I have mixed opinions about pushing the kids. I feel that sometimes parents needs to push a little so kids are not afraid of exploring new activities, learning new stuff or giving up prematurely. I have seen this with my own kids as they were a little afraid/hesitant a little and needed help from the parents initially, but once they got hooked and realized it’s not hard and scary as they imagined, they loved and did more stuff with out much help. If parents don’t provide that initial push, they would never had started on their own. But it wrong to push the kids beyond their abilities and/or unlikely to get the traction or develop interest. Please note that not all kids are same and you need to adapt accordingly. |
Please do elaborate on what you mean by “our community.” |
See, if is all very obvious. The white parents have a playbook which kept them on top. And which they think is the right thing to do. The Asians have a different playbook that they saw. Now that the Asian playbook is winning, whites want to say it is a bad toxi playbook. For a while, whites were embarassed that a minority was doing well. And grudgingly let it go. Then the envy got too much and they started saying you are no longer a minority - let's use the URM weapon to bash them. And here we are. Whatever argument you have - there is a counter. You Asians are just privileged, overworking, cheating, unidimensina, toxic people who need to be replaced. Never mind what your background/income levels are. This is a moment in time to vilify you. There is an absolute problem with the black community which needs to be addressed, but we just have some immigrant kids with motivated patents from Africa and South America being accidental winners here. All power to them. No real impact in areas where there should be. Of course as long as the end result is less Asians. whites are heaving a sigh of temporary relief. There! |
Wait for it. Word salad/conspiracy theory blah blah is going to begin when people are found out. Sometimes truth is the truth. It may very well be a natural reaction - but it comes from a place of envy, not higher purpose or nobility. |
You can't judge based on experience with elementary school STEM electives. I also have been a coach for ES and MS STEM activities. In ES, a lot of parents push their kids into STEM when the kids aren't especially interested. But, the kids pushed into it don't do particularly well. Many drop out by 6th or 7th grade. I'm not sure whether they finally felt comfortable enough to tell their parents that they weren't interested in the STEM activity or whether the parents figured out that their kid was not a strong performer. Kids who are strong performers in Middle or High School STEM ECs generally are there because they love STEM. |
+10000 - this describes the true politics of the situation exactly. |
It's actually driven by the NAACP but the rest is true. White liberals actually care more about racial issues for URM than actual URM. And of course the irony is Asians are an actual minority group but not in academics. |
Northern Virginia families |
Nope. Whites DGAF. When we looked at the application data on an earlier thread, only 50% of eligible white kids even bothered to apply compared to 90%+ black and Asian kids. White families aren’t “envious” at all. The community looked at how this valuable resource was being utilized and it was monopolized by a small group of wealthy middle schools. And there were embarrassingly few URMs or ED kids. 0.6% ED in 2024. Maybe it’s white guilt for building such an unfair system. But it’s certainly not “envy”. You are totally off base. |
It’s not the “pushing” as much as it’s the pushing with a precalculated checklist of activities and tutoring with a singular goal. |
Agree. I specifically discouraged my DD from considering TJ. The culture is toxic. I’m not jealous of TJ families, white , Asian or black. I have a high IQ kid, with a strong STEM interest, who did really well elsewhere. I don’t think TJ would have been better. More advanced classes? Sure, but that’s available in college and there is no rush. |
Introducing kids to new activities is different than signing them up for extensive tutoring and numerous predetermined STEM (and other ECs) at a very young age, expecting them not just to learn and explore new things, but to win at all costs and punishing them when they don’t. |
I disagree. I'm white, and for the most part, white people love the prestige. They just don't want to put in the work like Asian kids do. In this forum alone, there have been numerous threads with parents complaining that their white kids are behind the Asian kids, despite their white kids' superior "natural aptitude." White people want to disincentivize anyone getting rewarded for working harder than they're willing to work. Even in this thread, there are suggestions that the Asian work ethic is toxic, the kids are suffering due to the high expectations, and Asians are doing things wrong because no one is supposed to work that hard in America. The TJ reform is all about taking away any and all incentives for Asian kids to dominate in academics. If Asian kids are knocked down a few pegs or stop trying so hard, it flows that white kids will look better in comparison. White kids weren't especially interested in TJ because it required too much work for too little gain. If TJ gets watered down and no longer has so many strong Asian students at the top of the class, white kids will flock back. |
It wasn’t “driven” by the NAACP. Changing TJ admissions was very far down the list of their priorities heading into 2020. It was Atif Qarni and Scott Brabrand who decided to treat Floyd as the pretext for changes at TJ. Brabrand saw it as his opportunity to get back into the good graces of the mostly white School Board. As Rahm Emanuel once said “never let a serious crisis go to waste.” It became the opportunity for the whites resentful of Asian success to put the Asian families in their place under the pretext of helping other URMs. Of course, they deny that they are trying to discriminate against Asian kids, so they cloak it in reducing the number of kids from “over-represented” schools that just happen to have large Asian enrollments. They further label all those families as “wealthy” families who are “grooming” their kids for TJ, even when the Asian families may have scraped to live in those districts and not have had the means to pay for extra tutoring, etc. The whole situation has been repugnant, and the School Board members who either foisted this on families or cowardly went along with it despite their reservations (especially Tholen and Pekarsky) need to be removed next year. |
And what, pray tell, would I need to be hiding from? |