Is it wrong to date multiple people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. You’re riding with me and only me. If not, move along. I’ll find someone new and better.

So you’re willing to propose marriage after the first date?

It's not that. Couples are involved in a sexual relationship relatively quickly. By the third date or shortly thereafter is not unusual. So, by the 2nd date, most people know if they want to continue.

Your the one who brought up sex. Op didn’t.

So you are demanding a woman give up all her dating options for you after 2-3 dates. Demanding that she sleep with you. In turn you are offering what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

It’s pathetic to use singleness and childlessness as an insult or indicator of a person’s value. She was right to not be exclusive with you. I couldn’t imagine being married to a misogynistic clown.

Wut? Where did I use her status as a pejorative? You're a misogynist if you object to being with women that sleep around?

lol. OK!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

NP. I'm pretty she won, here.

[Anonymous]

No, dating multiple people is how you find out what you like. Go for it.

And you didn't ask but since everyone else is weighing in on this, too, sex with multiple people is not advised

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In our grandparents generation you would be fine even expected to do this. However in our generation people will give you grief for it. As evidenced by the first to responders people do not know how to date.

I think you are onto something here. About people not knowing how to date. Op said nothing about sex and yet over half of the replies are about sex.

x 2

Shall we properly distinguish this as courting for clarity’s sake? Courting is pursuit of a romantic relationship with demonstrated public intent. Date always meant romantic relationship that was closed to pursuit of other romantic interests at the same time to give the opportunity to explore authentic intimacy with one other person. Engagement means we intend to be exclusive for life. Marriage means we legally bind ourselves with law that will protect the institution of our exclusivity. Sex is sex. And hopefully it’s presence or lack compliments the respective stages accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

She won at what? Being alone? That's true.

Meanwhile, I have three beautiful kids, an awesome wife, and a life so full I'm booked through May, literally.

Try being less angry. Maybe you'll find a partner to enjoy the ride with. It's a lot more fun than riding alone.


Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

NP. I'm pretty she won, here.

[Anonymous]

Dating multiple people is totally fine, as long as you aren't lying about it. You don't need to pick one guy right now, and you don't need to tell them about the other until a few dates in.

Sex complicates things, because it is kind of sketchy to have sex with multiple people, but on the other hand it's expected that people will have sex early on. Ideally you'd delay sex until you are ready for commitment but that's not really feasible anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

NP. I'm pretty she won, here.

She won at what? Being alone? That's true.

Meanwhile, I have three beautiful kids, an awesome wife, and a life so full I'm booked through May, literally.

Try being less angry. Maybe you'll find a partner to enjoy the ride with. It's a lot more fun than riding alone.

ETA fixed formatting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. You’re riding with me and only me. If not, move along. I’ll find someone new and better.

So you’re willing to propose marriage after the first date?

It's not that. Couples are involved in a sexual relationship relatively quickly. By the third date or shortly thereafter is not unusual. So, by the 2nd date, most people know if they want to continue.

Your the one who brought up sex. Op didn’t.

So you are demanding a woman give up all her dating options for you after 2-3 dates. Demanding that she sleep with you. In turn you are offering what?

1) I am the first PP and I am a woman.

2) I was not the poster who mentioned sex although I agree with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. You’re riding with me and only me. If not, move along. I’ll find someone new and better.

So you’re willing to propose marriage after the first date?

No, I never dated more than one person. If I was dating someone I let the “relationship” run it’s course before dating a new person. If I wanted to date a new person I left the first person because that’s a pretty good sign they’re not the one for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. You’re riding with me and only me. If not, move along. I’ll find someone new and better.

So you’re willing to propose marriage after the first date?

No, I never dated more than one person. If I was dating someone I let the “relationship” run it’s course before dating a new person. If I wanted to date a new person I left the first person because that’s a pretty good sign they’re not the one for me.

That’s just silly to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

Misogynistic to the core.


Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

NP. I'm pretty she won, here.

She won at what? Being alone? That's true.

Meanwhile, I have three beautiful kids, an awesome wife, and a life so full I'm booked through May, literally.

Try being less angry. Maybe you'll find a partner to enjoy the ride with. It's a lot more fun than riding alone.

ETA fixed formatting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

NP. I'm pretty she won, here.

She won at what? Being alone? That's true.

Meanwhile, I have three beautiful kids, an awesome wife, and a life so full I'm booked through May, literally.

Try being less angry. Maybe you'll find a partner to enjoy the ride with. It's a lot more fun than riding alone.

ETA fixed formatting.

I’m not PP but I’m definitely sure she won too. And I’m pretty sure his wife is the op of the I hate my husband thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In our grandparents generation you would be fine even expected to do this. However in our generation people will give you grief for it. As evidenced by the first to responders people do not know how to date.

I think you are onto something here. About people not knowing how to date. Op said nothing about sex and yet over half of the replies are about sex.

x 2

Shall we properly distinguish this as courting for clarity’s sake? Courting is pursuit of a romantic relationship with demonstrated public intent. Date always meant romantic relationship that was closed to pursuit of other romantic interests at the same time to give the opportunity to explore authentic intimacy with one other person. Engagement means we intend to be exclusive for life. Marriage means we legally bind ourselves with law that will protect the institution of our exclusivity. Sex is sex. And hopefully it’s presence or lack compliments the respective stages accordingly.

Perfectly stated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dating multiple people is totally fine, as long as you aren't lying about it. You don't need to pick one guy right now, and you don't need to tell them about the other until a few dates in.

Sex complicates things, because it is kind of sketchy to have sex with multiple people, but on the other hand it's expected that people will have sex early on. Ideally you'd delay sex until you are ready for commitment but that's not really feasible anymore.

I’m the courting PP and I agree with most all of this. Basically, just demonstrate good character and respect when you’re spending time with another person. Be honest and clear about your intentions in all of the areas of gray. When it’s gray - say it’s gray! When you want to change direction, communicate.

The process will look different for everyone because we are all searching for a unique compliment to a unique identity.