Is it wrong to date multiple people?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been interested in both men for a while now and they both asked me out within the last week. I said yes to both dates which happened over the weekend. I had a good time with both and they each asked me out again and I accepted. Am I wrong for doing that? Do I need to pick one right now? Should I tell them about each other?

[Anonymous]

If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

[Anonymous]

I will sound like a prude for this. Guarantee I’m not.

But honestly, I’ve akways felt if you’re kissing someone, or sex, if that’s where you want to draw the line...JUST MAKE IT exclusive. (And you and the person should be clear w/ each other that it’s exclusive).

The focus can help you either identify if it’s working, or not. And either stick around or move on.

If you play, and get it on regularly with 2+ people, it’s just a terrible start to a real relationship, and you often carry things on longer with the ‘wrong’ of the two people.

Again, if it’s not working, you’ll know sooner and move on quicker to the next.

[Anonymous]

I said dating not sex. Dating someone doesn’t automatically mean having sex.

[Anonymous]

Dating, then kissing, then some combo of sex and or serious for people.

1. Dating, don’t worry about dating multiple
2. Kissing, I say exclusive. People have largely moved past this, but I have never regretted making it exclusive at this point.
3. Serious/sex+, YES. exclusive.

[Anonymous]

In our grandparents generation you would be fine even expected to do this. However in our generation people will give you grief for it. As evidenced by the first to responders people do not know how to date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go more than 2-3 dates. After 2-3 dates, it means it's more than casual.

[Anonymous]

Nope. You’re riding with me and only me. If not, move along. I’ll find someone new and better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. You’re riding with me and only me. If not, move along. I’ll find someone new and better.

So you’re willing to propose marriage after the first date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In our grandparents generation you would be fine even expected to do this. However in our generation people will give you grief for it. As evidenced by the first to responders people do not know how to date.

I think you are onto something here. About people not knowing how to date. Op said nothing about sex and yet over half of the replies are about sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. You’re riding with me and only me. If not, move along. I’ll find someone new and better.

So you’re willing to propose marriage after the first date?

It's not that. Couples are involved in a sexual relationship relatively quickly. By the third date or shortly thereafter is not unusual. So, by the 2nd date, most people know if they want to continue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

It’s pathetic to use singleness and childlessness as an insult or indicator of a person’s value. She was right to not be exclusive with you. I couldn’t imagine being married to a misogynistic clown.