MERLD / receptive expressive language disorder and friendships

[Anonymous]

My DD with MERLD (undiagnosed till she was 14) had a small, tight group of 3 friends in elementary school, but had no other friends. And when they all dispersed in middle school, things got really rocky. She had a few acquaintances from school she'd hang out with occasionally, but none blossomed into a friendship.

For DD it's both having a hard time both getting the conversation, especially in a group, and then being able to coherently say what she's thinking about in response.

Interestingly, she has had two long-term boyfriends, one in high school and another now in college. She is better at communicating one-on-one and has a couple friends at college but hates going to parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

I'm not Mary? But the mom of the four-year-old above and me rld is exactly what my pediatrician put on her referral for speech therapy. Now her IEP says language impairment, so maybe that's the current term.

[Anonymous]

Yes, that sounds familiar. She gets lost in group conversation and leans on her crutches when she does try to join in (quoting movies, playacting, making silly faces or sound effects, etc.) It's excruciating to watch because the kids think she's weird, but she's really just trying anything and everything to be a part of things socially. And that is really the best she can do.

Do any of you think anxiety exacerbates this issue, and have any of you tried treating that aspect and seen improvement? DC definitely talks below her ability when other kids are around -- not nearly as well as she does one-on-one with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

I'm not Mary? But the mom of the four-year-old above and me rld is exactly what my pediatrician put on her referral for speech therapy. Now her IEP says language impairment, so maybe that's the current term.

Language Impairment is an IEP category that covers more than just MERLD. The current term in the DSM for MERLD is "language disorder," which also includes pure expressive disorders.

[Anonymous]

My kid has HFA, but qualified as mixed expressive and receptive language disorder at one point. Now, while expressive and receptive are considered bottom of normal range there still are language issues. He has friends. He had friends even at the worst of it, but back in preschool it was orchestrated by parents. Now he makes friends on his own. Social skills are a work in progress-lots of improvements, but I still see major differences from NT peers. His friends are both kids with special needs and typically developing peers. I do think in addition to ST, and social skills work mainstream at school and regular camps have helped tremendously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

I'm not Mary? But the mom of the four-year-old above and me rld is exactly what my pediatrician put on her referral for speech therapy. Now her IEP says language impairment, so maybe that's the current term.

Her ped. should not be doing the evaluation and diagnosis. Why wait till 4? If its significant enough, I hope you also have her in private speech.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid has HFA, but qualified as mixed expressive and receptive language disorder at one point. Now, while expressive and receptive are considered bottom of normal range there still are language issues. He has friends. He had friends even at the worst of it, but back in preschool it was orchestrated by parents. Now he makes friends on his own. Social skills are a work in progress-lots of improvements, but I still see major differences from NT peers. His friends are both kids with special needs and typically developing peers. I do think in addition to ST, and social skills work mainstream at school and regular camps have helped tremendously.

MERLD kids often do not fit into social skills classes as they are more for ADHD/ADD and behaviors and needs can be very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

I'm not Mary? But the mom of the four-year-old above and me rld is exactly what my pediatrician put on her referral for speech therapy. Now her IEP says language impairment, so maybe that's the current term.

Language Impairment is an IEP category that covers more than just MERLD. The current term in the DSM for MERLD is "language disorder," which also includes pure expressive disorders.

MERLD is also receptive, not just expressive. It means kids have both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

I'm not Mary? But the mom of the four-year-old above and me rld is exactly what my pediatrician put on her referral for speech therapy. Now her IEP says language impairment, so maybe that's the current term.

Language Impairment is an IEP category that covers more than just MERLD. The current term in the DSM for MERLD is "language disorder," which also includes pure expressive disorders.

MERLD is also receptive, not just expressive. It means kids have both.

Yes, correct. But any diagnosis that includes receptive and/or expressive is now in the DSM as just language disorder. Maybe because the distinction is still useful, clinicians are keeping the MERLD term anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

I'm not Mary? But the mom of the four-year-old above and me rld is exactly what my pediatrician put on her referral for speech therapy. Now her IEP says language impairment, so maybe that's the current term.

Language Impairment is an IEP category that covers more than just MERLD. The current term in the DSM for MERLD is "language disorder," which also includes pure expressive disorders.

MERLD is also receptive, not just expressive. It means kids have both.

Yes, correct. But any diagnosis that includes receptive and/or expressive is now in the DSM as just language disorder. Maybe because the distinction is still useful, clinicians are keeping the MERLD term anyway.

A diagnosis of language disorder is pretty meaningless given there are multiple types. Just like giving a generic ASD diagnosis. The distinction is still very useful. Most assume a language disorder is expressive/articulation and don't get the receptive part and just assume its ASD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has HFA, but qualified as mixed expressive and receptive language disorder at one point. Now, while expressive and receptive are considered bottom of normal range there still are language issues. He has friends. He had friends even at the worst of it, but back in preschool it was orchestrated by parents. Now he makes friends on his own. Social skills are a work in progress-lots of improvements, but I still see major differences from NT peers. His friends are both kids with special needs and typically developing peers. I do think in addition to ST, and social skills work mainstream at school and regular camps have helped tremendously.

MERLD kids often do not fit into social skills classes as they are more for ADHD/ADD and behaviors and needs can be very different.

Agreed. Does anyone know of a class or play group for MERLD kids in or near Fairfax County?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

I'm not Mary? But the mom of the four-year-old above and me rld is exactly what my pediatrician put on her referral for speech therapy. Now her IEP says language impairment, so maybe that's the current term.

Her ped. should not be doing the evaluation and diagnosis. Why wait till 4? If its significant enough, I hope you also have her in private speech.

Her pediatrician did not diagnose her. That was the reason written on the referral for the evaluation with speech. There has to be a reason for insurance coverage. She does get therapy and has been for quite a while and also has an IEP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD with MERLD (undiagnosed till she was 14) had a small, tight group of 3 friends in elementary school, but had no other friends. And when they all dispersed in middle school, things got really rocky. She had a few acquaintances from school she'd hang out with occasionally, but none blossomed into a friendship.

For DD it's both having a hard time both getting the conversation, especially in a group, and then being able to coherently say what she's thinking about in response.

Interestingly, she has had two long-term boyfriends, one in high school and another now in college. She is better at communicating one-on-one and has a couple friends at college but hates going to parties.

Just curious- how/why was this diagnosed so late in life? Seems like it should have been flagged-it’s not a mild/not obvious thing when a child doesn’t understand spoken language.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MERLD as a disorder does not exist anymore, but maybe if you post it every few weeks it will be put back into the DSM, right?
Nice try Mary.

I'm not Mary? But the mom of the four-year-old above and me rld is exactly what my pediatrician put on her referral for speech therapy. Now her IEP says language impairment, so maybe that's the current term.

Her ped. should not be doing the evaluation and diagnosis. Why wait till 4? If its significant enough, I hope you also have her in private speech.

Her pediatrician did not diagnose her. That was the reason written on the referral for the evaluation with speech. There has to be a reason for insurance coverage. She does get therapy and has been for quite a while and also has an IEP.

Ok, makes more sense. Our ped cannot authorize therapy, only a developmental ped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has HFA, but qualified as mixed expressive and receptive language disorder at one point. Now, while expressive and receptive are considered bottom of normal range there still are language issues. He has friends. He had friends even at the worst of it, but back in preschool it was orchestrated by parents. Now he makes friends on his own. Social skills are a work in progress-lots of improvements, but I still see major differences from NT peers. His friends are both kids with special needs and typically developing peers. I do think in addition to ST, and social skills work mainstream at school and regular camps have helped tremendously.

MERLD kids often do not fit into social skills classes as they are more for ADHD/ADD and behaviors and needs can be very different.

Agreed. Does anyone know of a class or play group for MERLD kids in or near Fairfax County?

There isn't much for MERLD kids. You could try GW and see if they have groups. https://speechhearing.columbian.gwu.edu/speech-hearing-center