MERLD / receptive expressive language disorder and friendships

[Anonymous]

To the NLT critic:

You use too broad a brush to tar that forum. I'm on it, and I'm not a Camarata alum nor have I ever "doctor shopped." We did Child Find and KKI and private speech and all concurred: MERLD. True, not every child on Natural Late Talkers will have the same profile. Some will have more (or fewer) behavioral issues than yours, and yes, some of the posts might make you go hmmm. But some will present similarly, and those are the posts you focus on and that's where you find your support. In my case, I have a friendly, cheerful, empathetic child who can't keep up with the language abilities of her peers and gets left behind. It is not a lack of desire - quite the opposite. It is a lack of ability. There are similar parents with similar kids on NLT and I'm glad they're there to share progress stories or ask/answer questions.

To the troll who has spent years telling us MERLD parents that we're in denial and think we're better than her:

Stop invading every MERLD thread to tell me my child is autistic. My child's problem is different than your child's. I also feel anguish and sadness that she isn't NT and has a harder life because of it. She can't get what she desperately wants, and I don't consider her problem "superior" to an autism diagnosis, which is what you seem to abhor -- the idea that we MERLD parents think a MERLD diagnosis is "better."

Different kids. Different problems. Get a new hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the NLT critic:

I also feel anguish and sadness that she isn't NT and has a harder life because of it. She can't get what she desperately wants, and I don't consider her problem "superior" to an autism diagnosis, which is what you seem to abhor -- the idea that we MERLD parents think a MERLD diagnosis is "better."

Different kids. Different problems. Get a new hobby.

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

I am so tired of this attitude and it is very unhelpful to parents. While it is true that MERLD is no longer the name of a diagnosis in the DSM anymore, that does not mean that the constellation of symptoms that was formerly described as MERLD still exists, it is just described differently in DSM-5. DSM-V now uses "language disorder' which encompasses what were formally "expressive disorder" and "mixed expressive receptive disorder."

BTW,

Dyslexia is now "reading disorder" with various specifiers as applicable

Dysgraphia is called "disorder of written expression"

Phonological Disorder is now called "speech sound disorder"

Just like over the years "manic depression" has become "bipolar depression"

The APA did remove MERLD because they stopped believing it existed, they removed it because they thought it was more useful to label it in a different way as a language disorder using specific descriptors.

Except its not useful to tell someone your child has a language disorder, especially if they have receptive issues as most people don't get receptive issues and just assume the child is bad, difficult or dumb.

This has nothing to do with label or the type of problem. This is something every SN parent has to learn.

When you are trying to explain your child’s struggles, it has everything to do with t.

If I say my kid has a speech delay people roll their eyes and stop listening to my explanation. Using a more descriptive label or disagnosis, I’m able to get my point across. Not having friends and family understand what’s going on, and trying to explain it has been really challenging, because in general people don’t know anything about SN unless it’s on the severe side of impairment.

Ffs is it really necessary to make a big deal about what label she is using, does it make you feel better bringing this unnecessary explaination in, when OP is looking for advice/support on what her kid is going through? Ugh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

I am so tired of this attitude and it is very unhelpful to parents. While it is true that MERLD is no longer the name of a diagnosis in the DSM anymore, that does not mean that the constellation of symptoms that was formerly described as MERLD still exists, it is just described differently in DSM-5. DSM-V now uses "language disorder' which encompasses what were formally "expressive disorder" and "mixed expressive receptive disorder."

BTW,

Dyslexia is now "reading disorder" with various specifiers as applicable

Dysgraphia is called "disorder of written expression"

Phonological Disorder is now called "speech sound disorder"

Just like over the years "manic depression" has become "bipolar depression"

The APA did remove MERLD because they stopped believing it existed, they removed it because they thought it was more useful to label it in a different way as a language disorder using specific descriptors.

Except its not useful to tell someone your child has a language disorder, especially if they have receptive issues as most people don't get receptive issues and just assume the child is bad, difficult or dumb.

This has nothing to do with label or the type of problem. This is something every SN parent has to learn.

When you are trying to explain your child’s struggles, it has everything to do with t.

If I say my kid has a speech delay people roll their eyes and stop listening to my explanation. Using a more descriptive label or disagnosis, I’m able to get my point across. Not having friends and family understand what’s going on, and trying to explain it has been really challenging, because in general people don’t know anything about SN unless it’s on the severe side of impairment.

Ffs is it really necessary to make a big deal about what label she is using, does it make you feel better bringing this unnecessary explaination in, when OP is looking for advice/support on what her kid is going through? Ugh!

Usually most people will say, oh, Larla has a speech delay and she caught up by 3/4. They truly don't understand when a child is 5-6 and still struggling with speech, especially receptive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

I am so tired of this attitude and it is very unhelpful to parents. While it is true that MERLD is no longer the name of a diagnosis in the DSM anymore, that does not mean that the constellation of symptoms that was formerly described as MERLD still exists, it is just described differently in DSM-5. DSM-V now uses "language disorder' which encompasses what were formally "expressive disorder" and "mixed expressive receptive disorder."

BTW,

Dyslexia is now "reading disorder" with various specifiers as applicable

Dysgraphia is called "disorder of written expression"

Phonological Disorder is now called "speech sound disorder"

Just like over the years "manic depression" has become "bipolar depression"

The APA did remove MERLD because they stopped believing it existed, they removed it because they thought it was more useful to label it in a different way as a language disorder using specific descriptors.

Except its not useful to tell someone your child has a language disorder, especially if they have receptive issues as most people don't get receptive issues and just assume the child is bad, difficult or dumb.

This has nothing to do with label or the type of problem. This is something every SN parent has to learn.

When you are trying to explain your child’s struggles, it has everything to do with t.

If I say my kid has a speech delay people roll their eyes and stop listening to my explanation. Using a more descriptive label or disagnosis, I’m able to get my point across. Not having friends and family understand what’s going on, and trying to explain it has been really challenging, because in general people don’t know anything about SN unless it’s on the severe side of impairment.

Ffs is it really necessary to make a big deal about what label she is using, does it make you feel better bringing this unnecessary explaination in, when OP is looking for advice/support on what her kid is going through? Ugh!

I don't care what you tell your friends. My point is that every SN parent has dealt with the eyerolling, judgments, and misunderstandings that come with a kid who acts differently.

There is only one poster here who insists that that "MERLD" not be used. I am not that poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

I am so tired of this attitude and it is very unhelpful to parents. While it is true that MERLD is no longer the name of a diagnosis in the DSM anymore, that does not mean that the constellation of symptoms that was formerly described as MERLD still exists, it is just described differently in DSM-5. DSM-V now uses "language disorder' which encompasses what were formally "expressive disorder" and "mixed expressive receptive disorder."

BTW,

Dyslexia is now "reading disorder" with various specifiers as applicable

Dysgraphia is called "disorder of written expression"

Phonological Disorder is now called "speech sound disorder"

Just like over the years "manic depression" has become "bipolar depression"

The APA did remove MERLD because they stopped believing it existed, they removed it because they thought it was more useful to label it in a different way as a language disorder using specific descriptors.

Except its not useful to tell someone your child has a language disorder, especially if they have receptive issues as most people don't get receptive issues and just assume the child is bad, difficult or dumb.

This has nothing to do with label or the type of problem. This is something every SN parent has to learn.

When you are trying to explain your child’s struggles, it has everything to do with t.

If I say my kid has a speech delay people roll their eyes and stop listening to my explanation. Using a more descriptive label or disagnosis, I’m able to get my point across. Not having friends and family understand what’s going on, and trying to explain it has been really challenging, because in general people don’t know anything about SN unless it’s on the severe side of impairment.

Ffs is it really necessary to make a big deal about what label she is using, does it make you feel better bringing this unnecessary explaination in, when OP is looking for advice/support on what her kid is going through? Ugh!

Usually most people will say, oh, Larla has a speech delay and she caught up by 3/4. They truly don't understand when a child is 5-6 and still struggling with speech, especially receptive.

Yep exactly.

Or “so and so didn’t talk until <insert age> but turned out fine” it totally dismisses the actual struggles the kids are dealing with NOW and how that might effect them as they grow older, whether or not they “catch up” later on. This is a real sore spot for me.

[Anonymous]

@13:29 I must have misread your post. I thought you were the MERLD denier trying to say that using that label has nothing to do with their kids’ issues, bc it isn’t a real diagnosis.

Now that I’ve read it again, I see you meant something different entirely. My apologies! This is a hot button for me.

[Anonymous]

My teen with a receptive and expressive language disorder also has auditory processing issues, a learning disorder and anxiety, do it's complicated for him and he hasn't had the rosy outcome of so many MERLD kids. But I have found that having a very specific idea of his core issues -- how he receives, processes and remembers auditory information -- has been key in helping him get pinpointed instruction. Everything constantly has to be brought back to that point, and it's so easy to forget, even when you are his parents, that it's all about the language.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My teen with a receptive and expressive language disorder also has auditory processing issues, a learning disorder and anxiety, do it's complicated for him and he hasn't had the rosy outcome of so many MERLD kids. But I have found that having a very specific idea of his core issues -- how he receives, processes and remembers auditory information -- has been key in helping him get pinpointed instruction. Everything constantly has to be brought back to that point, and it's so easy to forget, even when you are his parents, that it's all about the language.

I'm so sorry to hear that your son is still struggling. This sounds like my child. Her issues are so specifically about auditory processing and language, and I can see her anxiety growing as she gets older. I can't imagine what her days must be like, surrounded by kids talking to each other and understanding each other and she can't do either. I'll be talking to her team about the anxiety component next - they warned me this would be the next shoe to drop as she gets older, and sure enough. Are you managing your son's anxiety with any kind of treatment - CBT or meds or anything? If so has it helped? Wishing you guys all the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My teen with a receptive and expressive language disorder also has auditory processing issues, a learning disorder and anxiety, do it's complicated for him and he hasn't had the rosy outcome of so many MERLD kids. But I have found that having a very specific idea of his core issues -- how he receives, processes and remembers auditory information -- has been key in helping him get pinpointed instruction. Everything constantly has to be brought back to that point, and it's so easy to forget, even when you are his parents, that it's all about the language.

I'm so sorry to hear that your son is still struggling. This sounds like my child. Her issues are so specifically about auditory processing and language, and I can see her anxiety growing as she gets older. I can't imagine what her days must be like, surrounded by kids talking to each other and understanding each other and she can't do either. I'll be talking to her team about the anxiety component next - they warned me this would be the next shoe to drop as she gets older, and sure enough. Are you managing your son's anxiety with any kind of treatment - CBT or meds or anything? If so has it helped? Wishing you guys all the best.

Thanks. When my son turned 16 we put him on a low dose of Prozac, a kindergartner's level, then upped it a bit in the following months. It seems to have been a huge help with his anxiety. I was just talking with his caseload teacher today who told me that he's been having a very good year, and participating in games he wouldn't try last year because they put you in the spotlight of answering questions (I think it's like a 20 questions game.)

My son is my hero -- I agree with you wholeheartedly, I can't imagine the pain our kids experience when they see all the conversations around them and can't participate.

[Anonymous]

The point is this is a language disorder not ASD discussion and yes, there are similarities but differences. My child’s needs get overlooked as most do not get it and he can mask a lot between good it and grades along with good test scores. Teachers don’t know or care when there are difficulties and we have a visual learner so no text books is a disaster. When do much is verbal, it becomes as issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My teen with a receptive and expressive language disorder also has auditory processing issues, a learning disorder and anxiety, do it's complicated for him and he hasn't had the rosy outcome of so many MERLD kids. But I have found that having a very specific idea of his core issues -- how he receives, processes and remembers auditory information -- has been key in helping him get pinpointed instruction. Everything constantly has to be brought back to that point, and it's so easy to forget, even when you are his parents, that it's all about the language.

I'm so sorry to hear that your son is still struggling. This sounds like my child. Her issues are so specifically about auditory processing and language, and I can see her anxiety growing as she gets older. I can't imagine what her days must be like, surrounded by kids talking to each other and understanding each other and she can't do either. I'll be talking to her team about the anxiety component next - they warned me this would be the next shoe to drop as she gets older, and sure enough. Are you managing your son's anxiety with any kind of treatment - CBT or meds or anything? If so has it helped? Wishing you guys all the best.

It really depends on the child. Many are ok and learn to compensate. It’s impossible to tell with little ones. Overall, mine is doing well.

[Anonymous]

Some positive stories and links here: https://www.inspire.com/groups/communication-disorders/discussion/merld-success-anyone/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:@13:29 I must have misread your post. I thought you were the MERLD denier trying to say that using that label has nothing to do with their kids’ issues, bc it isn’t a real diagnosis.

Now that I’ve read it again, I see you meant something different entirely. My apologies! This is a hot button for me.

Ok, no problem. That anti-MERLD poster annoys me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My teen with a receptive and expressive language disorder also has auditory processing issues, a learning disorder and anxiety, do it's complicated for him and he hasn't had the rosy outcome of so many MERLD kids. But I have found that having a very specific idea of his core issues -- how he receives, processes and remembers auditory information -- has been key in helping him get pinpointed instruction. Everything constantly has to be brought back to that point, and it's so easy to forget, even when you are his parents, that it's all about the language.

I'm so sorry to hear that your son is still struggling. This sounds like my child. Her issues are so specifically about auditory processing and language, and I can see her anxiety growing as she gets older. I can't imagine what her days must be like, surrounded by kids talking to each other and understanding each other and she can't do either. I'll be talking to her team about the anxiety component next - they warned me this would be the next shoe to drop as she gets older, and sure enough. Are you managing your son's anxiety with any kind of treatment - CBT or meds or anything? If so has it helped? Wishing you guys all the best.

Thanks. When my son turned 16 we put him on a low dose of Prozac, a kindergartner's level, then upped it a bit in the following months. It seems to have been a huge help with his anxiety. I was just talking with his caseload teacher today who told me that he's been having a very good year, and participating in games he wouldn't try last year because they put you in the spotlight of answering questions (I think it's like a 20 questions game.)

My son is my hero -- I agree with you wholeheartedly, I can't imagine the pain our kids experience when they see all the conversations around them and can't participate.

<3 My daughter is my hero, too!