I'm 50 & creating my first-ever online profile. What is your single most-important tip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are looking for something non exclusive and a guy who will do dinner and sex once a week, you can probably find that. It is more friends with benefits you want. No commitment, no relationship just an evening of companionship and sex. Make that clear in your profile and I am sure you will find some takers. You will likely find you get a lot of older guys responding,

I agree. Just state you want a fwb with a single guy and I think you will be every popular. There are huge amount s of divorced men who would love to have 1 or 3 fwb in their lives.

eh, they aren't going to want to take her out though. Maybe they'll do that the first couple of times but then it'll be all about getting back to the bedroom for some hanky panky.

Why would a guy invest any emotional energy/effort into what amounts to a no strings attached, casual sex FWB arrangement?

There are lots of 50 something men that are lonely and enjoy companionship too. It means sometimes spending the evening doing what interests him but I know a couple men who would enjoy an evening out with a woman and then going back to have sex. It isn't really an emotional investment to go to a movie, or a car show or a restaurant or a concert and it is nice to have someone to do that with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It may easier to find a girlfriend to hang out with for activities. Then have a guy on speed dial for booty calls.

Male feb are tricky to manage. They are still territorial and do not like to fall back when you meet someone. Get a F@ck buddy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are looking for something non exclusive and a guy who will do dinner and sex once a week, you can probably find that. It is more friends with benefits you want. No commitment, no relationship just an evening of companionship and sex. Make that clear in your profile and I am sure you will find some takers. You will likely find you get a lot of older guys responding,

I agree. Just state you want a fwb with a single guy and I think you will be every popular. There are huge amount s of divorced men who would love to have 1 or 3 fwb in their lives.

eh, they aren't going to want to take her out though. Maybe they'll do that the first couple of times but then it'll be all about getting back to the bedroom for some hanky panky.

Why would a guy invest any emotional energy/effort into what amounts to a no strings attached, casual sex FWB arrangement?

There are lots of 50 something men that are lonely and enjoy companionship too. It means sometimes spending the evening doing what interests him but I know a couple men who would enjoy an evening out with a woman and then going back to have sex. It isn't really an emotional investment to go to a movie, or a car show or a restaurant or a concert and it is nice to have someone to do that with.

But Op has pretty much said that there is no interest/potential for the relationship to develop into anything more. The loneliest feeling in the world is being with someone who really doesn't care about you and considers you to be replaceable. Too much work, too little reward in my mind. But if that works for Op and her FWBs that's the important thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It may easier to find a girlfriend to hang out with for activities. Then have a guy on speed dial for booty calls.

Male prostitute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

To the person who said seeing each other once a week is "boring" … That's about how much time I can spare on the regular.

Well, it's not that seeing each other once a week is boring, it's the fact that you are letting someone (who potentially wants a romance with you) know that you'll be around only for 3-4 times a month. That's so dry and unromantic and makes it seem like there's nothing to really look forward to.
I don't know if you realize how hard it will be to connect with people who you see so sporadically.

Seems like you're looking more for a companionship. And that's probably an older age group or much older.

OP here, thank you.

I'm currently in a 2-year relationship where my partner and I see each other about once a week. We've had a very romantic relationship, but now he has to move to the west coast and I'm not able or inclined to do the same. It sounds like you're suggesting this kind of relationship is really unusual? I'd never thought so until this thread

Also — I'm 50. When you suggest that it's an "older age group" that might be into this arrangement, how much older than 50s were you thinking?

You'll see that once you're on line, you'll be mostly approached by 60 year olds or older. Of course there's always some men in their 50's who would date their own age but it's rare and
it has to line up with what ever you want. I wouldn't really insist on that arrangement, just focus on meeting a quality man and go from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you hoping that this 1X date night will evolve to include once a week sex or are you mainly looking for male companionship to eat out, go to movies, maybe dancing etc with? Or are you looking for a once a week night out on the town followed by sex and nothing more?

You know you don't want the relationship to progress to the next level of LTR but what level of involvement are you looking for?

Thank you for the clarifying questions. I am looking for a guy who will want to go out at night once a week on some sort of date (arts, dining, rock climbing in the summer). Then we come home and have sex. Maybe spend the night, or not, depending on work schedules. Once or twice a year, we take a week-long trip together. If schedules allow, maybe we get together for a second time during the same week and cook a meal together, jog with his dog, whatever.

To the person who said seeing each other once a week is "boring" … That's about how much time I can spare on the regular. Serious question that I don't mean to sound defensive: are there really 50 year old women out there in DC who have a lot more time than that to socialize in the evening?

Um, yes. I am 48, no kids at home and can spend my evenings doing whatever, whenever. Are you unable to envisions situations different than yours?

That's fantastic. Do you have tweens or teens who live at home with you? If so, do they have no activities that require your presence/driving? Do you guys like to eat dinner together?

Reading is fundamental.

It wasn't really a question. The contrast is too strong. A woman without kids at home insist that's it's easy to have a lot of free time in the evenings. The OP has to service her kids and prefers dinners with them.

[Anonymous]

OP, you will have no problem finding what you are looking for. To answer your original question, the most important tip is to accurately represent what you look like in some nice photos.

I'm 45 with two middle-school aged kids with me half the time (and at their events on evening/weekends they're not with me) and have dated for the past year a women with two elementary school aged kids with her half the time. There are weeks where we see each other more often (and we took a four-day trip last summer), but once a week is pretty standard and it works well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are looking for something non exclusive and a guy who will do dinner and sex once a week, you can probably find that. It is more friends with benefits you want. No commitment, no relationship just an evening of companionship and sex. Make that clear in your profile and I am sure you will find some takers. You will likely find you get a lot of older guys responding,

I agree. Just state you want a fwb with a single guy and I think you will be every popular. There are huge amount s of divorced men who would love to have 1 or 3 fwb in their lives.

eh, they aren't going to want to take her out though. Maybe they'll do that the first couple of times but then it'll be all about getting back to the bedroom for some hanky panky.

Why would a guy invest any emotional energy/effort into what amounts to a no strings attached, casual sex FWB arrangement?

There are lots of 50 something men that are lonely and enjoy companionship too. It means sometimes spending the evening doing what interests him but I know a couple men who would enjoy an evening out with a woman and then going back to have sex. It isn't really an emotional investment to go to a movie, or a car show or a restaurant or a concert and it is nice to have someone to do that with.

I'm a 50-something guy and I totally agree. I'd do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

To the person who said seeing each other once a week is "boring" … That's about how much time I can spare on the regular.

Well, it's not that seeing each other once a week is boring, it's the fact that you are letting someone (who potentially wants a romance with you) know that you'll be around only for 3-4 times a month. That's so dry and unromantic and makes it seem like there's nothing to really look forward to.
I don't know if you realize how hard it will be to connect with people who you see so sporadically.

Seems like you're looking more for a companionship. And that's probably an older age group or much older.

OP here, thank you.

I'm currently in a 2-year relationship where my partner and I see each other about once a week. We've had a very romantic relationship, but now he has to move to the west coast and I'm not able or inclined to do the same. It sounds like you're suggesting this kind of relationship is really unusual? I'd never thought so until this thread

Also — I'm 50. When you suggest that it's an "older age group" that might be into this arrangement, how much older than 50s were you thinking?

You'll see that once you're on line, you'll be mostly approached by 60 year olds or older. Of course there's always some men in their 50's who would date their own age but it's rare and it has to line up with what ever you want. I wouldn't really insist on that arrangement, just focus on meeting a quality man and go from there.

Depends what the OP looks like. If she's a fit, attractive 50, then men in their early 50s will be amenable to an arrangement with her.

[Anonymous]

Depends what the OP looks like. If she's a fit, attractive 50, then men in their early 50s will be amenable to an arrangement with her.

Not really. This is not real life situation. Most men in that age group will set their age preference to up to 45 , so she won’t even come up in their search.

[Anonymous]

Pics are all that matters. Guys will swipe right based on pics, then they will read your profile.

Seriously. Pics.

[Anonymous]

Put some nice pics out there (tasteful/not too much skin) and write a basic profile, describing what you're looking for and describe yourself. When men respond.....weed out the ones that do not write well or do not take time to get to know you.

[Anonymous]

You need amazing pictures. Any honest man will tell you that this is pretty much all they scan for. You are competing with hundred and hundreds of profiles. Get someone to take great photos of you. At least one that shows you aren't far either.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like a splendid idea, a close friend who shares your interests and enjoys sex, but has his own life to lead. Would you consider a widower?

The rock climbing thing may be a bit hard to match, but from what I have seen of two of my husband's children, it is nice life.

[Anonymous]

Don't overshare.