Would you send your 8-year-old to boarding school?

[Anonymous]

DH is from the UK and has three siblings. He and all of his siblings went to boarding school from the age of 8 (grade 3) till they were 18. That’s 10 years in boarding school. He and his brothers and one sister really enjoyed their experience. One sister did not and endured a lot of bullying and I suspect she was molested at boarding school while she was young. This seems to be a sore spot for his family and everyone will deny it happened. The sister is not sending her two kids (girl, 6 and boy, 9 ) to boarding school and it’s made MIL and FIL parents very upset since they offered to pay. I completely support her decision and DH mentioned her like our children to go to boarding school and I am absolutely against this. Our girls are young (2) and we plan on having a third but the idea of them not living at home with me doesn’t register. He wants them to go to the same boarding school their cousins attend in England but is willing to wait until they’re 10 or 11. I still don’t want to be away from my children that age, and so far.

We did discuss this before having children and I was on the fence but now that I have children I just can’t imagine sending them to boarding school as young children.

It’s a cultural issue for sure. I had a very hard time adjusting to college dorm life at 18 and ended up moving back. I did finish my degree but at a local school, and moved away at 22 for my MBA and did fine. DH thinks “the cord should be cut” at an earlier age to avoid situations like mine. I just think that’s so young, what would you do?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't. I might compromise with him and think about doing it for high school (*if and only if* the kids themselves wanted to go), but no way for elementary, and particularly out of country, assuming he wants them to go to the one he went to. Nope.

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty "live and let live" bu 8 years old is crazy to me. 12 or 13? I wouldn't do it but I don't bat an eyelash at those who do.

[Anonymous]

That is a hard no for me.

[Anonymous]

No I would not. I know my children will leave the house when they are old enough for college, so I value/treasure the time I have with them until that day comes.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. I would divorce over this.

[Anonymous]

After age 14 maybe, never before.

[Anonymous]

Not me, we wouldn't even send out kids away for summer camp.

[Anonymous]

It really depends on the child when you place them in a certain environment and if that environment make it friendly or not. How do you adjust to that environment. How will you adjust if you have to relocate and you don't get a choice on where. You just have to learn to survive.

On the parents side, well, someone else is raising your kids, so you don't have to do anything. But, are you ok to not see them on a daily basis.
So, if you choose this route, examine the boarding school.

[Anonymous]

no, definitely not at age 8. Not even sleep away camp yet. I would reconsider for high school if it was, for some reason, the right choice (eg, a therapeutic or specialized boarding school).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't. I might compromise with him and think about doing it for high school (*if and only if* the kids themselves wanted to go), but no way for elementary, and particularly out of country, assuming he wants them to go to the one he went to. Nope.

+1 No way would I let them go before high school and even then, only if they really wanted to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't. I might compromise with him and think about doing it for high school (*if and only if* the kids themselves wanted to go), but no way for elementary, and particularly out of country, assuming he wants them to go to the one he went to. Nope.

+1. No way.

[Anonymous]

I went to boarding g school for high school and had a good experience but I was always an independent child. I would send my kids for high school (maybe 7th or 8th grade if there was a very good reason eg academic opportunity or behavior issues or whatever) but 8 is so young!

[Anonymous]

I fantasize about it daily. I have one picked out in this country and ones picked out throughout Europe. But I dislike kids, so ...

[Anonymous]

Heck no . DH went to a boarding school in the UK, but he didn't board. He commuted. He absolutely refused to board, and he was 13. I don't understand why people have children if they plan on sending them off at age 8 to, effectively, be raised by a bunch of strangers.

Are your DH's family wealthy? I also feel like this is a class issue, and an antiquated system when it was the norm in the UK 100+ years ago for the elite to send your children off to places like Eton or some such at the age 8.