Is it wrong to date multiple people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been interested in both men for a while now and they both asked me out within the last week. I said yes to both dates which happened over the weekend. I had a good time with both and they each asked me out again and I accepted. Am I wrong for doing that? Do I need to pick one right now? Should I tell them about each other?

Good grief. You have nothing by way of a relationship with either of them, and you are already thinking of limiting your options on account of a man who hasn't done ANYTHING for you. Don't do it. Enjoy the ride. Date both casually for as long as you need to. Every man has something that the other doesn't.

I wouldn't even give you grief for having sex with both if and when you want to do that. This is how you decide which one you like best! And if a man wants you all to himself, he'll make his intentions clear soon enough.

I've been married for many years but in my dating days, I liked dating three men at the same time (a pair and a spare) because it kept me from unduly fixating on any one of them. It's also helpful to delay getting naked with either one of them because I find that this does tend to cloud your judgment.

Date both. Add another if you can! Enjoy your single days while you have them.

Yes. This. You can date as many people casually as you want. I don't know where this whole "you're his after sex" BS is coming from. Unless he asks to be exclusive with you, you're single. Have fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

She won at what? Being alone? That's true.

Meanwhile, I have three beautiful kids, an awesome wife, and a life so full I'm booked through May, literally.

Try being less angry. Maybe you'll find a partner to enjoy the ride with. It's a lot more fun than riding alone.


Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

NP. I'm pretty she won, here.

She won because she isn't saddled with a man like you. She won. Your life is not "wonderful" otherwise you wouldn't need to defend it so loudly and rudely, and you are too stupid to figure out the quote function here, which says a lot about you as well. Anyway, you have a better day! I'll keep winning with my life and you keep "winning" with yours.

Something about you just screams bunny boiler.

DP but agree. You seem like 'that dude' your friend is married to who you hate but tolerate because you're semi worried he's going to turn into an angry hulk dude that calls her fat and don't want to isolate her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

She won at what? Being alone? That's true.

Meanwhile, I have three beautiful kids, an awesome wife, and a life so full I'm booked through May, literally.

Try being less angry. Maybe you'll find a partner to enjoy the ride with. It's a lot more fun than riding alone.


Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

NP. I'm pretty she won, here.

She won because she isn't saddled with a man like you. She won. Your life is not "wonderful" otherwise you wouldn't need to defend it so loudly and rudely, and you are too stupid to figure out the quote function here, which says a lot about you as well. Anyway, you have a better day! I'll keep winning with my life and you keep "winning" with yours.

Something about you just screams bunny boiler.

DP but agree. You seem like 'that dude' your friend is married to who you hate but tolerate because you're semi worried he's going to turn into an angry hulk dude that calls her fat and don't want to isolate her.

Oh and its not because you dumped a girl who was not exclusive at 6 months. I agree that that is too long to be quietly unexclusive. And it's not because I think she's blissfully happy unmarried and childless at 37, she may or may not be. It's how you're talking about it with like...aggressive glee and righteousness. 100% tone not content making you seem like a bullet to be missed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

I’m not having sex with either of them.


I’ve done low key activities and lunch with both of them. I have a dinner and activity planned with each of them later this week. I’ve likef both of them for a while now and I’m enjoying getting to know them.

I haven’t said I’m exclusive with either.
I won’t have sex until I’m ready to be exclusive.

Have you said that you're being not-exclusive? If saying so would actually sabotage things with the person, maybe it's wrong to also be dating someone else.

OP, at some point I think you should let them know. When I first started dating DW she informed me she had been casually seeing another guy she had been set up with, went on a couple dates with. Honestly it wasn't what I wanted to hear, but I understood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

I’m not having sex with either of them.


I’ve done low key activities and lunch with both of them. I have a dinner and activity planned with each of them later this week. I’ve likef both of them for a while now and I’m enjoying getting to know them.

I haven’t said I’m exclusive with either.
I won’t have sex until I’m ready to be exclusive.

I think this is called dating! It’s fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dating multiple people is totally fine, as long as you aren't lying about it. You don't need to pick one guy right now, and you don't need to tell them about the other until a few dates in.

Sex complicates things, because it is kind of sketchy to have sex with multiple people, but on the other hand it's expected that people will have sex early on. Ideally you'd delay sex until you are ready for commitment but that's not really feasible anymore.

Winning answer. This poster gets the gold star.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dating multiple people is totally fine, as long as you aren't lying about it. You don't need to pick one guy right now, and you don't need to tell them about the other until a few dates in.

Sex complicates things, because it is kind of sketchy to have sex with multiple people, but on the other hand it's expected that people will have sex early on. Ideally you'd delay sex until you are ready for commitment but that's not really feasible anymore.

Winning answer. This poster gets the gold star.

Why isn't delaying sex until you are ready for a commitment "not feasible anymore"? That's absurd. It's totally reasonable to only have sex with people you are in exclusive, committed relationships with.

[Anonymous]

I think it is ok to keep a rotation of dates going - just make sure to cull the herd when you get serious- you have to comparison shop.

Competition breeds interest in my opinion and makes you more of a catch to have more suitors......

You will know in your intuition when it is time to pick a winner.