Thoughts on what to do about Christianity when we're not Christian and currently not active

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is 6, parents separated. Met in a religious community, though currently neither of us are active in any community at the moment. I don't believe what I was practicing before and have been doing self-exploration. I have an answer to what I believe now. However, it was a choice we didn't teach DD the hot-button words associated with our religion as so that she didn't repeat them at school and to friends before she was old enough to understand the risks associated with sharing those words.

However, someone was asked to say grace at dinner today, and DD said she knew how to say grace. That they did it at pre-K (government-funded). And a couple of times this month, including today, she talked about "baby Jesus," and how today was his birthday. Excuse me, who the f*** taught my kid about Jesus? My kid now believes in Jesus because of other people. I know that grace and Jesus are not things either of us would have taught her. I don't have a problem with her learning about other religions and eventually deciding to be a different religion, even if Christianity, Judaism, Islam, etc.

I decided the first time she talked about baby Jesus that I was going to have to teach her my religion. Without her father's help. Just me and her. I don't want to attend a service with her, because the kids activities are few and far between. Or on days I don't have her. Or on the complete other side of the region. I did attend a service this month, but I didn't have her. I just have to make a point to plan and be purposeful and use the appropriate language when I'm doing that. We've been doing a lot of things that are religious, I just haven't been calling them what they are.

I'm just looking for stories about other folks of a minority religion and how they approached these situations.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is a wake up call to teach your child what you want them to believe. If you don’t do it, someone else will. Your child is not going to have Jesus as her core belief based on a rhyming prayer and the story of the nativity. If you believe they are stories, tell her as such and explain that everyone has their own beliefs, but in our family we xyz.

This. You didn't teach your child anything about your religion. And now she's learning about other religions from other people. If you want something else, then start practicing your own religion with her and teaching her about it. FWIW, I think it will be harder if you don't expose her to the larger religious community.

The best way is to be explicit that different people believe different things, and this is what you believe. When you perform a religious ritual or make a food with religious significance, tell her what you are doing and why. Look for children's books about your religion.

Also, you say that you're okay with her learning about different religions, but are upset that someone told her that Christmas is the baby Jesus's birthday. You can't have it both ways. You have to figure out how you're going to deal with her hearing about other religions, including from people who practice those religions, and especially Christianity, because it's the majority religion and often treated as a default/basically secular thing in our culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 6, parents separated. Met in a religious community, though currently neither of us are active in any community at the moment. I don't believe what I was practicing before and have been doing self-exploration. I have an answer to what I believe now. However, it was a choice we didn't teach DD the hot-button words associated with our religion as so that she didn't repeat them at school and to friends before she was old enough to understand the risks associated with sharing those words.

However, someone was asked to say grace at dinner today, and DD said she knew how to say grace. That they did it at pre-K (government-funded). And a couple of times this month, including today, she talked about "baby Jesus," and how today was his birthday. Excuse me, who the f*** taught my kid about Jesus? My kid now believes in Jesus because of other people. I know that grace and Jesus are not things either of us would have taught her. I don't have a problem with her learning about other religions and eventually deciding to be a different religion, even if Christianity, Judaism, Islam, etc.

I decided the first time she talked about baby Jesus that I was going to have to teach her my religion. Without her father's help. Just me and her. I don't want to attend a service with her, because the kids activities are few and far between. Or on days I don't have her. Or on the complete other side of the region. I did attend a service this month, but I didn't have her. I just have to make a point to plan and be purposeful and use the appropriate language when I'm doing that. We've been doing a lot of things that are religious, I just haven't been calling them what they are.

I'm just looking for stories about other folks of a minority religion and how they approached these situations.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is a wake up call to teach your child what you want them to believe. If you don’t do it, someone else will. Your child is not going to have Jesus as her core belief based on a rhyming prayer and the story of the nativity. If you believe they are stories, tell her as such and explain that everyone has their own beliefs, but in our family we xyz.

This. You didn't teach your child anything about your religion. And now she's learning about other religions from other people. If you want something else, then start practicing your own religion with her and teaching her about it. FWIW, I think it will be harder if you don't expose her to the larger religious community.

The best way is to be explicit that different people believe different things, and this is what you believe. When you perform a religious ritual or make a food with religious significance, tell her what you are doing and why. Look for children's books about your religion.

Also, you say that you're okay with her learning about different religions, but are upset that someone told her that Christmas is the baby Jesus's birthday. You can't have it both ways. You have to figure out how you're going to deal with her hearing about other religions, including from people who practice those religions, and especially Christianity, because it's the majority religion and often treated as a default/basically secular thing in our culture.

It's like alternative facts. Each religious group has their own set of facts, with some overlap among groups. It might be a hard concept for kids to understand,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are”hot button words” for your religion? I’m still mystified by what you mean with that.

Me too

I assumed Scientology.