Is this teasing or bullying? Strategies?

[Anonymous]

6th grade daughter comes home every day complaining about boys picking on her. They play keep-away with her sweatshirt. They make fun of her appearance. Last week one snatched a pencil from her and threw it out the window and today a different one mocked her for getting upset about it (she's a cryer - we're working on resilience.)

It doesn't seem practical to complain to a teacher for any individual incident. How do you address this kind of thing and not get branded a snitch? Not that I have a problem with snitching in principle, but it's not a life skill, you know?

Thanks for sharing experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6th grade daughter comes home every day complaining about boys picking on her. They play keep-away with her sweatshirt. They make fun of her appearance. Last week one snatched a pencil from her and threw it out the window and today a different one mocked her for getting upset about it (she's a cryer - we're working on resilience.)

It doesn't seem practical to complain to a teacher for any individual incident. How do you address this kind of thing and not get branded a snitch? Not that I have a problem with snitching in principle, but it's not a life skill, you know?

Thanks for sharing experiences.

This is bullying. There is a difference in power and it is repeated in ongoing. You should tell the counselor. If you are in MCPS fill out a bullying report.

[Anonymous]

I'd say it's bullying.

But honestly, if your 6th grader is crying at school then I can see why she's getting bullied. Not that it should be that way, of course. But you can't show these people weakness. I used to get bullied at that age and it would have been so, so much worse if I'd been crying about it.

You need to work harder on that with her or it won't stop.

[Anonymous]

Is this the same group of boys doing this over and over? It sounds like bullying to me, I'd talk to the school counselor.

[Anonymous]

Prob file a bullying report. MCPS will follow up. We have a 6th grade DS. I would rather he get called out on this now rather than later if he was involved. DH here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this the same group of boys doing this over and over? It sounds like bullying to me, I'd talk to the school counselor.

It's the boys she's been with since kindergarten, not anyone coming from the other elementaries. And to complicate matters, she was in a small elementary school with a relatively tightly knit parent group. Do I reach out to these boys' parents? One of the worst offenders is the son of a couple we used to socialize with. We sort of drifted apart but I'd still call them friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6th grade daughter comes home every day complaining about boys picking on her. They play keep-away with her sweatshirt. They make fun of her appearance. Last week one snatched a pencil from her and threw it out the window and today a different one mocked her for getting upset about it (she's a cryer - we're working on resilience.)

It doesn't seem practical to complain to a teacher for any individual incident. How do you address this kind of thing and not get branded a snitch? Not that I have a problem with snitching in principle, but it's not a life skill, you know?

Thanks for sharing experiences.

I teach 6th grade. Please tell me. I would be horrified if this was going on and I didn’t know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6th grade daughter comes home every day complaining about boys picking on her. They play keep-away with her sweatshirt. They make fun of her appearance. Last week one snatched a pencil from her and threw it out the window and today a different one mocked her for getting upset about it (she's a cryer - we're working on resilience.)

It doesn't seem practical to complain to a teacher for any individual incident. How do you address this kind of thing and not get branded a snitch? Not that I have a problem with snitching in principle, but it's not a life skill, you know?

Thanks for sharing experiences.

Walk away from them playing keep away. She can come home and tell you who took it. Walk away from the rest too. A pencil?

BUT. Her reaction is what can happen when things go too far. This has gone on too long. Talk to the school, those boys need to leave her alone.

Then get her some help with her self confidence.

- Mom of a kid who was bullied to the point of depression and talk of suicide.

[Anonymous]

Definitely talk to her teacher and the school guidance counselor about this. They should have good strategies.

She is being bullied. She will need to learn to handle tough stuff in life, but I don’t agree with the pp that it’s time to victim blame and say she’s getting bullied because she’s crying. What a load of crapola.

Maybe change her routine for coming home, if that’s where it’s hapening the most.

I would not talk to the kid’s parents yet, until you talk to the school.

[Anonymous]

OP here. To be clear, it's middle school. They have 7 teachers a day.

[Anonymous]

And thank you for the unanimous feedback. I wasn't sure it was time to talk to the school. But now I will.

what's ironic is that my daughter has been doing six hours a week of martial arts for the last four years. She could probably wipe the floor with these snots, but her karate confidence doesn't seem to extend outside the dojo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And thank you for the unanimous feedback. I wasn't sure it was time to talk to the school. But now I will.

what's ironic is that my daughter has been doing six hours a week of martial arts for the last four years. She could probably wipe the floor with these snots, but her karate confidence doesn't seem to extend outside the dojo.

That’s strange, because normally martial arts improves confidence and self esteem, even beyond the self defense side. Normally people with high self esteem aren’t chosen as victims unless they REALLY stand out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To be clear, it's middle school. They have 7 teachers a day.

Email all 7. It’s unlikely that the pack travels together all day, but teachers also observe students in hallways and stairwells, on field trips, and in other less structured environments.

[Anonymous]

She needs to toughen up. This kind of stuff happened all the time. I’d be mortified if mommy had to call the school for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She needs to toughen up. This kind of stuff happened all the time. I’d be mortified if mommy had to call the school for me.

*There* you are! I was worried when you didn't show up earlier.