Thoughts on what to do about Christianity when we're not Christian and currently not active

[Anonymous]

DD is 6, parents separated. Met in a religious community, though currently neither of us are active in any community at the moment. I don't believe what I was practicing before and have been doing self-exploration. I have an answer to what I believe now. However, it was a choice we didn't teach DD the hot-button words associated with our religion as so that she didn't repeat them at school and to friends before she was old enough to understand the risks associated with sharing those words.

However, someone was asked to say grace at dinner today, and DD said she knew how to say grace. That they did it at pre-K (government-funded). And a couple of times this month, including today, she talked about "baby Jesus," and how today was his birthday. Excuse me, who the f*** taught my kid about Jesus? My kid now believes in Jesus because of other people. I know that grace and Jesus are not things either of us would have taught her. I don't have a problem with her learning about other religions and eventually deciding to be a different religion, even if Christianity, Judaism, Islam, etc.

I decided the first time she talked about baby Jesus that I was going to have to teach her my religion. Without her father's help. Just me and her. I don't want to attend a service with her, because the kids activities are few and far between. Or on days I don't have her. Or on the complete other side of the region. I did attend a service this month, but I didn't have her. I just have to make a point to plan and be purposeful and use the appropriate language when I'm doing that. We've been doing a lot of things that are religious, I just haven't been calling them what they are.

I'm just looking for stories about other folks of a minority religion and how they approached these situations.

[Anonymous]

God calls us home in different ways, often through a loved one.

[Anonymous]

Can you say the religion? There may be cultural cues etc. We can advise you in. (And understand the baggage--eg baby Jesus resonates differently for People of Jewish descent vs. Muslim)
Also, I know custody agreements can be comokio. Do you have a anything about it in there?

[Anonymous]

You're not seeing the issue correctly.

We are not particularly religious but I am culturally Catholic and it is very important to me that my children learn about ALL major religions. Not because they need to believe in God. But because it is part of an educated, civilized, cultured, person's background, and such knowledge helps to understand literary references and remember etiquette in food and various cultural practices around the globe. When studying history and literature, knowledge about the rise and power of churches is important. Wars of religion have decimated the world ever since humans started believing in abstract concepts.

6 is a good age to start learning. You can get her a book on major religions.

[Anonymous]

When you say government-funded, you mean like a public school? They shouldn't be saying grace to baby Jesus at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you say government-funded, you mean like a public school? They shouldn't be saying grace to baby Jesus at all.

This. Its one thing to talk about all the religions and share a bit about each holiday but a prayer is not ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you say government-funded, you mean like a public school? They shouldn't be saying grace to baby Jesus at all.

This. Its one thing to talk about all the religions and share a bit about each holiday but a prayer is not ok.

It is entirely possible if not probable that at age 6, the saying grace is coming from from friends/same aged peers sitting at her cafeteria table, not staff or teachers.

Teachers and staff do not eat with kids in public schools.

[Anonymous]

I think the way to approach it is simply to say that people believe in different things and celebrate faith differently. (I guess you were somewhere today where the people you were with wanted to do a Christian prayer? Perfect chance to talk about that.) I wouldn’t say she believes in Jesus any more than she believes in Peter Pan or the Tooth Fairy. As far as she knows, she has merely heard stories. You need to build faith for her to believe something. My concern is that you seemingly do not want your DD to talk about your practices. You are identifying with a religion that has “hot button words that carry “risks” if a child uses them? I don’t know what that means.

[Anonymous]

We probably have a different faith from yours, but my DH and I raised our children in a UU Congregation. One of the reasons was that we wanted them to learn about other religions as well as find a community of individuals that approached faith in a similar way to us.

There are may different faith congregrations in the DC area, there should be one that is close to your current outlook. I would investigate the ones that are close to your outlook and try to find a community.

Kids will talk at school and your child will now be learning more and more from her school as well has her peers. You cannot control all that your child learns or hears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God calls us home in different ways, often through a loved one.

OH, so you think the "loved one" learning about Jesus will convert the mother?

God's will, I suppose, or God works in mysterious ways -- as long as it's the Christian God, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God calls us home in different ways, often through a loved one.

OH, so you think the "loved one" learning about Jesus will convert the mother?

God's will, I suppose, or God works in mysterious ways -- as long as it's the Christian God, right?

Well, since OPs entire thread premise is about her daughter expressing an interest in Christianity when OP does not have any faith, then yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you say government-funded, you mean like a public school? They shouldn't be saying grace to baby Jesus at all.

This. Its one thing to talk about all the religions and share a bit about each holiday but a prayer is not ok.

It is entirely possible if not probable that at age 6, the saying grace is coming from from friends/same aged peers sitting at her cafeteria table, not staff or teachers.

Teachers and staff do not eat with kids in public schools.

OP specifically mentioned pre-K.

I work in a job that has taken me into many different preschool settings. I've never seen a child introduce saying grace out loud into a situation where they weren't prompted by an adult. On the other hand, starting the meal with a poem or saying, is very common practice, and many teachers do cross the line and introduce their own particular religious beliefs into it. I've seen it in public school, secular private schools, and religious private schools (obviously, it's fine there).

In addition, many public preschools receive part or all of their funding from Head Start, which requires teachers to sit with children while they family style. NAEYC has similar requirements. Even schools that don't serve lunch this way, usually serve snack this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you say government-funded, you mean like a public school? They shouldn't be saying grace to baby Jesus at all.

This. Its one thing to talk about all the religions and share a bit about each holiday but a prayer is not ok.

It is entirely possible if not probable that at age 6, the saying grace is coming from from friends/same aged peers sitting at her cafeteria table, not staff or teachers.

Teachers and staff do not eat with kids in public schools.

OP specifically mentioned pre-K.

I work in a job that has taken me into many different preschool settings. I've never seen a child introduce saying grace out loud into a situation where they weren't prompted by an adult. On the other hand, starting the meal with a poem or saying, is very common practice, and many teachers do cross the line and introduce their own particular religious beliefs into it. I've seen it in public school, secular private schools, and religious private schools (obviously, it's fine there).

In addition, many public preschools receive part or all of their funding from Head Start, which requires teachers to sit with children while they family style. NAEYC has similar requirements. Even schools that don't serve lunch this way, usually serve snack this way.

OP here. Thanks for the responses.

As for pre-k, the kids ate breakfast/lunch/snacks together. So I would assume her being able to recite a specific prayer word-for-word is the result of adult-led prayer. This was on a military base.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you say government-funded, you mean like a public school? They shouldn't be saying grace to baby Jesus at all.

This. Its one thing to talk about all the religions and share a bit about each holiday but a prayer is not ok.

It is entirely possible if not probable that at age 6, the saying grace is coming from from friends/same aged peers sitting at her cafeteria table, not staff or teachers.

Teachers and staff do not eat with kids in public schools.

OP specifically mentioned pre-K.

I work in a job that has taken me into many different preschool settings. I've never seen a child introduce saying grace out loud into a situation where they weren't prompted by an adult. On the other hand, starting the meal with a poem or saying, is very common practice, and many teachers do cross the line and introduce their own particular religious beliefs into it. I've seen it in public school, secular private schools, and religious private schools (obviously, it's fine there).

In addition, many public preschools receive part or all of their funding from Head Start, which requires teachers to sit with children while they family style. NAEYC has similar requirements. Even schools that don't serve lunch this way, usually serve snack this way.

That has to be a typo.

Six year olds, even red shirted 6 year olds, are not in PreK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God calls us home in different ways, often through a loved one.

OH, so you think the "loved one" learning about Jesus will convert the mother?

God's will, I suppose, or God works in mysterious ways -- as long as it's the Christian God, right?

Well, since OPs entire thread premise is about her daughter expressing an interest in Christianity when OP does not have any faith, then yes.

OP here. My daughter is not "expressing interest in Christianity" at six. My daughter is repeating what she has been told, not understanding the full context of what is being said. Also, I do have faith. Did you not read my original post? I lost my faith and regained it. It's not the same as before, but that doesn't matter. I have a religion, and I want my daughter to be raised in my religion. While I needed time to sort things out, other adults decided to share their faith with my daughter. Not okay.