MERLD / receptive expressive language disorder and friendships

[Anonymous]

I'm so sad that my friendly, bubbly 6yo with MERLD can't make friends. She is such a sweetheart and wants friends so badly, but she just can't talk to the other girls at their level. Most are nice to her or at least civil, but of course some of the more advanced kids treat her like a moron. She perceives their condescension and knows they're being mean, even if she can't articulate exactly why. It's so painful to see. She hasn't been asked to a birthday party or playdate all year at her new school. Parents of older MERLD kids - does it ever get better? Did anything help? The more nervous she gets around other kids the more she talks below her level, so it's sort of a vicious cycle. Though even at her best she's still well below her peers.

[Anonymous]

My dd is 4, diagnosed with MERLD. She doesn't have any friends either. I'm curious to see the responses to this thread.

[Anonymous]

DS has severe MERLD and is a teen now. It remains very hard as long as their receptive language is low in my experience. I'd work on developing a small community who can really get to know her, in Scouts or sports or some interest she has.

[Anonymous]

MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my child is older and has friends and very social. 6 is one of the harder ages. Give it another year or two. Birthday parties taper off around 6-7 with the large groups because of cost. Sports and cub scouts are good suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

It may not be in the DSM, just like Aspergers is not but it describes kids with receptive and expressive language concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

It may not be in the DSM, just like Aspergers is not but it describes kids with receptive and expressive language concerns.

+1000 PP should stop beating a dead horse. Both terms still used in common speech, even by professionals. Manic depression hasn't been in the DSM since 1980 but you still hear the term and everyone knows what it is. Only PP insists that anonymous internet forums users follow strict DSM terminology.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

My name is not Mary and I don't post every few weeks. About once a year if that. MERLD may be an outdated term but it's still the one Kennedy Krieger uses (as recently as last year) and I'm sure they know more than you. You are a horrible person - get off this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

Nice try at being a kind human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
DS has severe MERLD and is a teen now. It remains very hard as long as their receptive language is low in my experience. I'd work on developing a small community who can really get to know her, in Scouts or sports or some interest she has.

Thank you - we're trying that and just joined Scouts in the fall. I really hope things get better for your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

It may not be in the DSM, just like Aspergers is not but it describes kids with receptive and expressive language concerns.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, my child is older and has friends and very social. 6 is one of the harder ages. Give it another year or two. Birthday parties taper off around 6-7 with the large groups because of cost. Sports and cub scouts are good suggestions.

Thank you - this gives me some hope. DD has lots of extracurriculars but I notice the same pattern everywhere. Older kids think she's cute, she's drawn to the younger kids because she can communicate better with them, and kids her own age...total no-go. Maybe as she moves through school it will get better...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sad that my friendly, bubbly 6yo with MERLD can't make friends. She is such a sweetheart and wants friends so badly, but she just can't talk to the other girls at their level. Most are nice to her or at least civil, but of course some of the more advanced kids treat her like a moron. She perceives their condescension and knows they're being mean, even if she can't articulate exactly why. It's so painful to see. She hasn't been asked to a birthday party or playdate all year at her new school. Parents of older MERLD kids - does it ever get better? Did anything help? The more nervous she gets around other kids the more she talks below her level, so it's sort of a vicious cycle. Though even at her best she's still well below her peers.

OP - if you haven't already I would suggest continuous, ongoing speech therapy for her, as well as enrolling her in social skills groups. MERLD in my experience is something you have to stay on top of constantly - it's a tricky disorder that impacts our kids in so many ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, my child is older and has friends and very social. 6 is one of the harder ages. Give it another year or two. Birthday parties taper off around 6-7 with the large groups because of cost. Sports and cub scouts are good suggestions.

Thank you - this gives me some hope. DD has lots of extracurriculars but I notice the same pattern everywhere. Older kids think she's cute, she's drawn to the younger kids because she can communicate better with them, and kids her own age...total no-go. Maybe as she moves through school it will get better...

My kid has some minor language struggles still but is learning to adapt. Socially still a drop behind because they missed those important early years but it does get better, especially around 2/3rd grade. I'd pick extracurriculars where speech isn't involved as much. Hang in there... its a complicated disorder as most people don't understand it. But, it does get much much better or at least my child has. I don't really worry like I used to.

[Anonymous]

Op my child is a bit younger (4) but we did see Mary Camarata and one of the things she suggested to build receptive speech and social skills is hiring a mother’s helper to play with our child. The older kid/mother’s helper is still a peer, but they are basically paid to be nice to your child and allow them to get involved in the play scheme. Mary said the kid should “look like a kid” so not a college student etc.
We have a friend with a 10 year old kid who is looking for some volunteer hours, so he’s going to help us. We are excited to try it!