Would you send your 8-year-old to boarding school?

[Anonymous]

No f—-ing way!

[Anonymous]

It is culturally normal in many places for kids to grow up with grandparents, aunts and uncles, boarding school etc.

I was a day student at a boarding school and kids boarded as young as kindergarten.

When that is a normal part of the culture, there is no association with no wanting your kids or not loving your kids. It is like extended daycare or a nanny - just like other people can do the bulk of looking after kids, in boarding schools this just extends a little further. The parents are still parents but other caregivers are actively involved in the raising of the kids. The kids are in cultures where more independence is expected and normal so it isn't such a massive transition.

I think sending kids raised in the US to a UK boarding school would be a nightmare. Your kids are not from a culture where they would have the same skill sets as the British kids to manage that and they would likely see it as being sent away as it isn't typical at all in your social circle.

High school for sure if a different story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I think sending kids raised in the US to a UK boarding school would be a nightmare. Your kids are not from a culture where they would have the same skill sets as the British kids to manage that and they would likely see it as being sent away as it isn't typical at all in your social circle.

+1

PP here whose American cousins were all sent to UK boarding schools around age 8 (and all had a difficult time transitioning) and I COMPLETELY agree with this statement. They are prepared for this by their schools, childcare providers, etc.--versus there is no setting in the US that would prepare kids for this. Adding to the difference is that the British kids usually go in knowing a couple other kids in their class already (or have siblings and cousins at the same school), while the international kids do not, and the British kids get to go home much more frequently due to travel time.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After age 14 maybe, never before.

+1.
High school would be my cut-off point, but there's no way an 8-year-old should be send out to an institution, however great it might be. It's akin to abandonment, if you will.

[Anonymous]

I think it makes sense in three circumstances: a child from an abusive home, a child with parents who have to move frequently like armed forces or foreign service, who doesn't handle change well or where the location is dangerous (I had a friend who was sent to boarding school because her aid worker parents were posted to a country in an active civil war), or a child whose name is preceded on the school register by HRH, Your Grace, or The Right Honourable. Any of those apply here? If not, you will have a lot of trouble explaining it to people.

[Anonymous]

No way

[Anonymous]

No way. Used to be in boarding school at eight years old. ( in other country, not usa) Hated it everyday. I was not bullied.
My school was a girl school and culture was very strict. .

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is about schooling per se. I think this is about what you envision your parenting experience and family structure to be like, and what type of childhood you envision for your children. (The teen years are a little different; by the time the kids are teenagers, you can discuss what their vision of high school is like, and what would be best for their future.)

If your vision for parenting includes a lot of close family time throughout childhood, though, it doesn't make very much sense to send your children away to boarding school young. You may find that this clashes directly with your husband's vision for the future of your marriage, though. If he's thinking that once the kids are 8, you will effectively be empty nesters, but you're looking forward to high-investment parenting through until at least the end of middle school (and perhaps all the way through high school), that's a big disagreement that you need to resolve -- with the help of a couples therapist if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is about schooling per se. I think this is about what you envision your parenting experience and family structure to be like, and what type of childhood you envision for your children. (The teen years are a little different; by the time the kids are teenagers, you can discuss what their vision of high school is like, and what would be best for their future.)

If your vision for parenting includes a lot of close family time throughout childhood, though, it doesn't make very much sense to send your children away to boarding school young. You may find that this clashes directly with your husband's vision for the future of your marriage, though. If he's thinking that once the kids are 8, you will effectively be empty nesters, but you're looking forward to high-investment parenting through until at least the end of middle school (and perhaps all the way through high school), that's a big disagreement that you need to resolve -- with the help of a couples therapist if necessary.

Her husband should not have fathered children if he wants to send them to another conti ent to be raised by strangers at age 8.

[Anonymous]

No way, not ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I think sending kids raised in the US to a UK boarding school would be a nightmare. Your kids are not from a culture where they would have the same skill sets as the British kids to manage that and they would likely see it as being sent away as it isn't typical at all in your social circle.

+1

PP here whose American cousins were all sent to UK boarding schools around age 8 (and all had a difficult time transitioning) and I COMPLETELY agree with this statement. They are prepared for this by their schools, childcare providers, etc.--versus there is no setting in the US that would prepare kids for this. Adding to the difference is that the British kids usually go in knowing a couple other kids in their class already (or have siblings and cousins at the same school), while the international kids do not, and the British kids get to go home much more frequently due to travel time.

I agree with this take. My spouse went to boarding school around age 10 or 11 in the UK with the sibling close in age. It was fine for them, and they especially loved their boarding school here for high school. Kids raised in the US may have some difficulty adjusting to boarding school the UK, and I would be uncomfortable having my kids that far away. For me, that would be the biggest argument against.

Spouse would like our child to attend the US boarding school for high school, and while a bit skeptical, I am open to that conversation, only if my child is interested in that experience, and if she is even admitted (it is one of the top two schools, in NE). Would not consider boarding school abroad at all.

[Anonymous]

My daughter’s best friend went to boarding school in 9th. She was so sweet, against any alcohol or partying. Parents thought this was a best way to any ivy. She is in 11th now and is a hard core druggie/partier on her finsta. Boarding schools aren’t as rigid and wonderful as you think. This is a top 3 American NE boarding school. I was shocked.

I had kids to parent them, not let others raise them.

I think boarding schools work well for parents that constantly travel or maybe even divorced parents that both live far from each other. I also think if there is authority issues too. Otherwise, I am not sure the point.

[Anonymous]

I don’t even think I would send my 8 yo to all summer sleep away camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t even think I would send my 8 yo to all summer sleep away camp.

I have a family member that age who just went across the country to one, and LOVED it—can’t wait to go again. However, it was the child’s idea—a close friend was also going.