expulsion from school

[Anonymous]

No judgment. I am a mess already. The drug dogs did a sweep of the parking lot and hit on my son's truck. They called him out of class and searched his car. The found vape with THC in it and vape pipes. The biggest problem is in the backseat, they found a pocket knife. He was handcuffed and taken to the police station. The pocket knife was in there because he goes up north on his dad's property (150 acres) for hunting and fishing. We have a camper and his truck is the vehicle that tows it. I KNOW he had no idea it was in there. He is responsible for the vape with THC in it. We have a hearing on Monday to see if he will be expelled. He will also face charges through our local police department.

He screwed up and will face consequences which I fully support. Marijuana in a car is a three day suspension. He is now suspended for 10 days and faces expulsion for a weapons charge. For what it is worth, he is a Senior, decent student and I still get emails from teachers regarding what a polite and kind student he is. He has never had any disciplinary issues and is very well-liked by teachers and students. He was captain of a very successful football team and always one of the coaches favorite. He has never had any disciplinary issues in school The pocket knife was 4 inches and 3 inches is allowed. F*^K! I want to kill him and am beyond stressed. Any advice for those that have BTDT?

[Anonymous]

Get a good attorney and make it clear that the knife was yours/Dad's and it is a family truck, not his. He screwed up big time. Clearly you were ignoring the drug issues.

[Anonymous]

So sorry this happened to you, OP, and also to your son.

All the other parents of teenagers on this forum ought to be reading this one to their kids. I'm pretty sure 99.9% of teenagers would never think the consequences could be this severe.

[Anonymous]

I agree with getting an attorney. Unfortunately “It wasn’t his knife, he didn’t know it was there” is unlikely to carry much weight because if it did, lots of parents would say that to get their kid out of trouble when they got caught with something they shouldn’t have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a good attorney and make it clear that the knife was yours/Dad's and it is a family truck, not his. He screwed up big time. Clearly you were ignoring the drug issues.

What I am guilty of is being unaware that THC can be put in vape. I did not ignore the vape. I take away anything I find and he is grounded. Yep! He really screwed up!!! He is well aware of this. I will not bail him out on marijuana or vape issues. If he is expelled from school than that is also his consequence.

[Anonymous]

As an aside PSA to other parents when their kids score a coveted high school lot parking spot: you surrender your typical constitutional protections against search and seizure. You really need to have this conversation with them so they understand. And, like here, it becomes a police matter as well as a school matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a good attorney and make it clear that the knife was yours/Dad's and it is a family truck, not his. He screwed up big time. Clearly you were ignoring the drug issues.

Absolutely get a good attorney and do what it takes to make this go away.

[Anonymous]

Wow those consequences are completely out of wack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with getting an attorney. Unfortunately “It wasn’t his knife, he didn’t know it was there” is unlikely to carry much weight because if it did, lots of parents would say that to get their kid out of trouble when they got caught with something they shouldn’t have.

I agree. Thanks. In my state they do consider intent. If he had an altercation with a student or a school record, it would be a done deal. He's a kid that played football all week, got his butt kicked on Friday night and then would limp into his job on Saturday and Sunday to work 16 hours. People criticized me for making him work but if he wants money, he's working for it. His work loves him. his teachers are shocked saying he is one of the politest kids they know and he has tons of friends.

Vape and marijuana is way more prevalent than parents are aware of. Not making excuses. He is guilty and will get up at his hearing and admit FULL responsibility for his actions. No excuses. The one thing the officer said is that he did not lie, deny and told them exactly where it was. He was polite and cooperative.

Kills me. I have a quote in his room that I put there a few years ago saying., "you are always free to choose but you are never free from the consequences of your actions". He'll be facing severe consequences real soon. Obviously, won't be going away to college next year will be a big one.

[Anonymous]

I also hesitate to hire a lawyer to get him off. I have seen so many kids whose parents do this and the kid realizes his parents will just bail him out. I do have the means to hire a good lawyer. I will not get him off on the marijuana charges. That is on him. The knife and expulsion from school is what I struggle with. I am 100% certain he had no idea it was in his car.

[Anonymous]

You hire the best lawyer you can and get him off and get him into drug treatment with regular testing - if you get him into a program and show you are taking it seriously that will help. That drug charge will carry with him for the rest of his life. You need to pay more attention to what your child is doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You hire the best lawyer you can and get him off and get him into drug treatment with regular testing - if you get him into a program and show you are taking it seriously that will help. That drug charge will carry with him for the rest of his life. You need to pay more attention to what your child is doing.

He will be charged outside of school. Probation includes drug testing. He is being drug tested at home as well. Good idea about the drug treatment program.

Thanks

[Anonymous]

High school teacher here. I wouldn't worry too much about the knife in the car. Schools (in our area at least) do a good job of understanding that a 4-inch pocket knife left in the car from a hunting trip is not a problem. Now, the drugs... that is a problem. I would recommend just remaining supportive, reminding him that you love him even though you are incredibly upset, and allowing him to face the consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You hire the best lawyer you can and get him off and get him into drug treatment with regular testing - if you get him into a program and show you are taking it seriously that will help. That drug charge will carry with him for the rest of his life. You need to pay more attention to what your child is doing.

He will be charged outside of school. Probation includes drug testing. He is being drug tested at home as well. Good idea about the drug treatment program.

Thanks

You don't sound like you want to do anything to help. Hire a good attorney and get your kid into drug treatment, and monitor him better. If he goes on probation this could stay with him forever. He screwed up. First offense. Get him help, give him consequences at home, including loss of the use of the car for anything outside of school/activities, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with getting an attorney. Unfortunately “It wasn’t his knife, he didn’t know it was there” is unlikely to carry much weight because if it did, lots of parents would say that to get their kid out of trouble when they got caught with something they shouldn’t have.

I agree. Thanks. In my state they do consider intent. If he had an altercation with a student or a school record, it would be a done deal. He's a kid that played football all week, got his butt kicked on Friday night and then would limp into his job on Saturday and Sunday to work 16 hours. People criticized me for making him work but if he wants money, he's working for it. His work loves him. his teachers are shocked saying he is one of the politest kids they know and he has tons of friends.

Vape and marijuana is way more prevalent than parents are aware of. Not making excuses. He is guilty and will get up at his hearing and admit FULL responsibility for his actions. No excuses. The one thing the officer said is that he did not lie, deny and told them exactly where it was. He was polite and cooperative.

Kills me. I have a quote in his room that I put there a few years ago saying., "you are always free to choose but you are never free from the consequences of your actions". He'll be facing severe consequences real soon. Obviously, won't be going away to college next year will be a big one.

If he's in school and sports, he doesn't need to be working the school year too. Its not about him being guilty. Yes he is but you need to minimize the long term consequences of a drug conviction. You need consequences at home. You are making excuses to say it is prevalent and acting like there is nothing you can do about it. You will not do anything about it and being polite and cooperative has nothing to do with it.

Get him a good attorney.

Quit the job and restrict money given he's using it for drugs.

Consequences at home such as loss of car outside school and activities and grounded.

Drug treatment program with drug testing. Trust but verify.

If he is convicted of drug charges, no college may take him.

Or, if you and Dad are divorced, maybe he should go live with Dad if you cannot handle him.