Have you told your spouse about your sexual assault?

[Anonymous]

Did you tell everything that happened?

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Yes, my husband knows everything about when I was raped in college.

[Anonymous]

Not in detail. I was in high school when it happened, before I met my husband. He knows it happened, and certain ways the trauma affects me, but not details. I don't think I could go through verbalizing it to him. Would be so awful.

[Anonymous]

Nope. It happened such a long time ago. I was a teenager. I was not raped. I was sexually harassed. I just assumed it happened to all women. Almost like a rite of passage.

[Anonymous]

He knows who it was, and roughly what was done to me. Did I tell him everything? No. I didn't feel the need to tell him everything.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I have PTSD so he needed to know pretty early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, my husband knows everything about when I was raped in college.

Did you just tell him? Did you prepare him in some way? I want to tell him, but don’t want to at the same time. I’m also unsure how to bring it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell everything that happened?

I was sexually assaulted with the intention of rape while in college. I was able to fight him off long enough and scream loud enough that some boys came to my rescue. I was jogging early in the morning on a designated path and he was a landscape worker.

As my husband was my first sexual partner yes, I told him everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, my husband knows everything about when I was raped in college.

Did you just tell him? Did you prepare him in some way? I want to tell him, but don’t want to at the same time. I’m also unsure how to bring it up.

Not PP but just sit him down and say "There is something I've wanted to tell you. Its hard for me so please just listen..." And go from there.

[Anonymous]

We were dating for probably about 8 months when I told him about childhood sexual abuse. He was one of the first people I ever told. Did not give explicit details.

Earlier than that I told him about an attempted rape in college. This incident is what I gave him the most details on, since there was the least to tell.

Much later, a couple years ago, I told him about being blackout drunk/suspected roofied and raped by a cab driver about a year before we met. I left out most of the details.

[Anonymous]

I got drunk and accidentally told him about being sexually abused as a kid. I'm glad it happened but he was horrified, shocked and visibly upset.

[Anonymous]

He knows very basic information but not more. It’s re-traumatizing to speak about, and he’s respectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, my husband knows everything about when I was raped in college.

Did you just tell him? Did you prepare him in some way? I want to tell him, but don’t want to at the same time. I’m also unsure how to bring it up.

I told him pretty early in the relationship because like another poster, I had PTSD, and starting a sexual relationship with someone new required a great deal of trust. Honestly, in the beginning, I told him probably just the basic fact that it happened. It was over years (and likely after some drinks) that I opened about about everything that happened. We’ve been married for 8 years and togrther for 11 so it’s been awhile since we’ve had the initial conversation. Not to get political, but Me too, trump, etc. has brought a lot of this back up for me and we’ve had many conversations about how I’m doing in light of all this.

Is this a new relationship for you? Is it something you feel you want to share? This needs to be on your terms, whatever decision you make.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for your responses and advice. It’s not a new relationship, we’ve been together for awhile and our talking marriage. I’ve been intimate with him and I trust him. I do want to tell him just because I think he should know. Just not sure how ready I am to do it.