Im always late and I hate myself for it

[Anonymous]

Just had my third this summer and she took us over the edge as far as our timely mannerisms go. We are almost always 10-12 minutes late to everything no matter how hard I try. I literally start prepping for the car 30 minutes before we have to leave the driveway an we are still usually late. Im very organized and not usually an ADHD-type personality. Its bothering me to my core but can't seem to change it. Anyone else have this issue?

[Anonymous]

I used to always be late but then I realized it was causing me so much stress and literally raising my blood pressure. I'm now more realistic about the time it takes to get ready and the time it takes to get places. I still cut myself some slack... maybe one out of five times I'm still about 10 minutes late to meet someone. I'm never late to work anymore and I'm so glad I was able to make that change.

[Anonymous]

Break it down and see why you’re late.

Do you have ADHD?

Are you overscheduled?

Which step seems to be the most problematic for you?

Have you broken down the steps you need to do to leave and timed them so you know how long it really takes you to get everyone buckled in and ready to drive away? (When I was struggling to be on time, I finally realized I didn’t factor in the time between getting out the door and getting the kids buckled into their car seats. It’s not negligible.)

I’d start with those and see what you can change.

[Anonymous]

Set your clocks ahead 10 minutes; plan to take 40 minutes to get out of the house and a minimum of one hour to get wherever you are going.

[Anonymous]

What can you leave in the car? I left a carton of diapers, wipes, bottled water, single serve powder formula, snacks, first aid kit, change of clothes, blanket, umbrella stroller, etc. in a box in the trunk of the car. I replenished it every Sunday evening.

[Anonymous]

This isn't rocket science. If you start prepping for the car 30 minutes before you have to leave and you are 10-12 minutes late, then start prepping the car 45 minutes before you have to leave.

[Anonymous]

How on earth does it take 30 min to get out the door? You grab the diaper bag (or better yet leave stuff in the car as PP suggested) and you walk out the door and buckle everyone in. Then you drive away. That doesn’t take 30 minutes. Everyone gets dressed when they get up. No lounging around all day in pjs. If you’re out of bed, get dressed. Shoes are by the door. Stroller stays in the car. Seriously, how is it taking that long?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What can you leave in the car? I left a carton of diapers, wipes, bottled water, single serve powder formula, snacks, first aid kit, change of clothes, blanket, umbrella stroller, etc. in a box in the trunk of the car. I replenished it every Sunday evening.

+1 then stop feeling bad. I have 3 and arriving is the goal. On my early days someone poops their diaper or wastes breakfast on all their clothes and just like that I’m late again

[Anonymous]

Your problem might be that you underestimate the drive/commute. If mapquest says 20, plan for 40.

I kept an emergency diaper bag in the car so I was always prepared.

[CapHillSteve]

You get off on it. You are addicted to the endolphins and dopamine from the stress. If you don't like it, see a clinical psychologist who practices cognitive behavior therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your problem might be that you underestimate the drive/commute. If mapquest says 20, plan for 40.

I kept an emergency diaper bag in the car so I was always prepared.

+1 I find so many people in this area do this. They think everything is 20-minutes away when in reality they are a solid hour+ away from their destination before you account for traffic. I think we spend so much time in our cars I’m this area that we really forget how long it takes us to get to places so we estimate wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Other people hate you for this, too.

I think this is a bit strong. But honestly if we really are always late then you are being rude. If you start 30 mins in advance and are still 10-12 minutes late the majority of time, then you need to start prepping 45 mins before you need to leave. If it’s a patter then you’re ignoring the obvious changes you can make.

[Anonymous]

My kid had a coach who was always late anywhere from 20-45 minutes. Almost every single appointment for a year! I say almost because there were 5-6 times when he was on time. Single, no kids so there was no excuse other than being pathological, rude and never acknowledging he has issues.

Just get started 15 minutes earlier. At least you want to stop being late

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single, no kids so there was no excuse other than being pathological, rude and never acknowledging he has issues.

Just get started 15 minutes earlier. At least you want to stop being late

Yes, because only people with kids have anything that could make them late. I agree that it's not okay that he was late, but statements like this are why childless people feel annoyed by parents.

[Anonymous]

CapHillSteve wrote:You get off on it. You are addicted to the endolphins and dopamine from the stress. If you don't like it, see a clinical psychologist who practices cognitive behavior therapy.

This. If you are ALWAYS late, then it's a choice that's affording you something, OP. Yes--it's a choice. And it's also a very selfish and narcissistic choice - you've decided that the high you get from running late is more important than other people's time.