Would you be annoyed with this? Birthday party RSVP for twins.

[Anonymous]

I have twin girls in JK (or preschool 4 or whatever you want to call the year before K). We're at a private school that starts with preschool 3 and goes through middle school. We were at a different school, similar grades, last year, but ended up switching because we moved, so we are new to this school as of a few weeks ago. There are two JK classes and they do recess and PE with each other every day as well as some other specials on occasion, so the kids all know each other (as much as they can since school just started). One of my girls has gotten one birthday party invitation for a kid in her class and the other has gotten two invitations for kids in her class. If you were the mom who had sent this invitation out, would you be annoyed if I asked if the uninvited twin was able to come? I would of course say that I completely understand if siblings can't come for whatever reason, and I really would - we had a party where the capacity was capped so I had to be careful with the sibling issue and I totally get it. But even if I said that would I come across as demanding and thoughtless? None of the invitations had any names written on them (i.e. one didn't say Jane and the others didn't say Janet), but I just assumed that the parents didn't know either girl was a twin. I didn't have this issue last year because I feel like we didn't have any early birthdays and by the time we did everyone knew each other and the invitations were extended to both girls.

[Anonymous]

Yes I would be annoyed, and moreso, surprised that you became an adult without somehow knowing that it is RUDE and totally inappropriate to ask to bring someone uninvited to a party. What is WRONG with you?

[Anonymous]

Just ask. I wouldn't be annoyed, but I may tell you that the venue has a cap, so I can't give you a definite answer until more RSVPs come in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would be annoyed, and moreso, surprised that you became an adult without somehow knowing that it is RUDE and totally inappropriate to ask to bring someone uninvited to a party. What is WRONG with you?

Say what? Do you have kids? This is pretty common.

[Anonymous]

What I would say to you -“yes, of course, that’s fine. We are happy to have her.”

What I would say in my head if my child has no clue the uninvited twin even exists - “that’s incredibly presumptuous and rude. Do I look like a free babysitting service?” (Internal eyeroll)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just ask. I wouldn't be annoyed, but I may tell you that the venue has a cap, so I can't give you a definite answer until more RSVPs come in.

+1

(/see what I did there?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would be annoyed, and moreso, surprised that you became an adult without somehow knowing that it is RUDE and totally inappropriate to ask to bring someone uninvited to a party. What is WRONG with you?

Say what? Do you have kids? This is pretty common.

Yes, I have kids. And I would NEVER bring a kid to a party if they weren't invited, except for when they were newborns and I wore them in a sling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would be annoyed, and moreso, surprised that you became an adult without somehow knowing that it is RUDE and totally inappropriate to ask to bring someone uninvited to a party. What is WRONG with you?

Say what? Do you have kids? This is pretty common.

Just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s not rude.

[Anonymous]

Hi Larla

Thank you for inviting my child to your daughters bday party. There was no name on the invitation. Could you tell me whom the invite is extended to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I would say to you -“yes, of course, that’s fine. We are happy to have her.”

What I would say in my head if my child has no clue the uninvited twin even exists - “that’s incredibly presumptuous and rude. Do I look like a free babysitting service?” (Internal eyeroll)

100 X this

--mom of twins

[Anonymous]

I guess it depends on whether the birthday kid has a relationship with the presumably uninvited twin.

[Anonymous]

If I wasn't under any kind of restriction for the number of people, I'd love to have more. Seems weird to make families with kids that young split up their weekend time so one kid can attend and one can't.

[Anonymous]

People are too quick to take offense. Good grief. Twins are a different situation than asking of if the toddler sibling can come, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are too quick to take offense. Good grief. Twins are a different situation than asking of if the toddler sibling can come, too.

No, actually they are not some special situation where they must never be separated. They are totally different people who can have different friends and interests. I grew up with five sets of twins in my grade, and was friends with kids from three of those sets. I was not friends with both twins simply because they were twins. They had different personalities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are too quick to take offense. Good grief. Twins are a different situation than asking of if the toddler sibling can come, too.

In my school it was the custom to include the other twin (there a couple sets in my DC's grade) in any birthday invitation. I would not have thought of it myself, but I just followed along.