for being such a low earner?

I followed him around the world for 6 years freelancing while he was doing postdocs. Good enough for ya?

No. Take responsibility for your HHI. This is ridiculous.

NP . Why are you so bitter? Sounds like you're projecting a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can I just say the word "provider" gives me the heebie jeebies. It's infantilizing.

Women view men as ATMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you make less than half of your DH’s salary. What’s your excuse for being such a low earner?

I followed him around the world for 6 years freelancing while he was doing postdocs. Good enough for ya?

No. Take responsibility for your HHI. This is ridiculous.

I am not complaining about our HHI, stupid. Also, as mentioned, we live in one of the lowest cost of living places in the country. YOU are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can I just say the word "provider" gives me the heebie jeebies. It's infantilizing.

Women view men as ATMs.

Not me. 1% all on my own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you make less than half of your DH’s salary. What’s your excuse for being such a low earner?

I followed him around the world for 6 years freelancing while he was doing postdocs. Good enough for ya?

No. Take responsibility for your HHI. This is ridiculous.

I am not complaining about our HHI, stupid. Also, as mentioned, we live in one of the lowest cost of living places in the country. YOU are ridiculous.

If 110k is a lot of money for your area, then what are you really asking?

[Anonymous]

It was stated several times. If you don’t want to read, why bother replying to the thread?

[Anonymous]

I am a man now in my 70s. Had a secure and mostly rewarding govt. job topping our at about $180. Now have a pension of about $140. My wife worked off and on = being a STAHM(?) for a number of years. We also had a small investment income. We have a lovely home in a nice close in neighborhood that we could not possibly afford at today's prices. There were times when we had a real cash crunch, particularly when our kids all had cars and we had costs for private school and college, but once we got thru that all was and is well. We still have possible end of life care to worry about affording, but as I look back on my life, I am very happy with the route we took.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Federal employee living his policy dream. We have two kids, own a town home, and have everything we need. I make about 80% of what he does.

Same here. Fed and loves what he does. My income very -- some years I make double or more of his salary, some years my income close to his. We are happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can I just say the word "provider" gives me the heebie jeebies. It's infantilizing.

Women view men as ATMs.

*some women

[Anonymous]

I work in the renewable energy field and make a bit less than $90,000 per year. It's what I really care about and I think it important. My wife makes it clear that I am an inadequate provider.

[Anonymous]

My SO makes very little money as a tech entrepreneur. It’s a multimillion dollar company in terms of worth but they prioritize recruiting top talent and paying their talent well. He’s happy with what he does, I don’t know if I would use the word proud as he’s super low key and easy going.