30 year old nephew is upset he can't bring dog to my house on Christmas
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Anonymous
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Besides the fact that it's not fair to many dogs to put them in a situation where there are a lot of people, holiday chaos, and likely children.
Years ago my son went to a Haunted Farm during Halloween season. There was an older dog roaming among hundreds of people and he reached over and petted her. Took 12 stitches to close the wounds--and this was a bite through a heavy jacket. A neighbor to the farmer that holds this event told my sister (who had brought the kids to the farm) the dog had arthritis and hip pain (also burrs in her coat, according to my son). Right after she bit my son, a girl with a church group tried to pet her (apparently hadn't seen what happened) and she showed up at the same ER as my son. Then the farmer could not produce proof of rabies vaccine and the county ordered the dog destroyed. I felt bad for the dog, who never should have been put in that situation to begin with. Awhile back a friend with 4 younger children visited my house for several nights. They arrived pretty late in the evening and the kids were all keyed up. I have an 8-yo husky mix who is the world's mellowest dog. When he sees a toddler or a baby he sniffs them, he's been walked inside the house on a leash by kids younger than 2, he likes to give baths to baby kittens. He tolerated all the noise and wild kids but then the three year old tried to sit on his head and he snapped at her--the worst that happened was a tiny bruise on her cheek (say 1/6 of an inch long, I mean really tiny) but she was terrified and we were all upset. There were no subsequent problems with the dog and the children and he accepted their hugs and petting just fine, but there was that moment that was scary. Dogs may be family, but I don't think they have a concept of extended family and holidays and memorable visits. I think they like their familiar places and people. |
Anonymous
| I'm not sure why your sister texted you and told you he was upset. |
Anonymous
To shame her into changing her mind. |
Anonymous
Maybe it's an "anxiety" dog 
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Anonymous
| Are you open to letting them host in the future? I have some family members with dogs instead of kids / part of the family mentalities. The dogs are not allowed at the holidays we host here, so they have taken over some holidays and the dogs have free roam to hang out under the table and do whatever they please. It works for us. |
Anonymous
Sounds like the problem is your sister. Yeah, your nephew shouldn't complain about his dog but he did just complain to his mom. It's the mom who insists on telling you everything everyone else said and is trying to fix it by intervening. |
Anonymous
It's bigoted to say that this person's behavior is typical of everyone else in his age group. Please don't do that. |
Anonymous
+1 Plus, I don't want to travel with my dogs, it's so much more work. Other people's dogs are not invited to our house and we don't take ours to others' houses. |
Anonymous
| What an entitled brat |
Anonymous
You'll get over it too. Millenials ARE extremely oversensitive, aren't they. |
Anonymous
| I love dogs. Love them. LOVE. But how can you get mad with someone who says don't bring your dog to my house? That is peak entitlement |
Anonymous
Exactly. And then to henceforth change the entire celebration without input from the long-time host so that the kid gets his way after all. Sorry OP, your nephew and your sister were both wrong. Of course it's ok for you to set limits for who/what you want in your own home. It was also mean of them to change how Christmas has been celebrated all that time - it's like a slap in the face to your hospitality. They could and should have handled both parts of the problem (dog at your house this Christmas, what to do about the future) more kindly. I'm not a dog person myself, and one thing I've observed about people who are is that they seem to think the ruckus is adorable on a par with parents who find every goofy thing their toddlers do adorable. They seem to truly not be able to comprehend that not everyone is comfortable around their special animal because to them they are SO AWESOME. He seems like the kind of dog person who is as aghast as if you had told him he couldn't bring his child to your gathering. Pets may certainly be beloved and that is wonderful. But your beloved pet is not everyone else's beloved pet. It is ok to have gatherings where only humans are invited, for goodness sake. |
Anonymous
| Is your nephew about to go to grad school and lives with mom and dad? And also never held a job for longer than 8 months, and quit Peace Corps? If so, your sibling is just way more frustrated than you. |
Anonymous
| Sister spent Christmas being in a sulky bad mood. She ruined the day for me and didn’t stay very long. Wow. |
Anonymous
| Your sister is a nut. I have two dogs. They are awesome and well behaved most of the time. However, they are animals. One has destroyed our kitchen floor with her nails. The other peed on our coach last night because she's aging. No, I would never bring them to someone's house. I can't believe this is even an issue. You are 100 percent correct in your position. |