Is it wrong to date multiple people?

[Anonymous]

Op here.

I’m not having sex with either of them.


I’ve done low key activities and lunch with both of them. I have a dinner and activity planned with each of them later this week. I’ve likef both of them for a while now and I’m enjoying getting to know them.

I haven’t said I’m exclusive with either.
I won’t have sex until I’m ready to be exclusive.

[Anonymous]

There is no expectation of exclusivity on the first few dates - especially if they are spread out over the course of a couple of months. Feel free to date as many guys as you want because nothing about the relationship is exclusive just, yet.

If you start seeing a guy often - meeting for coffee every day. Going out a lot and spending time together....that is when things start to change. You obviously have feelings for each other and the respectful thing to do would be to give that relationship your full time and attention. See if it goes anywhere. Tell the other (non-exclusive) guys you are dating that you are busy when they call you up to ask you out and if the guy you are seeing actually becomes your boyfriend you need to be honest with the other guys that you have a boyfriend and are now off the market.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

She won at what? Being alone? That's true.

Meanwhile, I have three beautiful kids, an awesome wife, and a life so full I'm booked through May, literally.

Try being less angry. Maybe you'll find a partner to enjoy the ride with. It's a lot more fun than riding alone.


Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

NP. I'm pretty she won, here.

She won because she isn't saddled with a man like you. She won. Your life is not "wonderful" otherwise you wouldn't need to defend it so loudly and rudely, and you are too stupid to figure out the quote function here, which says a lot about you as well. Anyway, you have a better day! I'll keep winning with my life and you keep "winning" with yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been interested in both men for a while now and they both asked me out within the last week. I said yes to both dates which happened over the weekend. I had a good time with both and they each asked me out again and I accepted. Am I wrong for doing that? Do I need to pick one right now? Should I tell them about each other?

Good grief. You have nothing by way of a relationship with either of them, and you are already thinking of limiting your options on account of a man who hasn't done ANYTHING for you. Don't do it. Enjoy the ride. Date both casually for as long as you need to. Every man has something that the other doesn't.

I wouldn't even give you grief for having sex with both if and when you want to do that. This is how you decide which one you like best! And if a man wants you all to himself, he'll make his intentions clear soon enough.

I've been married for many years but in my dating days, I liked dating three men at the same time (a pair and a spare) because it kept me from unduly fixating on any one of them. It's also helpful to delay getting naked with either one of them because I find that this does tend to cloud your judgment.

Date both. Add another if you can! Enjoy your single days while you have them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been interested in both men for a while now and they both asked me out within the last week. I said yes to both dates which happened over the weekend. I had a good time with both and they each asked me out again and I accepted. Am I wrong for doing that? Do I need to pick one right now? Should I tell them about each other?

Good grief. You have nothing by way of a relationship with either of them, and you are already thinking of limiting your options on account of a man who hasn't done ANYTHING for you. Don't do it. Enjoy the ride. Date both casually for as long as you need to. Every man has something that the other doesn't.

I wouldn't even give you grief for having sex with both if and when you want to do that. This is how you decide which one you like best! And if a man wants you all to himself, he'll make his intentions clear soon enough.

I've been married for many years but in my dating days, I liked dating three men at the same time (a pair and a spare) because it kept me from unduly fixating on any one of them. It's also helpful to delay getting naked with either one of them because I find that this does tend to cloud your judgment.

Date both. Add another if you can! Enjoy your single days while you have them.

Here! Here! Love this post!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

She won at what? Being alone? That's true.

Meanwhile, I have three beautiful kids, an awesome wife, and a life so full I'm booked through May, literally.

Try being less angry. Maybe you'll find a partner to enjoy the ride with. It's a lot more fun than riding alone.


Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

NP. I'm pretty she won, here.

She won because she isn't saddled with a man like you. She won. Your life is not "wonderful" otherwise you wouldn't need to defend it so loudly and rudely, and you are too stupid to figure out the quote function here, which says a lot about you as well. Anyway, you have a better day! I'll keep winning with my life and you keep "winning" with yours.

Something about you just screams bunny boiler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

She hoo-ered and you showed her the doo-er.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I said dating not sex. Dating someone doesn’t automatically mean having sex.

You must be new to DCUM, OP.

Dating = Sex on date 3 or dumped to about 90% of this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I said dating not sex. Dating someone doesn’t automatically mean having sex.

You must be new to DCUM, OP.

Dating = Sex on date 3 or dumped to about 90% of this board.

How sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

It’s pathetic to use singleness and childlessness as an insult or indicator of a person’s value. She was right to not be exclusive with you. I couldn’t imagine being married to a misogynistic clown.

Wow, pp really struck a nerve. Aren't enjoying the single childless l
30's lifestyle I take it?

Of course it makes sense that the woman ended up alone after the bad decisions she made. OP is presumably trying to get good advice to avoid being in the same situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

I’m not having sex with either of them.


I’ve done low key activities and lunch with both of them. I have a dinner and activity planned with each of them later this week. I’ve likef both of them for a while now and I’m enjoying getting to know them.

I haven’t said I’m exclusive with either.
I won’t have sex until I’m ready to be exclusive.

Makes sense (as long as this doesn't go on and on and on)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

She won at what? Being alone? That's true.

Meanwhile, I have three beautiful kids, an awesome wife, and a life so full I'm booked through May, literally.

Try being less angry. Maybe you'll find a partner to enjoy the ride with. It's a lot more fun than riding alone.


Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

NP. I'm pretty she won, here.

She won because she isn't saddled with a man like you. She won. Your life is not "wonderful" otherwise you wouldn't need to defend it so loudly and rudely, and you are too stupid to figure out the quote function here, which says a lot about you as well. Anyway, you have a better day! I'll keep winning with my life and you keep "winning" with yours.

Something about you just screams bunny boiler.

Stilll “winning,” I see

[Anonymous]

As long as you aren't lying about dating multiple people, go for it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

She won at what? Being alone? That's true.

Meanwhile, I have three beautiful kids, an awesome wife, and a life so full I'm booked through May, literally.

Try being less angry. Maybe you'll find a partner to enjoy the ride with. It's a lot more fun than riding alone.


Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

NP. I'm pretty she won, here.

She won because she isn't saddled with a man like you. She won. Your life is not "wonderful" otherwise you wouldn't need to defend it so loudly and rudely, and you are too stupid to figure out the quote function here, which says a lot about you as well. Anyway, you have a better day! I'll keep winning with my life and you keep "winning" with yours.

Something about you just screams bunny boiler.

Stilll “winning,” I see

I don't understand this post. You're arguing that women prefer to be alone and childless as they enter middle age, despite all evidence screaming to the contrary?

Bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

I’m not having sex with either of them.


I’ve done low key activities and lunch with both of them. I have a dinner and activity planned with each of them later this week. I’ve likef both of them for a while now and I’m enjoying getting to know them.

I haven’t said I’m exclusive with either.
I won’t have sex until I’m ready to be exclusive.

Have you said that you're being not-exclusive? If saying so would actually sabotage things with the person, maybe it's wrong to also be dating someone else.