Thoughts on what to do about Christianity when we're not Christian and currently not active
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Anonymous
This ! As long as your child is going out to school etc they will be exposed to believes and opinions that are contrary or alternative to yours , it’s your responsibility to teach yours to your child. |
Anonymous
PP with Muslim kids. Probably something like Allahu Akbar. An expression of joy in Islam. God is great. Said at weddings and births and other blessed times. It’s been perverted by political terrorists. And that’s how Americans know it. I’ve instructed my children not to say this outside the house. |
Anonymous
| Why are you not educating her in your faith? You seem to have remorse about it now so if it’s important to you, do it! |
Anonymous
Start laying down that foundation now. Stop looking to point fingers at other people. It is your responsibility- no one else's. |
Anonymous
Jihad? I cannot think of many other hot button words. |
Anonymous
I don’t get the feeling OP is Muslim. It sounds to me like she is something less common and accepted, like a Wiccan or a Scientologist. |
Anonymous
This. OPs vitriol towards Christianity and deliberate vagueness makes me think she worships something far darker than either of these religions. |
Anonymous
| OP there is a say in my country: ‘What you don’t teach to your kids, other people will teach them’. In other words if you avoid talking about sex,religion, politics or other sticky subjects (of course in an age appropriate way) kids may end up learning it an other way, very often not in the way you would like. |
Anonymous
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OP here. This is a very valuable conversation to me. I mentioned a couple of times that because of our situation, I dropped the ball. Some pp's are right, that what I don't teach her, other people will.
I appreciate the Muslim pp who talked about gratitude for having a meal to eat. We have something similar in my religion. I just fail to articulate it. Or have failed to appreciate it and now have found the desire to articulate it. I am Pagan. I was Wiccan a long time ago, but no longer. I don't mind being called a number of things. I don't want her uttering those things in school yet. Or witch or magic. Or a bunch of other things. I don't do spells, but think they are fun things we can do with kids at this point, like crafts. I don't want her to do anything we'd label as a "spell" right now, and I certainly don't want her go throwing that word around. I've gotten some ideas from this thread and a commitment to make sure it's our foundation she jumps off from. |
Anonymous
Thanks for the additional info, OP. I get what you’re saying now. I’m Catholic and admit that many people I know of all sorts of faiths would struggle with hearing witch or spell. Particularly newer immigrants from regions where an accusation of doing magic can lead to murder. I think more people could handle hearing about holidays like the solstice or blessings. Pagan is a big umbrella though. DH says it was starting to link up with white supremacist elements in the military when he was active duty, so there’s also that suspicion if your child is still in a base childcare center. |
Anonymous
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OP,
I really cannot believe that a preschool on a military post observed grace. Is it possible that your child spent time with friends in their homes and learned it there? That makes a lot more sense. That and that other children may have shared "grace" at school. It's possible that a teacher may have let kids take turns expressing gratitude for the food, I guess. As for the "baby Jesus," that easily could have come through play. Kids who go to Christian Sunday Schools or in Christian homes would certainly be learning about the Baby Jesus at this time of year. She may even have a friend who was in a Christmas pageant at his/her church. Children do learn things from other children. |
Anonymous
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You created a vacuum, and she filled it with what people told her.
Start taking care of your daughter’s spiritual life and solve this problem. |
Anonymous
Very much this. I teach in a preschool that’s known in our Midwestern community for being one of the only purely secular options. (Even mom’s morning out programs have a religious slant.) We’ve had lots of families register in our program for that reason. And yet. Many of our students are Christian and talk about things they learn at church; others go to a church program on the days they don’t attend my school, and talk about what they learn there. One of my families doesn’t take crafts out of their child’s school bag regularly, and so projects like “my baby Jesus” fall onto the floor when he takes his snack bag out. I had one four-year-old who realized he painted an X on an easel painting, and excitedly told me, “I painted Jesus on the cross!” Children like to share things that are important to them and present in their lives. For some, that means sharing their religious practice. |
Anonymous
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OP, You are denying your children a chance to have a spiritually rich life. They will end up uChristians of the worst sort — vaguely culturally without any attachment to deeper meaning.
As a Member of a religious minority, I can assure you that if you give your kids a meaningful and rich alternative, the draw of Christianity just won’t matter. Elementary school is the time kids grapple with their faith and that all don’t share it. Pick up your pagan ball and run with it. |
Anonymous
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I think you’ve learned an important lesson here OP- kids keep growing, whether we’re ready for that or not.
The rest of the world doesn’t stop, and your DD will continue to be exposed to all sorts of things, even more so now that she’s in school with older kids. So, as much as we would want it, sometimes we can’t wait until we’re ready to talk about the important and sometimes difficult things our kids need to learn. Luckily you learned this when she’s 6 so you can handle things different moving forwRd. |