Do I have any recourse in dealing with a bratty nephew?
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Anonymous
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My nephew is a brat. Not all my nieces/nephews are brats, most are polite and super easy going. But this one is. He is 11. It's not a phase.
Because his family is visiting, I will end up driving him around a few times. That's fine. In my car, the rules is that all electronics must have the sound totally off, or you must use headphones. He will give me crap about it, and constantly complain. And constantly disobey. I tell him the sound must be OFF, not low, because I am driving and that's comfortable for me while driving. He'll keep putting it back on. Last time, I treated all the kids to one of those "Escape Room" type things. He complained the whole time, why we didn't choose one of the other scenarios, after repeatedly explaining that the different time slot did not work out for any of us. He complained about it the rest of the day. The other kids loved it and had no complaints. He'll complain that there isn't any rice or french fries at thanksgiving... and will just eat corn. Sorry, I have enough to do and make and clean - I'm not making you rice or french fries because you won't eat mashed potatoes or turkey or anything else but corn. His parents aren't nitpicky, but they don't do anything about his bratty or rude behavior. Can I just take his phone and put it in the trunk when I'm driving? I know I'll get sh!t from brother and SIL, but the kid's brattiness is their fault. |
Anonymous
| When I host I make sure there is more than one thing everyone can eat at the table. But that is just me. Just suck it up. It is part of being in a family. |
Anonymous
Absolutely. |
Anonymous
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Sooooo, his parents might not like this, but I'd go a little hardcore. On the device - he gets one chance and then you take the device away. If he won't shut up about it, you call one of his parents to come and get him.
If he complains about the outing, you tell him you'll make sure not to invite him to the next one. He's 11. He's old enough to understand. I have a kid that can go to the bitter end on complaining. Sometimes the only thing that has worked is the threat of taking away whatever cool thing she was going to get to do. |
Anonymous
| The phone in the car I would go to the wall on. That’s a safety thing — distracting the driver is 100% not okay. I’d give his parents a heads up ahead of time though. |
Anonymous
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Treat him like a toddler. Be firm and consistent, threat to take away privilege, and be ready to carry out threats. Don't engage in arguing with him, just tell him the rules and dole out the consequences.
He turns the sound on his device while in your car? Tell him you'd take it away if he doesn't keep it off. He turns it off then back on after 5 minutes. Pull over and take it away without saying a word. Show him you mean business. |
Anonymous
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My 6-year-old complains, and melts down, and refuses things he ought to like. He spent most of Halloween night face down on someone's lawn because he was unhappy about something that had happened with his brother.
My other three children are nothing like this. He has an older brother (8) and two younger siblings (5 and 3). Special events, excitement, parties, new people, etc. give him anxiety, and this is how it comes out. Aside from never going anywhere, or always leaving, our only real option is to hope it doesn't happen and ignore as much of it as we can. If he is truly ruining the event, we leave. I don't know if this is your nephew's problem, but "bratty" behavior that seems completely ridiculous (like being negative about the Escape Room) is exactly what my child with anxiety would do; he feels awful, so he's going to come up with a reason why the activity/people around him/world are making him feel awful. We have floated the idea of just not going to family events, and then we are told we are being cruel and selfish not to let the relatives see the children. It is literally impossible to control what a child says or puts in his mouth. So we deal. |
Anonymous
| No electronics in car e CAPT long trips. Is he the youngest. He may never get to pick things and gets frustrated. Give him a choice. |
Anonymous
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Is your nephew an only child?
Do you have kids of your own? I ask b/c, in our family gatherings, all the cousins unite and are so busy talking, playing, comparing school stuff, etc. that electronics are gone for a good 90% of the day (maybe for Roblux at the end of the day). Whiny stuff , like the Escape Room theme, gets ignored. My own kids will turn the tables (on each other and anyone else who is the lone complainer of the group) and go on and on about how way more awesome it was than the XYZ theme. Are you sure it's truly bratty behavior and not anxiety, socially awkward, loneliness, insecurity, or the like? |
Anonymous
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Do you suffer from anxiety or OCD.
Just chillax ... I think I know where he gets his attitude. |
Anonymous
Either they'll back you up, and make the kid behave, or they won't send their kid to visit any more. Either way a win for you! |
Anonymous
Who cares. The answer is the same - "my car, my rules, turn the phone off and keep it off." |
Anonymous
| Ah! The "cool" Aunt with no kids syndrome. |
Anonymous
This was my reaction too. OP - it's a couple of days. Let it go. |
Anonymous
Like he wants rice or french fries and only eats corn. It's weird she even knows what the nephew has on his plate. I have no clue and my nieces and nephews are vegetarian/vegan/have glutton allergies. I don't really care what is on their plate or if a kid asks for french fries. |