30 year old nephew is upset he can't bring dog to my house on Christmas

[Anonymous]

I don't like dogs. My niece has a dog that has been to my home on about 2 occasions over the years. Her brother got a dog about a year ago (not a puppy) and I decided the two dogs are too much to have over together. They are hyper together. To avoid issues i decides no more dogs at my house. Earlier this year my sister told me nephew said it was unfair his dog has not allowed over since his sister's dog has been over in the past. I held my ground.

Sister texted me today and said nephew is upset the DOGS can't come.on Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Continued from above.

He is upset dogs can't come. She said dogs are family to them. I said nephew is free to stay home with the dogs.

Is my family rude?

[Anonymous]

Also they only.live 50 min away. I am actually angry this is an issue.on Christmas. Sister told me that in the future then she will host all holidays.

She said she will tell niece and nephew that this time they cant bring the dogs. If i dont want them in the future she says it's on me to tell them.
I told her they should never bring the dogs unless I ask them to.

[Anonymous]

Yep. I love dogs but you can’t take them were they are not wanted. Hold your ground.

[Anonymous]

Dogs are not people. They’re animals. Period.

Just tell him he’s very welcome to attend but without his pet.

And no, it’s not rude.

[Anonymous]

You don't have to host anymore! Show up with a pie and enjoy.

[Anonymous]

My mom offered to have us bring our 5 month old puppy and we thanked her and declined.

It would have been stressful with 12 of us and decorations, gifts, dinner, etc. He’s like a toddler in his witching hour at 5pm—dinner time. Also, my mom was being gracious, but probably relieved I said “no”.

We only live 25 min away and crated him 4-8pm. He was fine and happy to see us—peed, pooped, are and went back to sleep.

We did bring him to my sister’s on Thanksgiving and we couldn’t relax.

[Anonymous]

Your THIRTY year old nephew? OP, I thought you were going to say 13 year old nephew.

What a snowflake.

[Anonymous]

I think you should hold your ground.

Having said that, I think the best thing to do is to set that rule up front. The year I got my dog, my brother invited me and my family for Christmas, and extended an invitation to my dog at the same time. I didn't ask, he literally said "Come visit, and bring the dog, I want to meet him!"

So, I made plans, and then on evening of the 23rd, after the car was packed for the next morning, and my elderly mother was waiting to be picked up, when every kennel was full, and Christmas gifts had been bought on the assumption we were traveling up there (ski gear for my kid's big gift, because he lives by a ski hill, gifts for him and his family that only made sense because I was driving up there), he called and said he'd changed his mind because he was worried his cat would be stressed out.

So, if you've allowed dogs in the past, or if your family member has good reason to believe that you would allow a dog (e.g. you told them "bring the dog!") then the negotiations about dogs need to be part of the initial conversation, and not something you throw out after things are otherwise set. I have no idea if you did that or not.

[Anonymous]

Owner of 2 dogs here. I do not understand people whi feel entitled to bring their dogs to other people’s homes. You are 100% in the right OP.

[Anonymous]

Millennials are always upset about something. Let him get upset. He will get over.

[Anonymous]

I have a (tiny) dog, and I only bring her places if the host directly says "Bring [dog]!" (Some do, because she is so small and quiet.) Otherwise I assume she is not invited and she stays home. I would not get all butthurt if someone said not to bring her. Your nephew has some growing up to do (at age 30...).

[Anonymous]

Can be bring the dog but crate it?

[Anonymous]

That's awesome. I love that he thinks he's entitled to bring ANYONE to someone's house without their permission.

[Anonymous]

That’s ridiculous. It’s a DOG. I love my pets but I would never in a zillion years be upset I couldn’t bring them to someone’s house.