Is this teasing or bullying? Strategies?

[Anonymous]

If these boys don't have consequences for their actions, then sure, OP's dd can speak up for herself, but they will just move on to another target - girl or boy.

They are the ones with the behavior problem. Not OP's dd.

[Anonymous]

If these boys don't have consequences for their actions, then sure, OP's dd can speak up for herself, but they will just move on to another target - girl or boy. The next kid may end up committing suicide. How many kids have been in the news for committing suicide already this year? I see there is a 9 yr old who killed herself Dec 3. Would anyone say it wasn't bullying because they weren't pushing her or punching her? It was bullying.

The boys are the ones with the behavior problem. Not OP's dd. This thread really bothers me because it is so representative of what is going wrong now.

The victim needs to be tougher, the victim needs a thicker skin so it doesn't bother her, if only the victim would walk away. There are always mean people out there...

Just ignoring the elephant in the room which is that these kids are not learning to control their own behavior. They need to learn this now. There are adults who are still scarred by bullying that happened to them as kids. And then there are kids who commit suicide from it, and there are the kids who start out with taunting and bullying and move on to rape or worse when they become teenagers or adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to toughen up. This kind of stuff happened all the time. I’d be mortified if mommy had to call the school for me.

*There* you are! I was worried when you didn't show up earlier.

+1000. PP is either a bully or the parent of one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If these boys don't have consequences for their actions, then sure, OP's dd can speak up for herself, but they will just move on to another target - girl or boy.

They are the ones with the behavior problem. Not OP's dd.

Exactly. The boys are the problem. Please alert the school for everyone's sake. MS is too old to be acting that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to take a martial art... perhaps Jui Jitsu.

Bullying... no, teasing, yes...

She needs to learn how to stand up for herself.

I would call the counselor and have her/him research to see what is going on.. why is she an easy target. Where are her friends when this happens?

OP already posted that she takes a martial art and has for 4 years. My ods had taken many years of tkd and judo, it really didn't matter to bullies. In the martial arts training it is DRILLED in to them to not use it unless they are in danger. School bullies don't really count for that and my kid would have been suspended if he had taken down the bully who had only punched him.

All of this is really coming across as blaming the victim for being different or being sensitive or being a shy, awkward middle schooler. NO!!!

Those kids know they are being jerks, and the school needs to handle it.

You should try jui jitsu, it isn't to teach you to fight bullies, if you think it is then your marital art is not doing it's job.

You can't control other, this is not victim blaming. People suck, they do in middle school, college roommates, bosses. Yes, you need to be less sensitive.

BTW, if my kids get suspended for hitting a bully I would not care 1 iota, nor should you. It's like getting arrested at a sit in for what you believe in.

Where are her friends, btw?

She shouldn’t need to take a martial arts class - just kick the kid in the ass or his ‘wherever’.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To be clear, it's middle school. They have 7 teachers a day.

Which is why you need to address it. No one teacher is seeing it happen all day. Email all seven. Talk to the principal or guidance counselor. In addition to that, talk you ypur chikd about how to handle it. Lack of reaction is best. She needs to practice.