Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
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Anonymous
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My sister hasn't been in touch with mom in more than five years. The end is near. Should she inherit half? My mom says she will do what I want but is afraid to cut her out for fear we will never reconcile. I'm personally not interested in ever seeing her again. Her complaints about our stepdad staring at her are pure BS. He was annoying but never touched us.
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Anonymous
| Not your money, not your business, OP. |
Anonymous
| Yes. And I say that as the only caretaker. |
Anonymous
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Are you sure those complaints are BS?
It’s entirely possible that he targeted her and ignored you. In general people don’t become estranged without good reason. |
Anonymous
| Yes, and you don't get a say. Also, you don't get to tell her she's wrong for feeling whatever way towards your stepdad. |
Anonymous
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You could have your mom designate a set amount as compensation for care and split the rest of the estate in half.
Something like this seems more fair to the person who bore the brunt of care taking without the alienation that results from splitting the estate unequally. I know you want nothing to do with your sister (now) but this leaves the door open to a reconciliation in the future. |
Anonymous
| OMG you are an apologist for a creep. |
Anonymous
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Yes. She gets to inherit equally. I am the only caregiver for my dad and my aunt (two seperate households). They pay for all their expenses. The money of my dad will be split between myself and my brother. My aunt's money will be split between my two cousins. She will probably give some piece of jewellery for me, but she may not.
One thing as a caretaker I have felt keenly is that life is too short to burn all bridges. If you are in a position to help in any way, you do that and be grateful that you are a caregiver not a care receiver. The money belongs equally to the heirs or offsprings of the person. It is just bad on so many levels to cut someone off. This can be never something that a parent wants for their offsprings. Tell your parent that the money should come to both the offsprings and when they breathe their last they will go happier. |
Anonymous
| My will designates a payment to caregivers or anybody that helps with paying my bills. |
Anonymous
| It's your mom's decision. You likely deserve extra for looking after her. |
Anonymous
| There is no "should." You are not owed anything regardless of how you may feel. It's just not your money. |
Anonymous
Maybe not you, but you can't speak for her on this subject. |
Anonymous
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Always 50/50, OP. It's not about the money, or about your relationship. It's that every child has value to his or her parent, even if they haven't acted perfectly. You shouldn't get more just because you are looking after your mother during the last years of her life. And who are you to judge whether your sister felt uncomfortable in your stepfather's presence? What if it's true? Give me a break. |
Anonymous
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Sooooo you are big mad because your stepfather was a molestor and your sister spoke up?
Hmmmm, He need the inheritance all of it so that you can pay for therapy and to buy a damn clue . |
Anonymous
| I'm surprised anyone would get to inherit anything if there is a stepdad |