Thoughts on what to do about Christianity when we're not Christian and currently not active

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you say government-funded, you mean like a public school? They shouldn't be saying grace to baby Jesus at all.

This. Its one thing to talk about all the religions and share a bit about each holiday but a prayer is not ok.

It is entirely possible if not probable that at age 6, the saying grace is coming from from friends/same aged peers sitting at her cafeteria table, not staff or teachers.

Teachers and staff do not eat with kids in public schools.

OP specifically mentioned pre-K.

I work in a job that has taken me into many different preschool settings. I've never seen a child introduce saying grace out loud into a situation where they weren't prompted by an adult. On the other hand, starting the meal with a poem or saying, is very common practice, and many teachers do cross the line and introduce their own particular religious beliefs into it. I've seen it in public school, secular private schools, and religious private schools (obviously, it's fine there).

In addition, many public preschools receive part or all of their funding from Head Start, which requires teachers to sit with children while they family style. NAEYC has similar requirements. Even schools that don't serve lunch this way, usually serve snack this way.

OP here. Thanks for the responses.

As for pre-k, the kids ate breakfast/lunch/snacks together. So I would assume her being able to recite a specific prayer word-for-word is the result of adult-led prayer. This was on a military base.

Or her friends are reciting it.

My kids could easily recite prayers, poems, etc in PreK (4 year olds). If the kids are practicing Catholics, they will be able to recite "Bless us oh Lord, and these thy gifts....Amen." off the cuff from a very young age, younger than 4.

Military bases are very strict about these things. It is highly improbable that the teachers at a military base CCD are teaching the kids prayers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you say government-funded, you mean like a public school? They shouldn't be saying grace to baby Jesus at all.

This. Its one thing to talk about all the religions and share a bit about each holiday but a prayer is not ok.

It is entirely possible if not probable that at age 6, the saying grace is coming from from friends/same aged peers sitting at her cafeteria table, not staff or teachers.

Teachers and staff do not eat with kids in public schools.

OP specifically mentioned pre-K.

I work in a job that has taken me into many different preschool settings. I've never seen a child introduce saying grace out loud into a situation where they weren't prompted by an adult. On the other hand, starting the meal with a poem or saying, is very common practice, and many teachers do cross the line and introduce their own particular religious beliefs into it. I've seen it in public school, secular private schools, and religious private schools (obviously, it's fine there).

In addition, many public preschools receive part or all of their funding from Head Start, which requires teachers to sit with children while they family style. NAEYC has similar requirements. Even schools that don't serve lunch this way, usually serve snack this way.

That has to be a typo.

Six year olds, even red shirted 6 year olds, are not in PreK.

The reference is to the fact that my now-K daughter was in pre-k when grace was introduced to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God calls us home in different ways, often through a loved one.

OH, so you think the "loved one" learning about Jesus will convert the mother?

God's will, I suppose, or God works in mysterious ways -- as long as it's the Christian God, right?

Well, since OPs entire thread premise is about her daughter expressing an interest in Christianity when OP does not have any faith, then yes.

OP here. My daughter is not "expressing interest in Christianity" at six. My daughter is repeating what she has been told, not understanding the full context of what is being said. Also, I do have faith. Did you not read my original post? I lost my faith and regained it. It's not the same as before, but that doesn't matter. I have a religion, and I want my daughter to be raised in my religion. While I needed time to sort things out, other adults decided to share their faith with my daughter. Not okay.

How do you know it is the adults, and not other kids.

I apologize for assuming she was in kindergarten. I have never heard of a 6 year old in preK. That is usually an older kindergartner or 1st grader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You're not seeing the issue correctly.

We are not particularly religious but I am culturally Catholic and it is very important to me that my children learn about ALL major religions. Not because they need to believe in God. But because it is part of an educated, civilized, cultured, person's background, and such knowledge helps to understand literary references and remember etiquette in food and various cultural practices around the globe. When studying history and literature, knowledge about the rise and power of churches is important. Wars of religion have decimated the world ever since humans started believing in abstract concepts.

6 is a good age to start learning. You can get her a book on major religions.

OP here. And this isn't the issue. I want her to learn about all religions. The issue is that because of our circumstances, we didn't lay down a foundation in our religion, so the things other people are saying to her will become her core beliefs if me or her father don't take steps to correct them and teach her our religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You're not seeing the issue correctly.

We are not particularly religious but I am culturally Catholic and it is very important to me that my children learn about ALL major religions. Not because they need to believe in God. But because it is part of an educated, civilized, cultured, person's background, and such knowledge helps to understand literary references and remember etiquette in food and various cultural practices around the globe. When studying history and literature, knowledge about the rise and power of churches is important. Wars of religion have decimated the world ever since humans started believing in abstract concepts.

6 is a good age to start learning. You can get her a book on major religions.

OP here. And this isn't the issue. I want her to learn about all religions. The issue is that because of our circumstances, we didn't lay down a foundation in our religion, so the things other people are saying to her will become her core beliefs if me or her father don't take steps to correct them and teach her our religion.

You are talking in circles OP.

Share your religion with your kid then. What is your aversion to doing this?

[Anonymous]

What are”hot button words” for your religion? I’m still mystified by what you mean with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You're not seeing the issue correctly.

We are not particularly religious but I am culturally Catholic and it is very important to me that my children learn about ALL major religions. Not because they need to believe in God. But because it is part of an educated, civilized, cultured, person's background, and such knowledge helps to understand literary references and remember etiquette in food and various cultural practices around the globe. When studying history and literature, knowledge about the rise and power of churches is important. Wars of religion have decimated the world ever since humans started believing in abstract concepts.

6 is a good age to start learning. You can get her a book on major religions.

OP here. And this isn't the issue. I want her to learn about all religions. The issue is that because of our circumstances, we didn't lay down a foundation in our religion, so the things other people are saying to her will become her core beliefs if me or her father don't take steps to correct them and teach her our religion.

I was raised by Christian parents, in a heavily Christian country, taken to church every Sunday where I sang in the choir and served at the altar, and attended Christian school, and Jesus still isn't a core belief for me. I think you should be more clear with your kid, and what you believe, and teach her about other religions to counteract the imbalance in what she'll be exposed to by society, but I don't think that the fact that she hears about Jesus means she'll believe in him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you say government-funded, you mean like a public school? They shouldn't be saying grace to baby Jesus at all.

This. Its one thing to talk about all the religions and share a bit about each holiday but a prayer is not ok.

It is entirely possible if not probable that at age 6, the saying grace is coming from from friends/same aged peers sitting at her cafeteria table, not staff or teachers.

Teachers and staff do not eat with kids in public schools.

OP specifically mentioned pre-K.

I work in a job that has taken me into many different preschool settings. I've never seen a child introduce saying grace out loud into a situation where they weren't prompted by an adult. On the other hand, starting the meal with a poem or saying, is very common practice, and many teachers do cross the line and introduce their own particular religious beliefs into it. I've seen it in public school, secular private schools, and religious private schools (obviously, it's fine there).

In addition, many public preschools receive part or all of their funding from Head Start, which requires teachers to sit with children while they family style. NAEYC has similar requirements. Even schools that don't serve lunch this way, usually serve snack this way.

That has to be a typo.

Six year olds, even red shirted 6 year olds, are not in PreK.

OP didn't say that her kid was currently in PreK. She said her daughter learned it in PreK.

I'm picturing something like this.

Someone asks the kid whether she can say grace. Mom is about to say "no, she doesn't" when kid says "yes" and goes ahead and says some kind of Christian grace, OP asks her "where did you learn that?" and kid say "from Miss Katie."

[Anonymous]

Sounds like this is a wake up call to teach your child what you want them to believe. If you don’t do it, someone else will. Your child is not going to have Jesus as her core belief based on a rhyming prayer and the story of the nativity. If you believe they are stories, tell her as such and explain that everyone has their own beliefs, but in our family we xyz.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You're not seeing the issue correctly.

We are not particularly religious but I am culturally Catholic and it is very important to me that my children learn about ALL major religions. Not because they need to believe in God. But because it is part of an educated, civilized, cultured, person's background, and such knowledge helps to understand literary references and remember etiquette in food and various cultural practices around the globe. When studying history and literature, knowledge about the rise and power of churches is important. Wars of religion have decimated the world ever since humans started believing in abstract concepts.

6 is a good age to start learning. You can get her a book on major religions.

OP here. And this isn't the issue. I want her to learn about all religions. The issue is that because of our circumstances, we didn't lay down a foundation in our religion, so the things other people are saying to her will become her core beliefs if me or her father don't take steps to correct them and teach her our religion.

And... what's stopping you from articulating your doubts and your beliefs? Whatever the heck they are? You can say "Well of course God is a man. If he was a woman, we wouldn't be in the mess!" if you want.
What are you going to do when she needs to learn about sex, assault, consent, etc? Your stance on abortion, guns, prisons, migrants, any hot-button topic you can to mention? There are several interesting conversations ahead of you, OP, so you'd better get used to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God calls us home in different ways, often through a loved one.

OH, so you think the "loved one" learning about Jesus will convert the mother?

God's will, I suppose, or God works in mysterious ways -- as long as it's the Christian God, right?

Well, since OPs entire thread premise is about her daughter expressing an interest in Christianity when OP does not have any faith, then yes.

OP here. My daughter is not "expressing interest in Christianity" at six. My daughter is repeating what she has been told, not understanding the full context of what is being said. Also, I do have faith. Did you not read my original post? I lost my faith and regained it. It's not the same as before, but that doesn't matter. I have a religion, and I want my daughter to be raised in my religion. While I needed time to sort things out, other adults decided to share their faith with my daughter. Not okay.

New poster. I also took your original post to mean you weren’t religious. It’s not clear.

In any event, my kids are Muslim. We parents do not practice any religion and we don’t really believe in God. But I did make sure to tell my kids they are Muslim and introduce them to basic religious concepts through picture books and children’s music . I chose ones that emphasized the commonalities among the Abrahamic religions. As they got older, I taught them that most religious people here in the US are Christian. But there are many secular people, and people of other faiths, and one of the best things about America is you can be religious if you want, or not believe at all. And you can choose your religion. It’s not chosen for you. We are raising them as Muslim, but they can choose what they want to believe and how they want to practice when they are older (teens).

Anyway, if you are somehow referring to Islam, I have a lot of inclusive children’s books and music I can recommend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God calls us home in different ways, often through a loved one.

OH, so you think the "loved one" learning about Jesus will convert the mother?

God's will, I suppose, or God works in mysterious ways -- as long as it's the Christian God, right?

Well, since OPs entire thread premise is about her daughter expressing an interest in Christianity when OP does not have any faith, then yes.

OP here. My daughter is not "expressing interest in Christianity" at six. My daughter is repeating what she has been told, not understanding the full context of what is being said. Also, I do have faith. Did you not read my original post? I lost my faith and regained it. It's not the same as before, but that doesn't matter. I have a religion, and I want my daughter to be raised in my religion. While I needed time to sort things out, other adults decided to share their faith with my daughter. Not okay.

New poster. I also took your original post to mean you weren’t religious. It’s not clear.

In any event, my kids are Muslim. We parents do not practice any religion and we don’t really believe in God. But I did make sure to tell my kids they are Muslim and introduce them to basic religious concepts through picture books and children’s music . I chose ones that emphasized the commonalities among the Abrahamic religions. As they got older, I taught them that most religious people here in the US are Christian. But there are many secular people, and people of other faiths, and one of the best things about America is you can be religious if you want, or not believe at all. And you can choose your religion. It’s not chosen for you. We are raising them as Muslim, but they can choose what they want to believe and how they want to practice when they are older (teens).

Anyway, if you are somehow referring to Islam, I have a lot of inclusive children’s books and music I can recommend.

Me again. I was raised Christian and my husband was raised Muslim. I get that this is trickier when you belong to a minority religion. I don’t think many Christians realize how pervasive Christianity is in most aspects of our lives. It’s easier to ignore if you are secular. But it can be difficult to raise a child in a minority religion when Christianity is so culturally pervasive. That’s why I did expose my kids early. And it does require a lot of talking. “Some people say grace before a meal. The one you heard was likely Christian. Muslims say “bismillah ir rahman ir Raheem.” It all means the same thing. Gratitude for having a meal to eat.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God calls us home in different ways, often through a loved one.

OH, so you think the "loved one" learning about Jesus will convert the mother?

God's will, I suppose, or God works in mysterious ways -- as long as it's the Christian God, right?

Interesting, I took PP’s comment to mean that OP was being called back to her religion through her daughter.

[Anonymous]

OP, stop blaming others. If you want your child to know your religion, then share it with her.

Christians aren't going to stop talking about the good news of Jesus just ao your feelings aren't hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are”hot button words” for your religion? I’m still mystified by what you mean with that.

Me too